Does Disciplining Your Child Harm Your Relationship?

Will disciplining children for tantrums and outbursts damage their willingness to share feelings and communicate openly? Discover four biblical principles that show how proper discipline actually strengthens rather than harms parent-child relationships.

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 - Introduction: The Heart of a Torn Parent

1:09 - The Core Question About Discipline and Relationship

1:33 - Principle 1: Spankings Are Not the Only Thing We Do

2:57 - Principle 2: Spankings Are for Sin, Not Feelings

3:31 - Clarifying What We Punish vs. What We Discuss

4:21 - Teaching Children to Identify Their Sin

5:15 - Principle 3: Discipline Is Parental Obedience to God

5:39 - Proverbs 13:24 - Love Disciplines Diligently

6:31 - Building Character Through Parental Integrity

6:57 - Principle 4: Spanking Is Not the Last Step

7:45 - The Lambert House Rule: Don't Leave Angry

8:22 - Ending Discipline with Prayer, Grace, and Restoration

8:44 - When Discipline Goes Wrong vs. Right

MAIN POINTS

- Spankings Are Not the Only Thing We Do

Physical correction should be a very small percentage of overall parenting time. Parents who discipline have earned that right through much larger investments of positive relationship building. - Discipline is placed within a broader context of love and care throughout daily life.

- Spankings Are for Sin, Not Feelings or Preferences

Children should never be punished for having feelings, needing to talk, or making mistakes. - Discipline is specifically for sin - violations of God's law. Parents must clearly communicate the difference between emotions that need discussion and sinful behaviors that require correction.

- Discipline Is Parental Obedience That Models Integrity

Following Proverbs 13:24, parents demonstrate love through diligent discipline. This shows children that parents have integrity and follow God's commands, building rather than undermining confidence in the parent-child relationship over a lifetime.

- Discipline Should End with Restoration, Not Anger

The Lambert house rule was to never leave discipline sessions angry. After confession, forgiveness, and correction, the process should end with prayer, grace, and often laughter and affection. The goal is restoring the relationship broken by sin through faithfulness to God's Word.

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES

Primary Passages:

Proverbs 13:24 - Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him

Supporting Context:

Proverbs 22:15 - Folly is bound up in the heart of a child

Proverbs 23:13-14 - Do not withhold discipline from a child

Hebrews 12:5-11 - God disciplines those he loves

Ephesians 6:1-4 - Children obey parents; fathers don't provoke to anger

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - Teaching children diligently

Colossians 3:21 - Fathers, do not embitter your children

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