#363 Fingering, Finger-banging and Hand Sex - with Darshana Avila
Jan 9, 2024
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In this episode, guest Darshana Avila teaches us about fingering and hand sex on orifices and shares her trauma-informed approach to somatic sex education. The hosts discuss techniques for pleasuring the vulva and clitoris, misconceptions around sexual orientation, and the importance of hand hygiene for anal play. They also explore detailed techniques for anal penetration and the significance of caring for your partner's hands during sexual activities.
Proper fingering techniques involve starting with a light touch and gentle rocking motion, progressing to stroking the inner thighs and outer labia, and using varying degrees of pressure and different directions.
For clitoral stimulation, experiment with lightly pinching and releasing the sides of the clitoral head using the pads of your fingers and thumb, adjusting the speed, pressure, direction, and location to find what feels best for your partner.
When engaging in vaginal fingering, prioritize using a relaxed finger that curves naturally, applying pressure on the pads of the fingers rather than the tips, and exploring different areas of the vagina, such as the upper wall and side walls, for enhanced pleasure.
Deep dives
External Vulva and Clitoris Stimulation
To start, place a flat hand over the pubic mound with fingers pointing down, providing a light touch and gentle rocking motion. Progress to stroking the inner thighs and grazing fingers up and down the outer labia. Use the pads of your fingers or thumbs to apply varying degrees of pressure and experiment with different directions and locations. Remember to use lube and communicate with your partner about what feels good.
Internal Vaginal Penetration
Start with slow and gentle penetration, using a well-lubricated index finger and leading with single finger penetration. Stroke the finger up and down the labia, tease at the vaginal opening, and let the finger rest at the entrance of the vagina to allow the body to acclimate and calibrate. Communicate with your partner about their comfort and proceed at a pace that feels good for both of you.
The Baby Hand Job
For direct clitoral stimulation, try lightly pinching and releasing the sides of the clitoral head using the pads of your index finger and thumb. Experiment with the speed, pressure, direction, and location of your touch to find what feels best for your partner.
Communication and Consent
Remember to prioritize communication, consent, and respect for your partner's boundaries and preferences. Ask for feedback, encourage open dialogue, and be willing to adjust your technique based on their individual needs and desires.
Techniques for Vaginal Fingering
When it comes to vaginal fingering, it is important to use a relaxed finger that curves naturally along the knuckles and joints, following the curves and contours of the body. A gentle and gliding motion with the fingers is recommended, initially using the arm and wrist to move more than the finger itself. Applying pressure on the pads of the fingers rather than the tips is crucial. Exploring different areas of the vagina, such as the upper wall and side walls, can enhance pleasure. The urethral sponge, also known as the G-spot, is often found on the upper wall of the vagina and can be stimulated by fingers.
Techniques for Anal Fingering
When engaging in anal fingering, it is essential to maintain cleanliness and hygiene by washing hands thoroughly. The anus requires ample lubrication as it is not self-lubricating. Gentle touch and circular motions can help relax the sphincters. Slow and gradual penetration using the pad of the finger, with a focus on stretching the tissues and gradually deepening the entry, is recommended. Communication and checking in with the receiver's comfort level is crucial. Gentle movements, attention to dexterity and flexibility, and the use of gloves or lube can enhance the experience. Exiting slowly and offering aftercare is important to ensure a pleasurable and comfortable experience.
This episode is all about fingering and hand sex on orifices - specifically pussies and assholes. Repeat guest Darshana Avila teaches us all about how to use your hands on all the holes for more pleasure (and even better orgasms).
About our guest: Darshana is nurturing a culture of Erotic Wholeness. Many know her from her groundbreaking work on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop where she shared her trauma-informed, nature-based, justice-oriented approach to somatic sex and intimacy education. In her private practice and group journeys she supports people to embrace their erotic nature and thrive in their lives and relationships. To learn more visit darshanaavila.com
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