How To Think With Dan Henry How To Un-F@#$ Your Mind With John Whiting
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What would your life look like if you could control your thoughts and emotions?
Few learn to manage their thoughts and emotions in a way that allows them to be genuinely in control…
The truth is if you can’t control your emotions, you can’t manage money, a business, or a team.
Maybe you’ve found yourself regretting decisions you made based on your emotion…
Would you agree you’d be able to make better decisions if you were able to think logically rather than getting caught up in emotional decision-making?
If you find your emotions control you more than you’re controlling your emotions, this is for you!
In this episode, I interview John Whiting and discuss how learning how the mind works taught him to change the way he thinks. John shares what he learned about controlling emotions and how you can apply these same principles in your life!
In this episode, I am going to cover:
- Why You Must Think Outside Of Your Emotion
- How Expectation Makes You Drunk
- Why You Should Focus On Playing A Bigger Game
- Why You Need To Get Clear On Your Destination
- You Must Become The Person That Deserves Success
- And… So much more!
If you got value from what you heard here, please be sure to subscribe and rate this podcast! Bonus points for you if you write a review! ;)
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— TRANSCRIPT —
Dan Henry: (00:00)
Hey, everyone. Welcome to How To Think the show where we take a look at people who have overcome the odds and done amazing things with their life. And we explore how they think so that we can learn how to be more successful ourselves. Today, we have John Whiting on the show. John went from at the lowest possible point in his life where he was literally contemplating suicide to completely changing how he thought, the entire way he viewed how the mind works. And as a result, created a million-dollar business and multiple actually million-dollar businesses. And literally just completely turned his life around. And it was so impactful for him that he began teaching other people, this sort of different way to look at the mind. And it's very deeply rooted in controlling your emotions and using them as a tool rather than allowing them to prevent you from getting what you want in life. And so that's what we're going to explore. And of course, as always, if you would like to get daily success, mentoring, go to HowToThink.Com and sign up. It's an amazing app where you will get a daily success audio each and every day to keep you on track and show you how to work towards a more successful you. So with that said, let's get into the interview.
Dan Henry: (01:34)
What's up, John?
John Whiting: (01:35)
What's up, dude?
Dan Henry: (01:36)
Bulletproof Entrepreneur. How you doing, man?
John Whiting: (01:38)
Good brother. How are you doing?
Dan Henry: (01:39)
Pretty good long drive over here. Right? Incredibly long drive.
John Whiting: (01:43)
All 30 minutes of it, baby.
Dan Henry: (01:45)
Well, that was easy. So I'm, I'm so happy to have you on the show because we've been doing business together for some time and I just wanted to get you on here because we've had some pretty crazy conversations...
John Whiting: (01:57)
Understatement.
Dan Henry: (01:59)
Outside of a microphone and to a degree I'd like to get some of those conversations on a microphone. Not all though. But so listen, I, you know, I wanna start with sort of like where, where you came from because you, you know, you have this company, a Bulletproof Entrepreneur, and it's a successful company. You teach entrepreneurs how to improve their mindset and the way they think and their mental game, which I'm all about that. You know, we do that, How To Think. Yours is very, very specific though. And I like it because it's very, it's and correct me if I'm wrong, but it's very based, or at least it's somewhat based, in stoicism, correct?
John Whiting: (02:42)
Yeah. A lot of the same principles.
Dan Henry: (02:44)
So just real quick for, for those that may not know what that is. Can you just quickly define what stoic is and why, especially an entrepreneur may want to consider looking into that.
John Whiting: (02:58)
So ultimately non reactive, right? So as entrepreneurs, we get bullets shot at us constantly, right? Not to be too punny a Bulletproof Entrepreneur, but ultimately, you know, how you respond or react to those bullets coming at you determines what happens, right? So the less reactive you are to external forces, whatever it may be, the more, the better decisions you're gonna make, just like Warren Buffet says, if you can't manage your emotions, you can't manage money. You can't manage a business, you can't manage a team so on and so forth. So the less reactive that we are and the more calm, cool, collected, logical and methodical that we are pretty much, that's why Warren has a hundred mil, hundred-billion dollar net worth. So it's worked for me as well so,
Dan Henry: (03:42)
So, in essence, are you saying basically to not be emotional?
John Whiting: (03:46)
It's a tool, emotions are a tool, right? So it's either you can be caused over your emotions or effect to your emotions. So emotions, I'm not saying, throw them out. What I'm saying is you, there's a time and a place to demonstrate certain behavior, your certain emotions, and many times the things that get us in the biggest trouble is when we reactively do something that we then look back and say, Hmm, probably shouldn't have done that. Right. And so the more causative that we can be over that usually the better decisions, therefore, the better actions are for the better results.
Dan Henry: (04:18)
So like stoicism would then be the art of being able to make a decision and essentially letting only logic rule, how you make that decision and not let emotion get into it. Is that, is that sort of like a simple definition?
John Whiting: (04:35)
Yeah. Incredibly fair. Yeah. Incredibly fair.
Dan Henry: (04:37)
Okay. So what would be your response to people who, cuz I can, I can already hear this, right. I can, I already see the peanut gallery drawing out their picket signs and holding 'em up and saying, well, we're not robots. We're not, you know, yeah. Human beings are emotional. And I, I believe that you have to understand the context that goes with it because you know, if you're saying, oh, you're raising children or you are, you know, in a relationship. Yeah. If you completely strip emotions out, probably not gonna go there. There's probably gonna be some negative, negative fallout to that because you, you aren't a robot. But when we're talking about a business, we're talking about growing a business, it's a different context. So what would your response to be those that would push back on the idea of stripping out the emotion to make good decisions?
Dan Henry: (05:28)
Yeah. I would say if it's working for you keep doing it.
Dan Henry: (05:32)
Oh, come on. You don't have to be that nice.
John Whiting: (05:34)
Well, so and so like just full disclosure, every time that I talk to anybody, I'm like, everything that I'm all about is a suggestion that has worked for me, has worked for my clients, and it's led to a great part of my success in what I've done so far. But it might conflict with beliefs that you have, if that's okay, great. Like my intention is not to completely change your entire fundamental belief system. If you're not liking where you are and you are extremely emotionally volatile and you're arguing with me about it and you don't have the results that you want. I might invite you to look at it a different way, but I'm not saying this is how it is. This is what's totally 100% absolutely true for everybody. I'm just saying what's true for you is true. So if what you're doing is working, I'm not trying to convince you.
Dan Henry: (06:25)
What do you think the people that might listen to this and say, oh, you know, you gotta, you can't strip out all the emotion. I wonder how many of those people it is working for them? You know, they, they are successful because I mean, if, if you think about it, there are definitely some people that are successful, who you might consider emotional, like Donald Trump or something. Though, the jury is out on whether or not that is intentional and, and calculated, or that's literally a reactive sort of thing. Because I think a lot of people may look at, you know, they, they may look at somebody like that or somebody in the news that is emotional. That is, that is, and they might think, oh, well, you know, it works for them. They're fine. But in reality, maybe they're doing that on purpose.
John Whiting: (07:16)
Well, yeah, exactly. So like I said, emotions are tools, right? So they're tools in your tool shed that are meant to be used. So either they're using you or you are using them. So you can't, for example sell anybody on anything if you have no emotion, you can't do it. So what you have to do is strategically use that emotion. So for example, somebody calls, comes to a call with you and they're like, man, this is really tough. You're not just going to be like, okay, buy my stuff. Like, that's not gonna work. Right. So you're gonna be like, Hey man, I understand I've been where you're at. You know, it's tough.
Dan Henry: (07:52)
Well, you're talking like selling though. You're talking about marketing, selling.
John Whiting: (07:54)
Regardless, it's still an emotion that you're using as a tool, right?
Dan Henry: (07:57)
Well, I'm talking more about like making a decision in your business, something that's off camera, off of the public eye, you know, because you're right. Like you, you, if you are, you're out there and you're just like a robot like this, nobody's gonna relate to you. Because human beings are emotional creatures and if they can't sense that you do have an emotional side to you that they can relate to and resonate with, no.
John Whiting: (08:20)
Of course.
Dan Henry: (08:20)
But what I'm saying is outside of all of that, you know, just in the deep, dark core of, yeah. You wake up in the morning and you say, am I gonna go this direction? Or am I gonna go this direction? Am I gonna do this or am I gonna do that? Those decisions? Do you, do you feel that emotion completely is a detriment or do you feel that it, it just, it's more of a degree.
John Whiting: (08:47)
I think it's worth taking into consideration, but the way you've take it into consideration, you have to be kind of exterior to it in order to, to practically take it into consideration. You teach this incredibly well, when you essentially... We good on language on?
Dan Henry: (09:03)
Yeah. You can say whatever you want. So you're talking about the Second mind?
John Whiting: (09:06)
No, no, no. What I, no, no, no. So you're like, don't come to a coaching call and tell me, I feel like my sales are down. I feel like this. I feel like that. What are the numbers, right? I can only help you if I understand this is why you gotta make data on decision, or you may make decisions on data not emotion. It's because how many times have you? And I both like, felt like going awry. And then we look at actually going and you're like, oh, we're actually doing pretty good.
Dan Henry: (09:33)
Yeah. It's yeah. It's crazy. Cause people do people, entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs do this. They'll get out there and they'll say something like, well, and I've had people say this to me a million times. I feel like this isn't working.
John Whiting: (09:47)
Right.
Dan Henry: (09:48)
And it's like, well, I don't care how you feel. I care about the facts. Cuz the facts don't care about your feelings, facts are facts. And I know we live in a world now where facts are subjective. But the bottom line is that if something isn't working, you're going to be able to know if you actually check. Cause I can't tell you the amount of time somebody says, well, this is the problem or this is what's going on. I'm like, well let me look at it. And then I look at it.
Dan Henry: (10:15)
I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? That has nothing to do with what you just said. Right here. And so I agree that I, that emotions can be a, you know, a detriment. And just to give you a practical example, look at social media influencers. Right? So here's the funny thing is I can make a post on my social media and it'll get like 12 comments or whatever, you know, cuz I'm not like a huge, I don't think either one of us are huge social media people, we're entrepreneurs. And somebody will be like, oh, you can't possibly make a bunch of money. Cuz you got 12 comments. And it's like, okay, but my ads and, and all this stuff, when I look at it, we, we did like a million dollars this month. So it's or whatever, you know?
Dan Henry: (11:02)
So it's like, like I know, like I know Anthony Morrison, he, he doesn't do, the guy the guy does crazy numbers, insane numbers, multi, multi, multi eight figures. And he's not that active on social. Like if you did not, if you weren't on his email list or you weren't a part of his actual closed sort of door tribe of, of, you know, hundreds of thousands of people, you wouldn't really know who guys like that are compared to somebody who gets out there and post a stupid picture of their food, or their sneakers, or a Lamborghini they don't own, or some new age rap music that even rappers don't know what it is. You know? Like, I mean, it's, it's a, it's a huge thing. And when we get emotional about attention, oh, I want attention. I want people to know who I am. Well great. But that doesn't necessarily translate into dollars.
John Whiting: (11:55)
No, totally, absolutely. And that's why, you know, ultimately it's kind of, I like the analogy of like, this is literally how pilots fly planes. Right? Would you get in a plane with a pilot who says you know, I, I think, I, I feel like this is gonna go, okay, right? I feel pretty good about this. But he has no dashboards or dials or data on anything. He's just like, I feel pretty good about this.
Dan Henry: (12:20)
Like he's got black tape over all of the instruments on the plane.
John Whiting: (12:23)
Let's assume it's a plane that doesn't exist. That, that, that whole thing doesn't exist. You're just like, ah, I feel pretty good about this, right? Like, no, you wouldn't get in the plane. Why.
Dan Henry: (12:31)
I would get off the plane immediately.
John Whiting: (12:32)
Right, exactly.
Dan Henry: (12:32)
I've gotta take a pee, not in this plane. And then I would not come back
John Whiting: (12:37)
Right, exactly. Right. And so ultimately, especially in business specifically, like you can't attract a team if they don't know, like using that plane analogy, the team won't get on the plane if you don't know your own numbers and you're not able to show your team, Hey, here's what happens when you do these particular things, using the systems that we have in this company that are proven to work. If you don't have that to show them their confidence is very low and they're going to feel uncomfortable and not really, probably even know why. Right. And so ultimately the more when that's why you have to have data on everything in your business is because that's how you need to make decisions as you, you were the, one of the first people that like, I really heard go aggressively on like, don't tell me how you feel anymore. I just wanna know what your numbers are.
Dan Henry: (13:29)
Well, well look, I'm gonna be honest with you. Right. Here's what happens in the consulting space. People will sign up to get business advice, but what they really need is therapy.
John Whiting: (13:41)
Yeah.
Dan Henry: (13:42)
You know what I mean? Like, and I'm not, and I'm, I'm not kidding. Like they'll sign up. Because when I first got started teaching people business, I did not, I did not even realize that I had to be a therapist or a mindset coach. You know, I didn't even realize that. And you do, if you teach anything, you have to be to some degree, a mindset coach, because people will come in and you could be like, here is what you do. Click here, click there, do this, do that, say this, say that. And if they do it, it will work. Right. But they don't because they're like, but, and then insert all of these emotional things.
Dan Henry: (14:17)
And you're like, wait a minute. I signed up. It's like, if you were a firefighter and you signed up to be a firefighter and then they're like, Hey, can you go arrest that guy? Well, I'm a firefighter. I'm not a cop. But see the thing about it is, is that in, and Perry Belcher, brilliant guy, said this to me one time and I'm sure he said this to a lot of people. But he says like, if you don't solve the customer's complete problem, you're leaving a lot of money on the table. So if you wanna be successful, even in, not even in a coaching business, but in, in a, in any business, right? Like could be a gym, like think about this. Gyms, some of the best gyms, they inspire people to lose weight in their marketing and in their messaging. If you just walk into a like, but if you think about it, the business model is, Hey, here's a box.
Dan Henry: (15:08)
Here's a key, here's a bunch of gym equipment. Give me 20 bucks a month. And there you go. But it's not, you actually have to inspire people. And a lot of people don't realize that. And so you can either get frustrated with that or, or you can, you can tackle it. But have you noticed that, like if you were to do a percentage of tactical versus mental. So tactical, meaning say this on the phone and close a sale or, you know, do this thing in a stock market to make whatever, you know, versus the mental aspect of it where it's like, okay, here's how you manage your emotions around that. If you were to give that like a 70/30, 50/50, 60/40, where would you, where would you land that?
John Whiting: (15:52)
I mean, ultimately I think an 80/20 is fair. I think it's fair. Ultimately even the, the tactic and tactics and the strategies are fueled by a decision making process that is through some sort of an emotional lens filter in and of itself. So you could argue that the whole thing is a hundred percent. Mainly because your perception drives how you would even come up with or interpret tactics in the first place. Right? So you could argue that it's a hundred percent, but I would say to be fair and practical, like, yes, you need the, how tos and they need to be accurate. However, you and I both know that building a business really isn't that hard. You share your message with a lot of people, find out what they want, go out and get it and give it to 'em and you package it up in a way that you can pass it off to somebody else to delegate to. And you repeat that over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Dan Henry: (16:47)
Yeah. I mean, that's,
John Whiting: (16:49)
There's your tactics right there. It's honestly, Hey, what do you need? Like you just said, like, you, you, the problems that are left unsolved or whatever it is that you just said or you're leaving opportunity on the table and it's just, you know, I forget who's quote it is, but you know, you help enough people get what they want, you get what you want. And what's funny is the questions that you and I both get is just like, and I even, I ask you for things on your perception. You're like, I don't know, go ask your target market. I'm like, oh yeah. So like a lot of the time, like we have to be reminded it, like most of our job is reminding people of things that they already know.
Dan Henry: (17:23)
Oh, you need to say that one again for those in the bleachers. I mean, that's, that's absolutely true. I mean, be I have literally paid for coaching myself, or masterminds where I will hear something that I already knew that I already acknowledge I should be doing, but because I heard it again and maybe I just heard it in a slightly different way, or maybe it was just the fact that I got on a plane, spent tens of thousands of dollars to go out there, sat my ass down instead of watching a stupid YouTube video and actually was there fully present and heard it again that I finally did it. And then boom, it turns into million dollars.
John Whiting: (18:00)
Perfect example. So the other day, I'll leave his name off, but there's a new client that I just signed up that does a hundred million a year. Okay. And in our conversation with each other, he, we were having conversations similar to this and probably went down some rabbit holes. But ultimately he's just like, I said something similar. I'm just like, honestly, dude, like my job's really simple. All I do is remind people what they already know, who they, they really are, what they're actually capable of and just like get 'em back on track. He's like, that's exactly what I need. He's like, I'm so glad you said that. He's like, that's exactly like, I'm like, oh, okay, great. Like, awesome. Like it's just, it's business is so much simpler than people try to make it and you know.
Dan Henry: (18:46)
That's why, that's why they overcomplicate it. It's the emotion, the emotion drive the over complication. I mean, I cannot tell you how many times I've had somebody come up to me. Maybe even they just saw me in the street or something and they're like, ask this question and I'm like, dude, I've never even thought about that. I mean, you've actually asked me questions...
John Whiting: (19:05)
You've said that to me.
Dan Henry: (19:06)
Yeah. And I was like, I've never even remotely thought about that, I just do this. And, and, and you know, and you're, and I, and I've asked people that, and I've heard that same thing and I believe it's, it's it's anything from fear, could be anger, could be self confidence issues could be ego that cause you to do things that lead to an overcomplication. You know, I, I mean, I would say that when I started teaching people business tactics, I was not including, like mindset, or mental game stuff. And quickly I realized I'm like, man, these people really need therapy really bad. Like these, like I just thought they would just do the thing and go get results. I didn't know I had to basically like, you know, heal their mental trauma or whatever, you know? And, and so then I, I, I had to, you know, I had two choices.
Dan Henry: (19:59)
I could either not do that and be a mediocre player in the game, or I could learn how to, to do that and, and study and experiment. And then eventually I started putting, mind, like literally the first things, the first modules in any programs I put out were all mindset. And all of a sudden, like crazy, the loyalty, the brand loyalty went up, the results went up, everything went up. And also those were like the parts people remember. Cause people, you know, people may not remember tactics, but they remember how you make 'em feel. And that was one of the reasons I started How To Think, because I was like, wait a minute. I was like, why don't I just make an entire company based off of this? And because it look and I will, and you, you can push back on this if you want. But I firmly believe that if you take two people and one person has a shit mindset and they're they're, they have a crappy attitude, but they have the most effective tactic on the planet. And then you take somebody else who has a, a, a growth mindset and they have confidence, and they have willpower and they have all those. They have the mental game on point and you give them a subpar tactic they will still crush the other guy every single time.
John Whiting: (21:23)
No question. Yeah. Why would I push back on that? I thought you were gonna, I thought you were gonna lob me up a hard one, you know, that's why would I push back on that one? No.
Dan Henry: (21:34)
You know just trying to get some, some viral clips for the show, but I mean, that, that's the thing is, you know, that's why, that's why I started How To Think. And I'm sure that's why you started Bulletproof Entrepreneur.
John Whiting: (21:49)
Absolutely.
Dan Henry: (21:50)
Because you realize it doesn't matter what business they're in or what they're trying to do if they don't have the mental game, I mean, I've told you, I've told you my little analogy on this multiple times, you know, Tom Brady says the game of football, 90% mental. You know, Michael Jordan game of basketball, 90% metal. Tiger Woods, game golf, 90% metal. What makes you think business is any different? Yeah. And, and we were talking about this before we started recording, but take Tom Brady as an example. We'll use a different analogy than what we used prior,
John Whiting: (22:22)
Probably wise. Probably wise. Would get a viral clip out of it though.
Dan Henry: (22:24)
Yeah. So well, maybe.
John Whiting: (22:30)
Circle back.
Dan Henry: (22:31)
Yeah. So, so Tom, I'll never forget this. Tom Brady said that the guys that are in the NFL that are gifted with like huge muscles and they're naturally athletic, they often are, are, they don't reach the top often because they, they have so much given to, but they don't know how to develop heart. And he says, when it comes post-season time, when it comes time to win championships, muscles, don't win championships, muscles don't win rings, heart wins rings. Look at Tom Brady. He is not physically like, you know, he, he is not that jacked. He is not a, a overly athletic. You, you see him in the street, you, you would never think he was an athlete yet. He's the greatest quarterback of all time. And it just goes to show you that that is the mental game. The heart is the mental game. So no matter what you do, if you can develop that you can crush and the number one person that needs it the most is the person that says "oh, mindset is bullshit". How, how often have you seen that as something that's like really held people back their resistance to improving their mental game?
John Whiting: (23:44)
I would say as a general, it's the number one thing, right? It just goes back to the, you know, 80/20 or a hundred percent. Like, it's literally the one thing, like, you've heard me say my, my drunk sober analogy. Right. So for those of you who haven't heard this, why would you, unless you follow me are already. But you know, do you make better decisions drunk or sober? We'll just go through it.
Dan Henry: (24:05)
Well, I would say sober.
John Whiting: (24:06)
Sober, right? How about when you're afraid, or nervous, or anxious, or really frustrated, do you make better decisions in that state or when you're calm?
Dan Henry: (24:15)
When you're calm, for sure.
John Whiting: (24:16)
Calm. Right? So when you're in one of these frustrated, very emotionally volatile, or even like super excited, like overly excited states, you tend to make decisions that's kind of like being mentally drunk, right?
Dan Henry: (24:29)
Absolutely. Yeah.
John Whiting: (24:30)
So ultimately when you're talking about, you know, I can, if I gave you the best, how-to strategies and tactics in the world, but you're blacked out drunk, will you be able to do anything with it?
Dan Henry: (24:41)
No, no.
John Whiting: (24:42)
No. Right. So what happens is, and this is what...
Dan Henry: (24:46)
You might puke, but.
John Whiting: (24:47)
You might puke, right? But ultimately at the end of the day, like what everybody else is trying to do is like, most people are walking around in some degree of mental drunkenness. And what happens is, is they're going to evaluate solutions, solve problems, look at tactics and strategies wandering around after shots of fear, guilt, doubt, frustration, anger, resentment. And they're just, you're taking shots as soon as you wake up. Let's say you sleep in too long and you feel, oh, my energy's low now. Now you're feeling wa wa wa.
John Whiting: (25:22)
Right as soon as your eyes open, you're like, oh shit, today's gonna suck or whatever. Take a shot of self-doubt and then a shot of guilt that you slept into long. And then you're wondering, like, you just keep doing this throughout the day, and you're wondering why you lose focus, why you can't do anything. Like, it's just literally the same thing. And so ultimately that's why we take entrepreneurs through a process to essentially sober up their mind so that they don't experience that. Or if they do, instead of you and I, have you ever met somebody who sat in a problem? Like, let's say they got dumped and they sat in it for way too long.
Dan Henry: (25:56)
Oh yeah.
John Whiting: (25:57)
Right.
Dan Henry: (25:57)
Oh yeah. I live in Florida. That's like everyone.
John Whiting: (26:00)
Exactly. Right. So one of my favorite definitions of wisdom is the speed at which you're able to see both sides of an event and neutralize it and transcend it. So if you let's say you get dumped and you sit in it for eight years or 80 years, sometimes that's not the most wise way of operation.
Dan Henry: (26:20)
Absolutely.
John Whiting: (26:21)
Right. So if you're able to, and there's like, I'm not saying, take emotion out of it. Like if your dog dies and you're just like, oh good, like that's a bit sociopathic. I'm not saying go there. I'm just saying there's an appropriate amount of time, just as a reasonable, you know, processing of an emotion. Whereas most people, they got rejected in something that they even forgot years and years ago. And now today, that's why they're afraid to ask their target market, their audience, "Hey, well, how is it that I can help you?" So they hide behind a consultant and go, "Hey, consultant, what should I say so I never experience rejection?" And our challenge is, is there's no answer to that question. We're not the one, I can't give you the answer to that question. It's literally impossible for me to tell you what to go say to your target market, which is why every time I bring an idea to you, you're like, I don't know, dude. Go test it. I'm like, yeah, that's a good point.
Dan Henry: (27:16)
Well, see, I always say, I can't tell you the answer. I can just tell you the process that will get you the answer. Cause I don't know the answer. I've never known the answer.
John Whiting: (27:22)
But, what will keep somebody from executing on that is a fear of getting rejected, a frustration. It could even be something real unrelated. Like they're frustrated with their aunt because their aunt's being an asshole during the holidays. Like it could be, you know, it could be literally anything that causes what I'll, I'll I'll name, mental drunkenness. Right? And so now it won't matter how good the advice is, how determined you are. You'll find a way to fuck it up essentially. And what happens is, you go do whatever meditations, affirmations, journaling, whatever. Let's say you're hammered drunk. And I say, all right, we're gonna meditate, do affirmations and journal. You're gonna be like scribing drunk, and I don't know this isn't working. And then you get distracted and go do something else. And then be like, "I don't know, I tried that shit. It doesn't work. None of that stuff works". And you loop it into this big generalities bucket because you're not getting specific on anything. And you say none of that worked. I tried it all. You've seen that. How many people have you talked to said, yeah, I tried everything and it didn't work, and they've tried two fucking things?
Dan Henry: (28:25)
Well, virtually everyone. Virtually everyone. I mean, you, you cannot begin. I mean, I've been on thousands of coaching calls. I've spoken at tons of events. Like it's ridiculous how, like I'll give you a perfect example, right? Like let's say somebody says well, you know actually I've literally had people try something and, and they say, oh, I've tried it, it doesn't work. And I say, well, how many times did you try it? And they'll literally say once. And I'll be like, so your expectation is that you try to do something that you never have done before and just because you have got some guidance, all of a sudden, you are supposed to fully and completely execute it on the very first try? The problem that you have is not anything technical or tactical. It is your emotions telling you to set that insane expectation. That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. And that's probably also holding you back in multiple categories of your life, literally permeating your life like a virus.
John Whiting: (29:44)
And here's the thing. They already knew that that's what they're really upset about. And when you remind them of that, it reminds them that they already knew that, but they're not demonstrating it. So ultimately, for example, if you're drunk and I'm like, Hey, Dan, don't be drunk. That's my advice. Right. It won't matter how. Hey, Dan, let's sober up now. Like, have you ever tried to tell a drunk person, like, all right, sober up now, like get your shit together. And they, they can't do it. Is it their fault? Eh, I mean, yeah, they got themselves drunk, but ultimately, like we're saying in so many words, like, wait, you're an idiot for not, you know, if you're not seeing this logic here,
Dan Henry: (30:29)
It's like, you're trying to reason with a drunk person,
John Whiting: (30:31)
Correct. You can't reason with a drunk person. So what's the solution. Is it reason harder?
Dan Henry: (30:36)
An IV.
John Whiting: (30:38)
An IV.
Dan Henry: (30:39)
See, that's what you do.
John Whiting: (30:40)
Exactly.
Dan Henry: (30:41)
Your stuff is the, the IV.
John Whiting: (30:43)
Correct.
Dan Henry: (30:44)
It's it's the thing that gets them.
John Whiting: (30:46)
I like that. I'm gonna use that analogy.
Dan Henry: (30:47)
Yeah, you should. Yeah. You know, I'm the IV you're drunk and I'm the IV, you know?
John Whiting: (30:52)
Use a different voice tone, but yeah.
Dan Henry: (30:54)
I mean, you could say you're the mental cocaine, cuz that'll, that'll wake you right up, but I probably wouldn't do that.
John Whiting: (30:59)
That's a, we'll circle back to that one.
Dan Henry: (31:01)
Yeah. That's yeah, that's, that's probably an audience mismatch, but the, the point is, is that, and, and I wanna, I wanna be clear, a lot of people associate mindset work, and this is important. They associate it only with things like confidence and fear. And those are, yes, those are very, very common, but there are other cancers out there, for instance, I've personally have not had in a while. You know, maybe early on in my career, a lot of fear, you know, like I, I lately the past four years of my life has generally been, you know, me taking more risk, then I probably should not less. And I think that may come because they, they may come from such abundance that, you know, when you're a, when, when you're pretty much poor your whole life and you deliver pizza for seven years, which is like a huge, and I'm still pissed off that I let that be that big of a chunk of my life.
Dan Henry: (32:01)
And then you have like tens of millions dollars. You get to a point where you're in such a state of abundance that, or at least I do where I might take risks that are, that could pay off this big. But a seasoned investor would probably be like, you know, you know, no. But it's worked out, like when I did the music video for Book and Close, you know, I had a few people tell me, they were like, you're gonna get all kinds of hate for this. People are gonna say, you're objectifying women. And I'm like, it's a parody from a movie. You idiots. Like, you know, like what, like who's gonna do that. Yeah. And then I was like, wait a minute, idiots will do that. And I don't want idiots to buy my stuff anyway. So then I was like, all right, it's fine.
Dan Henry: (32:49)
And then it blew up and we did $850,000 off of that ad on like something like 15 or $17,000 in, in advertising cost. It was ridiculous. You know? But what does hold me back personally, is things like anger, frustration. And I know it. Like, and I think a lot of entrepreneurs, especially those that have employees can appreciate this, or at least acknowledge, they, they see it in their life, but you have an employee, or maybe it's not even an employee, maybe somebody you've hired like outsourced and they do a bad job or at least not to your standards. But the thing is, is if they were to do it to your standards, they probably wouldn't be working for you. They would have their own thing. And some people don't want that. They don't want that life. It's a life, but to have to expect, cuz you're, you're pushing yourself to this insane degree, right?
Dan Henry: (33:51)
Like you're pushing yourself harder as an entrepreneur, you're pushing yourself harder than most people are willing to push themselves. So when you put that expectation onto an employee, you're basically saying, Hey, I'm a lunatic. I'm gonna push myself to this crazy degree that 99% of the population is not willing to do. I expect you, the employee part of that 99, to be lunatic with me. And they're looking at you, like you're a lunatic, you know? And then you're like, why can't you do this right. And it's like, because you're expecting them to be a lunatic because you're a lunatic. Right. And they don't wanna be a lunatic. If they were gonna be a lunatic, they'd probably go off and start their own business and be a lunatic. You know? So I think that's important that it's not just people who aren't afraid who do have confidence, but there's other things that can fuck you up as well in your business.
John Whiting: (34:43)
Oh yeah, totally. And for on that point specifically, like one of the things that okay. And I've used this analogy, I'll, I'll soften it slightly, but when we were at your penthouse a couple months ago or whatever, when you asked me about this, do you remember the analogy that I shared with you about the kid in the grocery store?
Dan Henry: (35:06)
We, we were, we okay. We were, we were eating some plants, but you'll have to remind me
John Whiting: (35:12)
So and, and this can go in the mental just I'll, I'll use the drunk analogy just to keep it congruent. So imagine everybody that it is on this planet for the most part to some degree is drunk, right? We're going around expecting them to be sober and they're not, and it's frustrating. Right? So ultimately we're going around saying you should be sober as I am. Now that also can come from a different kind of your own mental drunkenness. And now you've got two drunk people just arguing about nonsense.
Dan Henry: (35:46)
Because your expectations is making you drunk.
John Whiting: (35:47)
Right. And their expectation of you is that it's not gonna be that hard. And you're just like, you know, going back and forth with like two drunk idiots arguing on the front lawn and, you know, middle of Florida, right? But ultimately, you know, if you, if, if you at least understand logically that's like half the game of like, okay, I like what you just said, that, that argument that you just made, like definitely a prerequisite to working with people in general. Like, especially if you're a high-performer, like you just have a, like, there are some people that have more horsepower than others. And so you're driving around in, you know, the La Ferrari and wondering why the Camry is going slow. Well, it's not that it it's cuz it's a Camry.
Dan Henry: (36:29)
Right.
John Whiting: (36:29)
You know what I mean? Like, so you're expecting like, come on Camry, go. It's just like, well you hired a Camry and you're expecting to be a Ferrari, like that's on you. You know what I mean? Right.
Dan Henry: (36:41)
So, it comes about to ownership.
John Whiting: (36:43)
Oh, everything does, right. And so like the most empowering position you could possibly ever come from is I caused it all, literally everything, including all the things you're going like, wait a minute. Not that though. Yeah that too.
Dan Henry: (36:56)
But so what you're saying is even if you were to be able to make a logical argument, that it in fact was not your fault, bypassing that and taking ownership of it anyway, really is the secret to crazy amounts of success?
John Whiting: (37:10)
Correct.
Dan Henry: (37:11)
Yeah. I would agree with that.
John Whiting: (37:12)
100%
Dan Henry: (37:12)
I would agree with that. Have you read Extreme Ownership?
John Whiting: (37:14)
Yeah.
Dan Henry: (37:15)
Yeah. I think that's a great book. Lot of, lot of war stories, you know, I feel like that should be a movie. But so let me ask you this, you, you built a million dollar business when you did not come from, you know, like you didn't come from Harvard Business School or anything like that and,
Dan Henry: (37:36)
Two. Two seven figure
Dan Henry: (37:36)
Two seven figure businesses. Well, we came, we can't leave out the, that's one thing about entrepreneurs.
John Whiting: (37:41)
I don't have tens of millions of dollars yet, but you know,
Dan Henry: (37:43)
That's all right. I understand. Because like, when somebody like, so my dad, we have this, I have this running joke. My dad always says, he'll be like, ah, you know, I'm so proud that my son became a millionaire. I'd be like multimillionaire. You know, like don't leave out the multi baby. But, so, so let's go back to, you know, and I, we had this conversation again, off camera. And I know that there are certain aspects about this you don't want to share. So with whatever you want to fill in take me back, way back to when, you've, the journey that allowed you to discover this. And because I mean to sit there and come up, like what you're saying makes sense, right? What you're saying makes sense.
John Whiting: (38:31)
It's about time I said something that made sense.
Dan Henry: (38:33)
It clearly works. It has worked for you. It has worked for people you've worked with, clients that you've worked with. It works. But now that we know that it works, how did you even figure this out? Like, how did you, how, what happened that you even like, I mean, I know that what, what you teach, isn't just like being stoic. It's way, way, that's just like a, sort of like a sprinkle, but how did you come up with this? How did you learn this?
John Whiting: (39:01)
Yeah. And so it's not that I don't want to share certain aspects of it, it's that the individuals that have helped me along the way are preferred to remain anonymous and private and so on. So it's just out of, out of respect ultimately so. Brevity, I'm working on brevity here. So ultimately I started my entrepreneurial journey in 2011 after essentially I'll say failing as a pro-golfer to keep it simple and straight. Had put my whole life into golf.
Dan Henry: (39:33)
How do you, hold on let's let's, let's break this into chunks. How do you fail as a Pro Golfer?
John Whiting: (39:37)
So Pro Golf, here's the best analogy I got. Imagine the only way to actually make a living as an entrepreneur is you have to be on the Forbes list. If you're not on the Forbes list, you're basically broke and homeless as an entrepreneur. That's essentially how professional golf is. If you're not one of the elite, it's literally elite or nothing. And so there's probably about 25, probably about 20, 25,000 golfers on the planet that you could probably just plop into a PGA tour event of usually the fields are about 150, 160 guys, and they would have a shot at at least making the cut, if not winning the thing, there's only 125 spots on the PGA tour.
Dan Henry: (40:20)
So basically what you're saying is, and let me correct me if I'm wrong. If you're not on the PGA tour, you're shit?
John Whiting: (40:26)
You're basically not making a living.
Dan Henry: (40:29)
And as, as a pro golfer?
John Whiting: (40:30)
As a pro golfer.
Dan Henry: (40:31)
And if, I mean, I don't know how many golfers there are in the world, let alone pro golfers. But I would imagine there's tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands
John Whiting: (40:41)
That that could potentially play at that level talent wise, 20 to 25,000 globally.
Dan Henry: (40:48)
Okay. And out of that, 20 to 25,000, only 125 can make a living.
John Whiting: (40:56)
There's 125 on the PGA tour. There's about the same amount on the European tour. And then there's a couple, smaller tours that each have the same, but there's literally under 500 golfers that are making a really good living playing golf professionally. So those numbers are not the most favorable. Like, literally it's not like as an entrepreneur, like you can suck and be irrelevant and make millions of dollars relative to like Elon Musk. You know what I mean? So comparatively speaking entrepreneurship is a cakewalk compared to making these a,
Dan Henry: (41:32)
I mean, look at us, nobody knows who the hell we are and we make millions of dollars by the way, LA Croix. If you're looking for sponsor. Clinky clinky.
John Whiting: (41:39)
Yeah, how lame. So I I essentially, I had gotten to what I consider like the best that I'd ever gotten in my life and was still nowhere close. And I was just like shooting great numbers. And for those of you who understand golf, there was the last tournament that I ever played in. I shot six under par and missed the cut after two days. Now golf tournaments are four days. You play the first two, they make a cut from like 160 guys down to about 50 guys. If you miss the cut, you get zero checks. Okay.
Dan Henry: (42:15)
Geez. Brutal.
John Whiting: (42:16)
So, yeah. And so shooting six under, I was like, I played, well this week.
Dan Henry: (42:21)
It's not like baseball where you can get paid a million dollars to sell.
John Whiting: (42:24)
Oh there's no salaries. There's no salaries.
Dan Henry: (42:26)
Oh yeah, that's right. You don't get. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's true.
John Whiting: (42:29)
You have to basically raise money from investors to back you in this incredibly.
Dan Henry: (42:37)
It's basically gambling.
John Whiting: (42:38)
It's, exactly. So
Dan Henry: (42:39)
Like pool it's like, it's like being a professional pool player, but most of them make it off gambling not the tournaments.
John Whiting: (42:44)
Like the tours that I played on was basically organized gambling, cuz there's no like TV sponsors and. So you have a whole bunch of guys that are each paying $1500 or $2,000 to play in the event, you have 160 guys paid $2,000. This would be a larger event that I would play in. And this was, that would be like the best of the best under the PGA tour, essentially to keep it simple for all you guys that wanna nitpick my like Korn Ferry tour and all this other shit. That's not what I'm going for here. I'm trying to keep it for entrepreneurs who don't know shit about golf.
Dan Henry: (43:14)
Well, people, people that nitpick are too busy nitpicking, not doing big shit, so.
John Whiting: (43:18)
But ultimately like you pay, you pay two grand for an entry fee. So does everybody else. The purse is $320,000, 160 guys. After the first two days, they cut to the top, sometimes 50 to 70, depending on how they structured the tournament. So if you, the cut you've donated $2,000 to the pot and you've had to cover your own travel expenses, everything else. And by the way, you're playing for a living. So you are probably not doing something else. And if you are doing something else, you don't have enough time to hone your game, as well as the guys who have enough money backing them. And so you miss the cut. You've traveled that week, thousands of dollars, you've paid $2,000 just anywhere from a thousand, 2000, depending on the size of the event. But then, you know, winner gets probably let's say if that particular tournament might get 50 grand, second place, 25, third place, 12, fourth, place 10. It goes down very quickly. So let's say you're you make the cut and you finish 50th and you make a check of $950.
Dan Henry: (44:21)
But you spent three grand to get there.
John Whiting: (44:23)
And two grand to enter.
Dan Henry: (44:24)
Oh my gosh. So, you quickly realized this was not a long term.
John Whiting: (44:28)
I survived two and a half years and I got to the point to where, you know, and I dropped outta college to do it. My family wasn't super keen on that. And they were just basically like, whatever, go do your thing. But we're not gonna support you at all. You need to be in college and do the thing that we need you to do. And I'm like, fuck that. So I drop out and.
Dan Henry: (44:49)
Spoken like a true entrepreneur.
John Whiting: (44:51)
Yeah. And so I had kind of like, I went two and a half years without talking to my family. I was just like, if you don't wanna support my dream, like what kind support is that like, fuck you. It's where I was at the time. And so I was kind of like off on my own doing this thing and I was gonna make it. And I had burned every bridge, I'd burned all my boats. I had burned everything to the ground pretty much. And it just got to a point where I kind of had this realization. I had gone through, you know, all of the resources that I had. Missed this one cut after playing the best that I thought. And I was pretty much hitting the darkest point that I had ever gotten to. Like I had just put everything into it. And I was just like, I don't, I don't know what my options are. Like I either miraculously get better tomorrow. Or I go get a job, which I'm just like, like, you know me, like picture me going and get a job. Like it's just not gonna happen. And I'm like, well, what then? Like, and then, so at the time I was just, I was really seriously considering checking out and it got,
Dan Henry: (45:59)
What do you mean checking out?
John Whiting: (46:01)
Offing myself.
Dan Henry: (46:03)
That's heavy.
John Whiting: (46:04)
Yeah. And it was just where I was at the time. And, and the only, like when I say go get a job, I don't mean like go into corporate America and maybe make six figures. I was like, I don't know. I don't have a degree. I don't have any qualifications. This is how I was thinking at the time my resourcefulness was in my mental drunkenness was at an all time high and I was just like, I don't know, go work at Subway. And I'm just like that. I'd rather kill myself than work at subway.
Dan Henry: (46:33)
So, basically you were like, you took, give me liberty or give me death to a whole new level.
John Whiting: (46:37)
Oh yeah. And and at the time I had like, I didn't know shit about shit about shit. Aside from the fact that I just like, I don't know what I was just sitting there. Like, I don't know what to do. And that's what essentially. And I had a, one of my sponsors and slash mentors, if you wanna call it that at the time, I presented him with my quandary and I said, so I have see it as I have three options and they all suck, like, what do you, what do I do, man? And he is like, well, I don't know what's best for you only, you know, what's best for you and whatever you decide to do, I'll fully support. And I'm like, okay. And at the time, like when I tell the story, people were like, he said what? He supported that? I'm just like, at the time, like, based on how our relationship was and where I was, I was just like, yeah, that makes sense. Like, what are you gonna tell me to do? I don't know.
Dan Henry: (47:25)
It reminds me of that commercial. Have you seen it where the girls like, you know, I just, nothing makes me happy and I'm so depressed. And so I asked my dad what to do, or my dad told me and he goes, just smile more. And she's like, and it's like, want real advice or something, you know?
John Whiting: (47:42)
Solid. Yeah. So anyway, I took that and I was like, well, that was kinda like the nail in the coffin with that particular relationship, I saw that like, he has no idea what to tell me. I don't have any idea what to tell me. And so either,
Dan Henry: (47:57)
I mean, to be fair, that's a pretty heavy, heavy thing.
John Whiting: (48:00)
I know, yeah. Yeah, nobody said this one, this one was light.
Dan Henry: (48:03)
Yeah. Somebody asked me that. I would, I'm, I don't know, man. I wouldn't want to touch that one with a 10 foot pole, unless I like really knew the person. You know?
John Whiting: (48:14)
Yeah. I mean, and so, you know, in retrospect that's honestly the, some of the most, probably the most important words that have been spoken to me in this lifetime. Just because it's what caused me to like, all right, I gotta figure this out.
Dan Henry: (48:33)
Unless he said that to you on purpose, you ever thought about that? Almost like reverse psychology?
John Whiting: (48:40)
He didn't.
Dan Henry: (48:41)
Okay. Well, it sounds like you're pretty confident on that.
John Whiting: (48:44)
I'm pretty confident that he didn't. Yeah based on the, the, that followed there after and so on, but regardless. So that's what caused me to start like searching for like, well, instead of lit, instead of going and killing myself, I was like, well, before we do that, let's just see if there's another way of doing things. And I started just Googling, like how to fix my life, you know? Like, and that's what led me to just, that was the beginning of, I'll say my personal development journey, but I, that I, and I jumped in with both feet on just like literally everything that you've probably ever heard of personal development wise. I've not only dabbled in it. I've drank the Kool-Aid, mixed it with other Kool-Aid. Bathed in that Kool-Aid and brushed my teeth with it. Like I was all in.
Dan Henry: (49:34)
Injected it. Put an IV of that in there. Yeah. So you did, you did all the events, all the seminars, you went to all of the, the group outings.
John Whiting: (49:44)
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And you know, the saying of, you know, you gotta go find a mentor and work for them and learn from them and it's gonna be your fastest way to, you know, accelerate your success and whatever. So boy did I. So at different events that I would go to I'd deliberately go like, who is the, like the richest dude that I could go work for and whatever. And I just like networked around. Long story short over the following six years, literally six different states, six different companies, six different opportunities, if you want to call it that. And bottom line went into all these like, Ooh, this is gonna be great. I'm gonna learn how to do everything perfectly. Cuz I got in with this dude. And I very quickly realized in all of those that they had no idea what they were doing. And that pissed me off cuz I was like, damn it. I moved across the country. Like I literally lived in, moved to six different states because of who I met. I'm like, whatever, I'll do, whatever it takes.
Dan Henry: (50:44)
How many times did you have to hug people that didn't know and jump up and down and clap?
John Whiting: (50:48)
Too many. Too many.
Dan Henry: (50:50)
That didn't help you?
John Whiting: (50:51)
Unfortunately, no.
Dan Henry: (50:52)
Oh my gosh, really?
John Whiting: (50:54)
I played full out. And so I, after six years of like, okay, I'm a persistent. Like I, at some point I feel like I'm doing all the things that these books are saying to do, but I've still like, I literally didn't make more than honestly, probably like $18,000 in a year doing this.
Dan Henry: (51:15)
Dude, I know, I know school teachers that make more than that.
John Whiting: (51:18)
No shit. You can sense the frustration that I was feeling at the time, right? And so I'm just like, I'm literally I've read all the books. Like I, I literally read a couple hundred books, went to every seminar, like I just.
Dan Henry: (51:30)
Personal development books?
John Whiting: (51:31)
Yeah. And just like was doing the affirmations, doing the meditating. And doing the routines, and the wake up at 4:00 AM, and the green drink and the, like you name it. Like I, everything that I could get my hands on. And I'm just like, there's still something like, it's clearly something's wrong. Like I shouldn't like I'm I consider myself a relatively intelligent individual, I even did back then. And I'm just like, I still suck. Like why am I still sucking? So I got introduced in this series of introductions in these networking little pods that I got in. I got introduced to a guy, who introduced me to a guy, who introduced me to a guy who, just picture Yoda in the swamp in Star Wars, right? Off grid.
Dan Henry: (52:14)
Super short and green.
John Whiting: (52:15)
Super short and green. Right? Exactly. 8,000 years old, whatever.
Dan Henry: (52:20)
Kind of has a attitude, but in a comedic type of way.
John Whiting: (52:26)
So I get introduced this dude and I basically tell him the story that I'm telling you. And he is like, Hmm, I understand. I might share something with you that might be helpful. So he essentially shares with me an entirely different model of how the mind works and essentially how to unfuck it. And I'm like, if there's a way to unfuck it, like, if there's anybody is the poster child of needs unfucking, it's me cuz now not only did I have like this shit that I was carrying, but now it's kind of like, I use this example. I had a mental alcohol addiction we'll call it, right? Not an actual alcohol addiction, but I was, you know, pretty down.
Dan Henry: (53:06)
It sounds like you were more than, more than fucked. You were like double fucked.
John Whiting: (53:09)
I was double fucked. Yeah, we'll get you whiteboard out. You can draw it for us.
Dan Henry: (53:16)
That's a little Easter egg for anyone who's following for a length of time.
John Whiting: (53:21)
No pun intended on the length of time. So essentially I was pretty down, mentally drunk to the max. And so what I started understanding is all of this, you know, oh, I gotta be positive. Wanna be more positive, gotta be, do the positive thing. Think positive, be positive, talk positive, blah, blah, blah. And so it's essentially when you're actually, have you ever tried to talk yourself out of being drunk when you're wasted? Just be like, all right, hold it together. You got this, just you're sober. We're sober now it's gonna be okay. You know, like have you ever been that drunk?
Dan Henry: (53:56)
Yeah.
John Whiting: (53:57)
Or seen anybody that drunk?
Dan Henry: (53:59)
Yeah. Well I've own two bars. So yes multiple times, which is one of the leading causes of why I switch to marijuana.
John Whiting: (54:06)
Perfect. [Inaudible] first kids. So I essentially it's the feeling that I was experiencing is it's kind of like, I know I'm drunk, but here I am. The advice that I'm being given is if you tell yourself you're not drunk for long enough and hard enough with enough emotion, you will be sober. I did that for six years and I was still drunk and now I was a lying drunk. And I'm I felt it like, and especially like you go to some of these events that are very uppity you see people that are just like, you ever met the person that's like, oh, hi isn't it amazing. Aren't you fantastic? Things are wonderful. Oh, I'm so grateful. Like it just,
Dan Henry: (54:50)
Yeah, I kind, I kind of wanna like watch that person trip and fall into like a bed of spikes and then film it in slow motion and watch it over again. Yeah. That, not my favorite person.
John Whiting: (55:02)
And later he'll tell you how he really feels.
Dan Henry: (55:04)
I just like, that's just too intense for me like.
John Whiting: (55:08)
Well, so, you know, so the, so it essentially, I was just, I was feeling like, I, I knew I couldn't go there. I'm just like, I don't, that, I can't like that doesn't make sense to me. That seemed, that feels fucked up. So, but what I started to see is like all of the traditional stuff is like trying to a balance out an alcohol addiction with a cocaine addiction and kind of hopefully find a medium, a mid balance. And I'm like, well, that doesn't seem that sustainable. And most of these people don't actually authentically seem not only happy, but like real.
Dan Henry: (55:44)
Yeah. I, I, no, see that's the thing is I've been, I've been to a lot of these events, right? And, and I'm gonna say this, and I know I'm gonna get a lot of heat for this.
John Whiting: (55:50)
Let's go. Viral clip coming up.
Dan Henry: (55:52)
So here's the thing I have never, and I have been at the table. I'm fortunate enough cuz you know, when, when you make millions of dollars and you make waves, you get to sit at the table with other people that make waves. It's just like a thing, they're just like, oh, come on over. But if you haven't done that, they're like, who are you? But when you've done it, you just get access. And I've sat at the table, literally dinner tables with dozens of eight and even nine figure entrepreneurs, and just thought leaders and people who just have done awesome things. And I've never once, ever once heard a single person say the secret to my success was daily affirmations. Or, or pumping myself up. I've never, ever heard that. Most of the time actually all the time, it is mindset. It is mental game related, but it's not in the way that you would think. It's not in the, uuuuggghhhh
Dan Henry: (56:48)
You know, like superficial BS, you know hypee stuff. It's more, it's stuff you don't hear. You know, it's stuff that you, you don't see on TV, you don't see at events and it's, it's just this whole like writing down what you're grateful for. Like I don't need to write down what I'm grateful for. I know it because I have a brain that fires neurons from one side to the other. And I, and I understand you write something down, you retain it. It sinks in and all that. But I just, these to me, these seems like parlor tricks to me. They seem like like exercises and activities and parlor tricks. Because how many people do that? I write down my daily affirmations every day. Okay. Well what, what has that done for you? Like deep down, ask yourself. And you know what? It probably has helped a lot of people, but if you have huge dreams and you wanna accomplish big things, yeah that may help, but that's not gonna be the thing that actually moves the needle. And actually makes it happen. It may help. It may give you comfort, but it's not gonna be the trigger.
John Whiting: (57:53)
Well, and it's, it's, it's in, here's the thing. It's like I'm, if you write down, I'm sober and I'm so happy and grateful now that I'm sober while you're taking shots of whiskey over here, that's what's happening.
Dan Henry: (58:06)
Mental whiskey.
John Whiting: (58:06)
Mental, well let's,
Dan Henry: (58:08)
Well, either one,
John Whiting: (58:09)
Either one. Either one's fucked. So ultimately what, what changed the game for me is when I was introduced to a, a different concept of essentially how the mind works and this in, it was shared much differently, but he's like, Hey, you're mentally drunk. We gotta sober that up. I'm like, I feel mentally drunk. Like how do I do it? So he ultimately took me through a series of essentially frameworks and processes to understand not only what was actually happening, but also how to essentially, I'll just say, neutralize to better and just like, get rid of the mental drunkenness. Kind of like as if you were going to like a drug rehab program, they go through and they sober your body up of the toxins and you sober up, like there's no other way around it.
John Whiting: (59:00)
You gotta go through the to sober up. So I essentially worked with, I, I moved yet again. And I'm like, whatever it takes, dude, like, and he's a, he's a, essentially he works with like, I think five or six multi-multimillionaires and actually a couple billionaires. And he's kind of like, I'll just say like, they're private Yoda, he's off grid. He doesn't even like, he uses a different name than his actual real name for a number of different reasons. That's a different story. And so I'm just like, dude, like what would I have to do to like work with you? Like, I feel like what you're sharing with me is the first thing in my entire life that has ever made any sense. And if I don't do whatever I have to, to like do what it is that you just shared with me, like, I don't know that I'm gonna make it basically.
John Whiting: (59:51)
And so we worked out an arrangement and I that's when I kind of started a forey into a digital marketing type world and was a part of one of these other, the, the last of the six people that I moved to work for was still kind of dabbling around there doing my best to add as much value as I possibly can. And, and, you know, ultimately my income kind of started changing slightly. But after I worked with this guy for four days, a week, six hours a day for two years, pretty much with no breaks. And the best thing I ever did in my life. I'm the only person that I know that would even come close to actually being insane enough to do that.
Dan Henry: (01:00:36)
And you, are you talking about, just to be clear, are you talking about the guy that you met that shared this thing with you?
John Whiting: (01:00:40)
Correct.
Dan Henry: (01:00:41)
Okay. Got it.
John Whiting: (01:00:41)
Yes. Yeah. And I basically did whatever I had to, to exchange with him to work with me essentially. And as you know, as with anything good that you've learned, you're just like, I want more, I want more, I want more, I wanna understand this more. I wanna master this. I wanna understand this more. This is like the it. And so coming out of that is when I, I kind of just, when I start kind of was wrapping up my time with him in person we're still in touch. But wrapping up my time with him in person is when I started, I'm like, all right, this one company that I'm working with, like it's not gonna work out long term. And just like everybody and their dog in 2015 and 16, but Tai Lopez is SMMA thing.
John Whiting: (01:01:24)
And I'm like, all right, I could see myself doing that agency thing. And so I like religiously, like started going through that and I'm like, I think I could do something. And so I literally, long story short, eight within the next 18 months built a multiple seven-figure eight agency. We had 400 monthly recurring clients. We had a team of 24 and one of those clients said Hey, I really like what you're doing. And we're actually looking to add an agency to our portfolio. Would you be interested in selling? And I said, yes, I think I would. And so in fall of 2000 we made a deal. I was excited that took about eight months off. And I said, you know, what do I, what do I want to do now? I don't want to. And I had sold.
John Whiting: (01:02:15)
I had just like you, you know, I had taught, you know, how we generate leads and how to close 'em and all the howtos, howtos, howtos, howtos. And I sold like 3000 programs on my lead gen program. And, but I was just like, platforms change every five minutes. I'm like, I don't care enough to keep up with the LinkedIn algorithm anymore. I just don't wanna spend my time on that. That's just not what I wanna do. And so I was like, you know, what would I let, what would I do if I had a billion dollars? I'm like, I've never shared what it is that I went through.
Dan Henry: (01:02:48)
Now, when you say, what would you do if you had a billion dollars, you mean, what would you do if you didn't need money? And you did it because it was what you wanted to do, what you wanted to share.
John Whiting: (01:02:58)
That's right. You that's right. And so I was like, you know, I've never shared what I went through. The challenges, what I went through was all intensive, one on one, very not scalable. And so I, I was like, but, you know, I, I think I'm a smart enough guy. I know enough about, you know, marketing and programs and sales at this point to probably get something to a point to where it could be scalable and still as it, maybe not totally as effective as I went through, but still incredibly impactful. And I took about three months and just sat outside by my pool and just kind of like messed around with concepts and ideas. And basically six months later, I launched a beta of what was called Bulletproof Entrepreneur. And I basically almost had not a whole lot built, but I knew what I was gonna build.
John Whiting: (01:03:53)
And I was pretty sure it was gonna be pretty banger. And that was 14 months ago. Long story short, we've taken 210 entrepreneurs now through this process where we essentially, it's a removal process of essentially sobering up the mind. So you can do the shit that you know you should be doing. And when I, when I speak, I say, how many of you guys know you have the next level within you? And you're just trying to get it out. Everybody's hand goes up exactly. You don't need to step into a new version of yourself or invent yourself. You're already it.
Dan Henry: (01:04:24)
You just gotta unlock it.
John Whiting: (01:04:25)
You just gotta sober your ass up. And so I we've taken 210, something like that, entrepreneurs through this process. And we track all of our statistics. It's very, very trackable, measurable, practical. We don't tell you to sit there and breathe and visualize and all that. And if that works for you, by the way, keep doing it. I have nothing against it. I'm all for it if it works for you, do it. But we track every single statistic in the entire thing. And long story short there's, we track a number of different things, but the two that really stick out the most is on average average of 47% decrease in fear and 82% increase in focus and an average of a 78% increase in revenue just by getting rid of mental shit, just by sobering up the mind. And we haven't had one single refund request, one single support ticket, one single charge back. We haven't had any of that in 14 months. And we've done about one and a half million in sales in the first 14 months. Last couple months have been over 200 a month, so we're trending. And the, so we're
Dan Henry: (01:05:35)
Yeah. Your last month was awesome.
John Whiting: (01:05:38)
Yeah.We did two, I think just about 260.
Dan Henry: (01:05:42)
So, so let's, let's, let's recap this, right? So let me give a recap and you tell me if I'm on point here. So you were mentally just messed up. You had a lot of negative emotions. You considered killing yourself. Like you were in a bad mental spot. You tried all the personal development programs out there, and none of them worked and they all felt very superficial and like putting a bandaid on. You then met this, met this guy who I might have missed where you met him or how you met him.
John Whiting: (01:06:19)
It was just, we'll just say through networking, through networking. Yeah. Okay. I, I was just sharing, you know, with some guy by trials and tribulations, he was like, you need to meet this dude.
Dan Henry: (01:06:28)
Oh. So this was like a referral, got it. Okay. So you met, so you met this guy and I know more about what you're than what you're sharing now. So I'll just recap what you say it, but you know, you, you met this guy, he, he shared a different perspective with you on how the mind works. You were so captivated with it that you do whatever you could to actually work with this person for an extended period of time, very closely. And you dedicated your life that sec, of your section of your life to it. Then when you were done, you went off and you much did the same stuff you did before, but now you did it at an incredibly higher and more effective rate. You made more money than you ever had. And then you sold, you sold the company.
Dan Henry: (01:07:13)
So now you had even more money and you realized that you wanted to do something that more impactful. That really meant a lot to you. So you wrapped up sort of what you had learned in this experience with this, with this person, and you turned it into an educational or, or consulting program. And you've made now, like last month, you've done over $260,000 with, at that program. And you have incredible results. You have incredible, you know, student case studies and all that jazz. And it all really came from just a different perspective on how you think.
John Whiting: (01:07:57)
Correct.
Dan Henry: (01:07:57)
Now isn't that in credible that no huge change in tactics or strategy, but just the clearing of the mind and, and the improvement of the mental game, not the strategy game, not the tactical game. But those are important, you know, but the improvement of the mental game led you to just radically changing your life and just turning everything around.
John Whiting: (01:08:25)
Accurate.
Dan Henry: (01:08:25)
Yeah. That's an incredible story. I'd love to dive more into, you know, the guru that you met or whatever you want to call 'em. But I know that there's aspects of that,
John Whiting: (01:08:36)
There's aspects of it, but I'm not, I'm not it's not that I don't wanna share. It's just that he's asked me specifically for reasons that those reasons why he asked me that I'd rather not share. But yeah.
Dan Henry: (01:08:51)
So do, and, and what was, let me just, cause I can hear in my head, I can hear people with their little objections. I've seen it firsthand. So like, I, I don't have any objections to this. I've seen I've, you know, and, and I've gone through your stuff and it's freaking amazing, but what, besides just the fact that when this person explained this to you, and it made sense. Besides that, what about that person made you feel like this was it, this, this is the real, real way to think about things?
John Whiting: (01:09:25)
You know, it's kind of like you drinking in that LA Croix. Why does it make sense to just take it with your right hand and drink it?
Dan Henry: (01:09:34)
Cause I don't wanna hit the microphone over here.
John Whiting: (01:09:36)
Okay. Why does it make sense to use either of your hands and just drink it the way you did? Why not go like this?
Dan Henry: (01:09:43)
Well, cuz that would look silly. Probably cuz I'm right hand dominant and this is the most efficient way to, to drink it.
John Whiting: (01:09:50)
Just cuz it would look silly or is that the best way to get that Le Croix?
Dan Henry: (01:09:55)
Well, yeah I don't wanna. Yeah. If I try to lean over and drink it outta my mouth, I'll spill it all over the table.
John Whiting: (01:09:59)
Right. Right, exactly. So when you just, this just makes sense.
Dan Henry: (01:10:05)
Right.
John Whiting: (01:10:05)
Why does it make sense?
Dan Henry: (01:10:08)
Cause it's obvious.
John Whiting: (01:10:10)
There you go.
Dan Henry: (01:10:11)
Okay. So you didn't, you didn't take, you didn't take any, so it made sense to you. But was there anything else that, that gave you sort of like that made you feel like what you were hearing was credible? Or was it just such pure unadulterated logic that it didn't matter?
John Whiting: (01:10:31)
If I tried to argue with you about your LaCroix drinking strategy, right, would you, if I said, Hey, how do you know that strategy is credible? What would you say?
Dan Henry: (01:10:44)
I'd say well, if I tried to do it any other way, you know, I can't think of another way and I, that I could do it, which wouldn't create a mess. Yeah. That's good. That's good. But the point is that it worked. The point is that, that, and, and I know a little bit more about the story of where it came from, but I get it.
John Whiting: (01:11:06)
Truth resonates. Truth resonates with people. Okay. And that's why back to our earlier conversation about like our job is to remind you of what you already know. You already know the truth, right? Every problem that anybody's ever brought to you, regardless if it was a mental problem, strategy, problem, tactic, problem, who cares. They already know the solution. What they're doing is they're, you can either play big games or small games. Most people in general, not just entrepreneurs, but most people play very small games. Small, for example, a small game being homeless guy, trying to find cheeseburger in trash can and repeat that game twice a day for the rest of his life. That's a very small game. Elon Musk is trying to put people on Mars. Jeff Bezos is trying to deliver packages via drone on demand, big game.
Dan Henry: (01:12:03)
Right.
John Whiting: (01:12:03)
So if you, the bigger the game that you play, the less bothersome the small games become. So you are either defining your big game or where you're playing somebody else's small game. So if you define your own big game, all of the like Elon Musk, doesn't have to worry about where he is getting food. Not because he's a master at solving a food problem. It's because he's focused on much bigger things. And he's playing a bigger game. All of the small games become irrelevant and already taken care of. They're not worth toiling over. So everybody who and the homeless guy listening to this, probably not listening to this, he knows this. Everybody that is listening to this knows that to be a fact,
Dan Henry: (01:12:51)
I don't know, man, have you seen homeless people these days? They all have cell phones. They all have like,
John Whiting: (01:12:56)
Okay, good. So I hope you watched this learn how to think it's $7 a month for the love of God, scrape it together. Okay. So ultimately truth resonates with people and when you speak truth, everybody goes, yeah, that makes sense. So the more truth that you, as they say it, truth will set you free. The only thing that will you up is a lie. And so that's where like, like every relationship quarrel and any relationship, whether it's professional or intimate, doesn't really matter. Everybody knows that in order to make a relationship go well, is you be understanding, kind, considerate, communicate well, communicate often and help the other person meet their needs and allow them freedom to help, you know, like exchange.
Dan Henry: (01:13:42)
Yeah. Like just, but execution is, is, is way hard, harder than just acknowledgement.
John Whiting: (01:13:47)
So the problem isn't that people don't know what to do, but they, they basically come to you for example, for how to advice or me for how to, or anybody for how to advice, they already know how for the most part, the problem is they have this thing in their mind that is causing this drunk perception where they play this game of I'm going to play victim and play this little small game of, I can't figure it out. It's a small game.
Dan Henry: (01:14:14)
It is a game. And it's a game I see played constantly.
John Whiting: (01:14:17)
Correct.
Dan Henry: (01:14:17)
It's so hard. It's well it's I don't have time. The I don't have time thing gets me. Oh, I have kids. Congratulations. So does everybody else? Yeah. That does not make you unique, special in any way. It means that you're a human that, that bumps uglies and appropriates. That's not a thing that is, you know, like you, you don't get an excuse for that, you know? And I'm a parent, you know, I, I mean, I, I, I don't have five kids or anything. I'm sure that would be much more challenging, but I know millionaires that have five kids. And they still figure it out. And that's the thing is people oftentimes forget about the reward. Well, I don't have time to do this thing. That would make me millions of dollars.
Dan Henry: (01:14:54)
Well, that's why. People that deserve to create bestselling books, become famous actors, make millions of dollars. They are the people that found the time. It is not normal to be a millionaire. It is not, there's this massive, maybe you agree or disagree with this, but there's this massive, massive level of entitlement permeating the world. Especially the entrepreneur world where I cannot tell you the amount of time someone has come to me and said, well, I wanna make this a million dollar business, but I have some requests. I don't wanna work more than this time. I don't wanna do this. I, you know, I, I, I can't do this cuz I'm an introvert. I don't like being on camera. It's like, well, what can you do? You know like, cuz it ain't gonna be making a million dollars. You know, the people that deserve to make a million dollars are the people that do it anyway. The people that find the time, the people that take the excuses and just get rid of them and do it anyway. And that's why you deserve those things. If everybody deserved that well then it wouldn't be worth much.
John Whiting: (01:16:00)
Yep. So there's two, let me fill in two blanks there that ties that into a fully complete everything. How's that for a free preframe. Yeah. So ultimately when you say...
Dan Henry: (01:16:11)
Clearly anyone, kids can become a millionaire, even us illiterate assholes.
John Whiting: (01:16:17)
I swear I've made a sentence before. So ultimately you, you said something very interesting. You said they forget the reward. It's not that they've forgotten the reward. There's two parts to this. There's getting rid of your shit. Now you use this as you've heard me use the Ferrari example. So you're already awesome. Let's say you're already a Ferrari. Right? And per our previous mental drunk example, let's assume that like you have this Ferrari that, you know, Hey, you know, you got the next level in you. Yeah, I do. I'm just trying to get it out. I already know I'm a Ferrari. I could do this. All right, cool. What's keeping you from doing it cuz you're watching your Ferrari bobble down the highway at 35 miles an hour is because we got a bunch of engine gunk. There was a rat that built a nest in the engine, put regular gas in it, whatever.
John Whiting: (01:17:01)
There's nothing wrong with the Ferrari itself. We gotta get rid of the. Okay. And the Ferrari just becomes a Ferrari. What everybody else is trying to do is say, Hey, my Ferrari is going 35 down the highway and babbling, how do I get a turbo charger to make it go faster? And it's like, you don't need a turbo charger. You gotta get rid of the engine gunk.
Dan Henry: (01:17:20)
And you gotta put the right gas in.
John Whiting: (01:17:21)
And you gotta put the right gas in it. Okay. But now that that's, that's half of the puzzle cuz the Ferrari's not that fun with no place to drive it. Is it?
Dan Henry: (01:17:29)
No, not at all.
John Whiting: (01:17:30)
Exactly.
Dan Henry: (01:17:30)
I've had a Lamborghini and I've tried to drive it down here and that's why I sold it. There's nowhere to drive it.
John Whiting: (01:17:35)
So we gotta give it a destination. But if I asked you to pull out your iPhone and put in someplace nice, would it be able to navigate?
Dan Henry: (01:17:42)
No. You'd have to put in an exact location.
John Whiting: (01:17:44)
Exact location. Even if you put in Los Angeles, it's going to navigate to, it's gonna choose a coordinate, an exact latitude and longitude somewhere in LA that it's going to navigate too. So it has to be a specific location, but that's not all cuz I could just say, well, that's great. Here's a specific location. Dan it's 123 Main Street at the gas station in Bum Fuck, Iowa. That's specific. You want to go there? No, right? So it has to be a specific destination that you have a reason for wanting to go there. So there's that part. So we gotta define where we want to go and why we want to go there specifically to make it a compelling destination. So that's when I say build your or create your big game. That's what I'm talking about. So you're either creating a big game for yourself or you're going to be reactively playing somebody else's small game.
John Whiting: (01:18:37)
So once you get your Ferrari cleaned up, you're not gonna play your big game or get to your big destination without a clean Ferrari. We gotta have that. But we also have to have a very specific destination, a very specific reason why we want to go to that destination. And now all of a sudden, when you plug that destination to your iPhone, it reverse engineers, all the turn by turn directions and you can pull outta your driveway and enjoy the drive. Right? So ultimately it's not that they've forgotten the reward it's they haven't gotten clear. They say, I wanna build a million dollar business. What does that mean? You wanna do exactly precisely $1 million in gross cash collected, net cash collected, is it gross revenue? Is it like what is a million dollar? That's very vague destination.
Dan Henry: (01:19:16)
Well, well, and that that's an incredibly good point because most people don't define what that is.
John Whiting: (01:19:21)
Which is why most people can't navigate.
Dan Henry: (01:19:25)
But in, in general, what I'm, what, what I, what I meant to say was they forget, whatever reward is, they forget how rare it is and how it is not something that is deserved to everyone and how it is. Let's just, let's just call it becoming independent. Let's make it general. Let's call it becoming independently, over abundantly wealthy. Or maybe it's not even money. Maybe it's fame. Maybe it's a sports, you know, winning a sports thing, whatever it is. Right? The, you know, the sacrifice like the reason why those things are so amazing to have and why so few people have them is because so few people are willing to do the things required to get them. And that's why they're special. If it was easy to get them, they wouldn't be special. And honestly nobody would want them. So this expectation that whether it be an entrepreneur or anything that you come in and you say, well, I want this reward. I want this incredibly rare thing. But I'm not willing to do the rare things to get it and is nuts.
John Whiting: (01:20:35)
Yep. And there's a, so that was, remember I said, there's two parts to this. This is the second. So there's a difference between want and intention. There's a difference between want and intention want by definition means I don't have it. Right? So if I put out, I don't have it, I'm going to get back, I don't have it. Think of it about it this way. You've own two bars. I'm sure you've seen a lot of guys go into bars and really want to pick up chicks.
Dan Henry: (01:21:03)
Yeah. Yeah. Very regularly.
John Whiting: (01:21:04)
Very regularly. Are they successful for the most part? The guys who really are the really nice guys who come over and just be like, you know, just say the awkward, stupid shit cuz they want it so bad and they don't want to fuck it up?
Dan Henry: (01:21:15)
This 1:45 AM. 15 minutes before closing it's slightly higher.
John Whiting: (01:21:21)
Right. As soon as the lights go up, everybody scrambles for the worst thing they can find. But, but ultimatly, in general, the guy who wants it, it moves away from him. Right?
Dan Henry: (01:21:33)
Right.
John Whiting: (01:21:33)
Just like if you really want to close a client, Right?
Dan Henry: (01:21:37)
Oh yeah. Because if, as soon as, and you're in a sales situation, as soon, as soon as somebody feels like you need them. Well, if they feel that you need them, then they're not going to buy because nobody wants to be a part of something where they're needed. They wanna be a part of something where it's almost like exclusive to get into.
John Whiting: (01:21:56)
Right. So there's a difference between want and intention. Most 99.9% of entrepreneurs want to be successful. 1% of entrepreneurs intend to be success. And here's how, you know, the people who intend to be successful do the things. Period.
Dan Henry: (01:22:16)
Absolutely. Well, you know, I it's it's I always say, and I heard this originally from my, my good friend Myron. I love this, this analogy is that human beings, right? We want to have things. We wanna have success. We wanna have a nice car. We're gonna have a nice house. We wanna have a successful business, but we are not called human havings we're called human beings. And in order to have those things, you must become the person that can make them happen, become the person that deserves them. And most people just want to have things they're not willing to become the person that can make them happen. And that is the biggest like, like once you have, that was, that was, see, that was my problem. When I, I, when I delivered pizza for seven years, I would just sit there like an asshole and be like, I wanna have a million dollars man.
Dan Henry: (01:23:11)
Like yeah. Like it'd be freaking great. Yeah. And I never ever actually sat down and got honest with myself and said, well, hold on a second. You know, I get up in the morning. I watch stupid cartoons. This is actually funny, cuz this is what I do now. But you know, I get up, I watch, I watch dumb cartoons, like a total stoner idiot. I go and I don't work out. I eat crap food. I go to work. I come home, I drink, I get drunk. I wake up the next morning feeling terrible. I don't read books. I don't do any of those things. Right? And then I started thinking about what people who were successful, what habits they had, what kind of people they were. And I remember when I was just starting to like kind of get into being mildly, like tiny successful, I'm talking like making like 500 bucks without a boss kind of thing.
Dan Henry: (01:24:11)
I was actually doing I don't know if you even know this or not, but I was doing airbrush tattoos. Do you know what those are? Yeah. And so I get this, this, I buy this cart, I invest all my money. And this was when my mindset was starting to like, you know, invest in yourself. I invested a few grand into this cart that you, you know, it had like stencils and a rolling cart. You could do airbrush tattoos. And that was a wild time in my life cuz I did everything from children's birthday parties to going down to Ybor City and body painting, naked women. So they could dance on a bar with a river or that ran through the bar. It was actually quite disgusting when you really thought about it. But like I would not wanna drink.
John Whiting: (01:24:51)
So it was at least more entertaining than the kid's birthday.
Dan Henry: (01:24:53)
Yeah. It just, I just didn't think that it would meet health code. It was just, you know, but so, so I remember I went, I got hired one time to go to this wealthy families, private like birthday party. And I recall that they like, this was just like a birthday party and they hired like caterers and they had people come in and make like L E D light. Like it was like this, some crap you'd see a Disney world, you know?
John Whiting: (01:25:23)
And, but they didn't have strippers there.
Dan Henry: (01:25:25)
No, there were no strippers.
John Whiting: (01:25:27)
Just wanna make sure.
Dan Henry: (01:25:27)
No, this was a different gig.
John Whiting: (01:25:29)
Okay.
Dan Henry: (01:25:30)
Hey man, I had to eat, you know.
John Whiting: (01:25:31)
I'm just trying to keep up.
Dan Henry: (01:25:32)
Yeah. So, so so, and they weren't strippers, they were just women that liked to dance naked with body paint.
John Whiting: (01:25:40)
But they didn't have any of those at the kids birthday?
Dan Henry: (01:25:42)
No. No, they did not. Not that I saw. I mean maybe they were off duty. I don't know. But but so, so I'm sitting there, right? And I'm looking around, I'm looking at these nice cars. I'm looking at these nice houses and I'm thinking they probably dropped 50 grand on this birthday party for their kid. And it just blew my fricking mind. Right? And I remember I started paying attention. I started paying attention to the way these people walked, the way they talked. I started looking at their house. I started looking at everything around me and I began to notice things that were very different than how I lived my life and how the people in my circle lived their lives. I noticed that there were books, right. There were very specific books. And I remember how, when I would do other parties for wealthy families, I'd see the same fricking books.
Dan Henry: (01:26:30)
I'd see the same behaviors. I'd see the same things. I'd, I'd see very similar things. And I began to like understand that it's not, that people become successful. It's that people become a different person and that person deserves to be successful. And that's when I started like making changes in the way that I decided to live my life. Instead of watching cartoons, I'd listen to an audio book. Instead of going out and getting drunk, I'd stay up and read blogs and read books. And, and I just started becoming a different person. And when I became a different person, that's when different things started to happen. And a lot of people don't really realize this. They wanna stay the same person, but they wanna have things that somebody else deserves. And this is a hard thing to swallow. But at that point in my life, I did not deserve to have anything that I have now.
Dan Henry: (01:27:24)
I did not deserve to have nice watches, nice cars, a penthouse. I didn't deserve any of that. It was only when I decided to become the person. And, and here's an easy way you can do this, right? Think of a version of yourself five years from now, 10 years from now, that is successful. That has all the things you want. And then get honest with yourself and ask yourself. Am I that person now, how does that person behave? What does that person do differently than what I do now? And if you're honest with yourself, you should see a stark difference between the two people. And then all you really have to do is start becoming that person that you've put in your mind. But you gotta understand, you have to study people who are successful. You have to understand how they think, what they do, what their behaviors are. And that's the biggest, hard, horse size pill pill that you have to swallow is that it's not about having things. It's about becoming somebody that deserves those things.
John Whiting: (01:28:23)
What I would well said, I'm gonna put a spin on it though. That at least here's just in, in my box of at least the frameworks that I teach and whatnot, I would argue that that future uber mega awesome, perfect, successful version of yourself is actually the real you.
Dan Henry: (01:28:40)
Oh, I would agree with that.
John Whiting: (01:28:41)
And so instead...
Dan Henry: (01:28:42)
It's your highest potential.
John Whiting: (01:28:43)
Right. But I, what I'm saying is, is instead becoming, I've noticed with people and I noticed with myself of like step into this new version of yourself. Well, that's like I have to become a different person? That's hard being more of myself. That's easier. So that's like ultimately the sober version of yourself, essentially, for the drunk sober analogy, all you're explaining is, well, for most of my life, I was mentally drunk and I've just gradually sobered up becoming my more, just authentic, genuine the real me.
Dan Henry: (01:29:17)
Well, I mean, that's like an alcoholic that has been an alcoholic for a decade and then they become sober. You could argue that they became a different person or you could argue that they became the person they were the whole time. That's just semantics.
John Whiting: (01:29:31)
It is semantics. Just the idea is.
Dan Henry: (01:29:33)
Yeah. The idea yours sounds a lot better though, because it doesn't sound so scary.
John Whiting: (01:29:37)
Well, here's the, and here's the reason is because the, the real, like there, the additive is the alcohol. Right? So naturally the real natural, you doesn't have alcohol in you. Right?
Dan Henry: (01:29:51)
You're not emotionally driven.
John Whiting: (01:29:54)
So, but just per your, per your alcoholic example, right. When you're saying, well, it's just semantics. It might be just semantics, but ultimately what's the real, genuine, authentic version? Well, you didn't start out coming out of the womb, sipping on some Jack Daniels. Right? So there was this external additive that added something that wasn't you.
Dan Henry: (01:30:17)
So like you're, you're basically saying like your environment, trauma, things that, that...
John Whiting: (01:30:22)
That's what causes you to essentially have this mental drunkenness. That's not the real you as much as I'm sure the stories as the alcoholic would say, I'm an alcoholic, I'm an alcoholic. Well, he might identify as that. It might be real to him, but the real truth is deep down he knows that that's a lie. Because he didn't start out that he come out of the womb and alcoholic. And so what happens is, is all of these other, I'll say traditional therapies and ideas and ideologies. This is where I kind of, I just have fundamental disagreements is where ultimately they're like, oh, alcoholism is genetic.
Dan Henry: (01:30:57)
No. Who said that?
John Whiting: (01:30:59)
Well, that's a, anything that they want to say, like as a behavior.
Dan Henry: (01:31:02)
So, if all of a sudden they outlawed alcohol and no more alcohol could ever be sold and didn't exist.
John Whiting: (01:31:08)
I know I'm not saying it's a valid argument. I'm saying I'm shittin on it.
Dan Henry: (01:31:12)
I mean, that's just dumb.
John Whiting: (01:31:13)
I know. Well, so my point is, is though is many people believe, things like that, that put them in a bucket of a preconceived, they literally are creating the small game. Deciding create the game of I'm an alcoholic because of these external reasons that I have no control over. They're the only one creating that game. And the real thing that's actually bothering them in their lives is they know they're lying. That's the ultimate upset that anybody actually has is, you know, that you're not taking responsibility, not acknowledging the truth and you're lying to yourself. That's the only upset that anybody actually really ever has is they know the thing that they're complaining about is complete and utter bullshit. And all they have to do is take responsibility for it and fix it. But they just they're instead of creating a big game, they're deciding to play a small game and stay in their little box.
John Whiting: (01:32:03)
And then what they do is they hire consultants like you and I, and they come in and they ask us, Hey, how do I get out of this and remind them of the truth. And then they get pissed off at us because we remind them of the truth and say, I can't cuz of these reasons. And they just stay in this perpetual little small game closed loop. Mainly because, well it's because of the two reasons is they have all this shit, they got the gunk in their engine and they have no idea where their actual destination is. And so of course, you're just gonna bobble around on this planet, a scattered mess. So you have to have those two things.
Dan Henry: (01:32:38)
So what, how you, how do you feel about the concept of, cuz I I've researched this and I've seen, I've done a lot of, you know, late night, deep down the rabbit hole, podcast and blog and YouTube journeys. And he, this is a concept, I forget the doctor, whoever it is. Oh no, it was Jordan Peterson. It was actually Jordan Peterson that said this. Yeah. Now that I remember that. Yeah. So he said that basically you have thousands of years of human evolution. Okay? And in this thousands of years of human evolution have multiple problems that have been solved. You have struggles that have been overcome. You have all kinds of stuff that has happened. And that this is imprinted like in our minds and in our brains throughout human history. Right? And so as people are born, the potential and the ability to problem solve and be basically an amazing person, right?
Dan Henry: (01:33:48)
It's it's, it's deep, deeply locked in everyone's brain. Basically saying that everyone through the simple process of human evolution has a very, very high potential, but we don't access it. And when you push yourself to certain limits or past limits, when you push yourself further than, you know, than you're comfortable and you get to points where you are not comfortable and you push yourself hard, harder, harder, harder, it unlocks these like the neurons, you know, fire and they form new neural pathways in your brain, sort of like working a muscle. And when you do, like, if you stay in your comfort zone, these new neural pathways do not form. But if you push yourself beyond your comfort zone zone, these neural pathways form and they access this evolutionary data that allows you to be a higher version of yourself. Basically be smarter, be more confident, be, have better critical thinking, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Dan Henry: (01:34:53)
And the reason why most people do not ever access this higher version of themselves is because they don't push themselves. And I will tell you that when I heard that it made a lot of sense to me because of the simple fact that when I was younger, I would consider myself kind of a dumbass. Literally I'm not even joking. Like, you know how like kids will grow up and they'll be kind of nerdy and you'll know that they're gonna be smart. And then later on they become millionaires. I was not that kid. I was the one that was like that dude's never gonna achieve anything. He's an idiot. And I just got to this point where I was continuously pushing myself to new limits and I literally feel like I got smarter. I literally feel like if I met myself when I was younger, oh my gosh, I would, I'd be like this, kid's an idiot. He's never gonna make it. You know, I would love to know your, your take on that. If you, if you feel that's accurate.
John Whiting: (01:35:51)
I would, again, what's true for somebody is true for that person. Right? So for you, it's a workable model. It's a workable thought process. It's a work, it's a thing that helped you. So it's absolutely valid because of that. That's how you know That's how, you know if something is true, if something is workable for you is if you actually see the actual physical universe, tangible result as a result of that thought process.
Dan Henry: (01:36:19)
Right. But I mean, from a practical level, right? What I mean, cuz this is, this is a very practical thing, you know? Neural pathways forming and, and
John Whiting: (01:36:32)
Well, so here's the, here's the thing. So which one do I wanna start with? So there are numerous cases y'all can Google this, of people that have partial brains, no brains in their skull that are fully conscious, fine, healthy people. And when you look at that and you talk about neuroscience and all this stuff, there's a reason why neuro there, I, I believe there's two, there's two universes. There's a physical universe and then there's a spiritual universe. You, when we talk about the real deep down, you, that's the, you know, the all powerful being, when I say how many you guys know, you have the next level in you, me, the real, the you that that identifies with it is the real you you're playing this physical universe game. That includes bodies and things that you navigate to create an effect and see growth and success and so on.
John Whiting: (01:37:30)
And so ultimately what happens is, is all, all these neuroscientists, the genius PhD, awesome. 20 year neuro scientist people are studying the physical universe to explain spiritual universe phenomena. They can't do it. So when they're studying, what is the nature of consciousness, this big mystery it's because you're studying the physical universe to explain the spiritual universe and you won't find, you won't find spiritual universe answers by studying a physical universe thing like a brain. A brain is the effect. You are the cause. So there's the argument that and this is actually testable. There's the argument that, okay cortisol fires, that causes you to feel stress, right? You've heard that. Well actually it's the, the mental image pictures that based on how the mind works, remind you of previous things that have caused you to go, oh, that's a bad thing we need to avoid that then trigger the cortisol.
John Whiting: (01:38:30)
The cortisol is a reaction to a spiritual universe phenomena. It's not the other way around. So what happens is, is that's why there's, they literally just keep trying to figure out how consciousness works and it's this big fat mystery to the actual neuroscience, physical universe, science community in everything that you've ever watched as a documentary on consciousness and brains and that by the end of it, they all end with, but it's still a mystery and there's still tons of questions that we have yet to un, you know, uncover. The reason is you're not gonna learn more about basketball by studying football. So you keep studying football to the, and drill into the each little of the football and figure out how the laces are made. And you're trying to answer basketball questions. And so they're studying the physical universe to explain the spiritual universe. And that's why they can't come to a conclusion is because they're studying essentially the wrong thing. And so it's kind of like blaming the car for the driver being drunk.
Dan Henry: (01:39:39)
That makes a lot of sense.
John Whiting: (01:39:40)
Right? So if the car crashes and the car's fine, the driver's drunk, so you can study the car all, you want to explain erratic driving, but it's the driver. So all of these things, these preconceived.
Dan Henry: (01:39:56)
Well, I'm sure in some cases you'll have a car that had some sort of issue,
John Whiting: (01:39:59)
Well, no shit. I'm saying...
Dan Henry: (01:40:01)
You know, people are gonna do that. They're gonna be like, well, wait a minute, I have a hormonal imbalance, da, da, da. And that does happen. You will have cars that have a faulty thing, wheel falls off.
John Whiting: (01:40:10)
But also it's also been proven that anything that is in the physical body is also then remedyable by intention. Like that's very proven that, you know, the guy like Joe Dispensa perfect example, super famous guy, but even he, he, he flops back and forth. He argues that, you know, and I'm not like, totally don't slam me in the comments. I'm not like a huge Joe Dispensa disciple. But my point is, is a lot of people are holding conflicting beliefs and they'll, they'll be saying, well if you, you know, visualize and intend for something, you can heal the body. But at the same time, they'll be saying, well, cortisol just fires and it fucks you up. Which one is it? It's the chicken and the egg, which is the cause and which is the effect. Right? So my point is assuming the car is fine, you can't explain a crashed car from a drunk driver by continually studying the car. You will come up with the conclusion of, and it's still a mystery to why all these cars are crashing. You know, like it, you can't.
Dan Henry: (01:41:21)
Always that disclaimer. Always, always.
John Whiting: (01:41:23)
So ultimately, you know, even let's just say it is true. Are you more empowered or less empowered by saying, I have this external force that I have no, no control over?
Dan Henry: (01:41:34)
Well, I will say that, you know, it, it's not something I consciously did. I didn't know that that was whether it's true or not. That was, I wasn't thinking like, Ooh, I gotta push myself so then I form new neural pathways. But when I heard it, I thought, you know, like you said, if it makes sense, it makes sense. And, and when I heard it, I was like, well, how else could you explain the fact that I literally feel like I got smarter? I literally feel like I, you know, is that
John Whiting: (01:42:02)
Intention.
Dan Henry: (01:42:04)
Well, sure but at the same time, like if you were to put it on a practical, scientific biological level I've never heard an explanation that would fit. That would make sense besides that one, that one made the most sense to me. And I'm completely open to hearing another explanation at a later time that maybe makes more sense. But the idea that, you know, we have done things throughout history and those, that DNA or whatever is in us. And it's also nice to think about because if, if you really think about it, it means that virtually everybody is capable of being something amazing. And if they just can push their themselves to get out of their comfort, comfort zone, they can begin unlocking the things inside their mind that allow them to do that. Now whether that's true or not on a practical level,
John Whiting: (01:42:55)
No accurate. You're also, you're also blending mind and brain.
Dan Henry: (01:42:58)
So tell me real quick, what is the difference between mind and brain?
John Whiting: (01:43:05)
All right. So before I answer this question, disclaimer, what's true for you is true. The reason that I'm about to answer it the way I'm about to answer it is because it fits within the framework. That basically encompasses the work that I went through that's helped me, that's helped my clients, but if you disagree with it, you can flame me in the comments. I honestly don't care. My job is not to convince you of something that you,
Dan Henry: (01:43:31)
You really have this like politically correct answer set down
John Whiting: (01:43:35)
Well, the reason is is because like I'm not, I'm not here declaring like literally everybody's job is to define what's true for them that works for them. And many people forget that. And so, you know, if a truth that you hold to be true is working for you, please keep it. Even if it disagrees with what I, whatever I say, right? Because that's, my job is to empower you, to have your own self confidence and believe in, in your own truths. And so if I'm sitting here telling you, no, you're wrong, that's not empowering you. I want you to make your own assessment of what's true for you regardless. And many people forget that and they just start throwing stones at each other and forgetting that the whole point is to like, we've been talking about this whole time is empower yourself to take control of your own shit and ultimately live life on your terms and be self-empowered.
Dan Henry: (01:44:29)
Yeah. And I think, I think also it's important to understand that when you give advice and you teach things, right? Yes. If what, like we can sit here all day long and say, this works better than that. And yada, yada, yada. But what you're saying is true, what works for you, but there's 6 billion, there's more 6 billion people on the planet. So what we can do is we can take a look and this changes and this gets updated, but we can look at what is working for the majority of people. What is consistently repeating that works and doesn't work. Like I can, like, I can safely say to you that waking up every morning and saying, you know I'm gonna have a good day will probably help. But it's not gonna help as much as if you did further work. You know what I mean? And that's that maybe that's not true in all 6 billion cases. But it's probably true in the majority, the vast majority. You know, and I think that content, that context is important. So continue the difference between mind and brain.
John Whiting: (01:45:33)
Right. So let me give you an example in right now in your mind's eye, make a picture of a dog in the middle of that to actually close your eyes. Make a picture of the, a dog in the middle of this table. Okay. Now, point to the picture. All right. Open your eyes. Are you pointing to your brain?
Dan Henry: (01:45:52)
No.
John Whiting: (01:45:53)
Right. So what's the difference between mind and brain? Mind is a mental image picture or collection of mental image pictures from past present and projected into visualized future. Okay. A brain is the, essentially like the mind is like the driver of the car, the brain is the car. Okay. So the brain is the mechanical thing that makes this body fire off and do the things that brings the mind, pictures into fruition. Somebody decided to create a beverage called LaCroix and make this all design and all this.
John Whiting: (01:46:29)
But they came up with it. Their brain didn't come up with it. Their creative imaging in their mind came up with it. And they, that fired off the mechanism in the brain that caused the hand to move to boot up the computer to do the Photoshop of the design and so on. So it's, again, it's a, it's a backwards perception that in from what's true for me, I, it makes more sense to me that that's the case. Especially when you start to look at, and there's a series on Netflix, that I think it's called Surviving Death. I don't know, Brandon, if you can verify that, just to make sure I don't point people in the wrong, but it's a very interesting, it's a very interesting series because what it goes into is essentially you know, past lifes and near death experiences and very interesting accounts, the most interesting and most practical being.
John Whiting: (01:47:21)
And I'm sure you've heard the stories of the kid who like, you know, he's born and he remembers who he was last lifetime. He was a guy, and this is part of, one of these episodes. He literally remembers who he was in the last lifetime as a co-pilot in what I think it was World War II. Remembered his partner's name went and like met the family. And like, he's like four years old, knows everything about the planes, everything, can recall it all. Now, if that was only in his brain, then he would literally, that would be physically impossible. So there's this mind that has mental image pictures with information.
Dan Henry: (01:47:57)
This makes so much, so much sense. Like, I mean, it's, and it's a simple way to...
John Whiting: (01:48:02)
You see what I'm saying, back to we're coming for a full circle here. You're like, how did you know, man? What was it to
Dan Henry: (01:48:07)
Well, I'm like I'm well, because, you know, I think like science, right? At the end of the day, when you state something as a fact and you present your logic to it, it may make a ton of sense, but that doesn't mean that new information down the line can't come into play. You know, like figuring different stuff out about the solar system where planet X is. And so I, I mean, I, you know, who knows in a thousand years, probably less, our, maybe our consciousness will be downloaded into some metaverse and that's where we're living. And we're, we're all in pods and all this crap we're talking about right now means dick, you know, but you never know. But, for what I've seen and I want ask you, we're almost outta time, but I wanna ask you one more thing that I, if you could just share in like two minutes or less, because when you, when you talk about this, I love it. And I've, I've seen this help a lot of people, or at least this concept. The positive negative, the, the the basically, do you think that being too positive all the time is actually bad for you?
John Whiting: (01:49:18)
Absolutely. And in fact, it's equal if not even, well, it's equally as harmful as being too negative all the time. And the reason is how many stories have you and I both seen where the guy put his life savings, AMC, or Reddit, or Doge coin and lost his life savings? So way too optimistic about that, right? So when I talked about mentally drunk, this is mentally coked up. Right? And so ultimately the truth is balanced. So there's two principles. There's a principle of polarity that states that essentially everything has polls. Okay. Everything is two sides of the same coin. There's equal positive in every negative. There's equal good in every bad. Rich in every poor and so on and so forth. It's just a perspective. Okay. So as, as our boy Einstein said, it's all relative, which is true.
John Whiting: (01:50:07)
So there's no absolute polar truth of one thing is good, or one thing is bad, or one thing is positive, or one thing is negative. Second law is law of conservation of energy. Means it states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another. So that means that you can't destroy negative to get positive. There's actually equal positive in every negative and equal negative in every positive. It literally, you can't destroy energy. It can only be transformed or transferred. So that being the case, there's literally equal sides to absolutely everything, there's equal hot in every cold. The example that I use is would you say 130 degrees? If we walked outside right now, it's 130, would you say it's hot out? Yeah, right? But if you and I stepped foot on Venus, it's 864 degrees Fahrenheit relatively it's eight and a half times hotter.
John Whiting: (01:50:59)
Now, how do we classify? Do we just classify both of them in the exact same hot bucket?
Dan Henry: (01:51:04)
No. No, because if you were on Venus and it was only 130 degrees,
John Whiting: (01:51:08)
You'd need a coat.
Dan Henry: (01:51:09)
You, you, well, or you could at least survive, you know, like you would not survive if on a normal day.
John Whiting: (01:51:14)
Right. And so my point is, is then you say, so now from that perspective, you're saying that Venus is hot and earth is now relatively cold?
Dan Henry: (01:51:22)
Yeah. That makes sense.
John Whiting: (01:51:23)
That makes sense. So now the, okay now Venus is hot. Earth is cold, but the sun is 9,941 degrees Fahrenheit. Well, what do I gotta do with Venus? I gotta like move it here. And then I, now the sun is hot. Venus is mild. Earth is freezing at 130 degrees Fahrenheit. Now all of a sudden, there's no such thing as hot and cold.
John Whiting: (01:51:42)
It's just a thing called temperature. Just like everything in life. There's no such thing as a good event or a bad event. It's just an event. Just depends on how you wanna look at it. And ultimately, once you like these laws, flame me in the comments, if you want, cuz it's pretty much impossible to refute these. There's no such thing.
Dan Henry: (01:51:59)
People will try.
John Whiting: (01:52:01)
Go for it. Then we'll get engagement on the video and we'll get more views. So ultimately there's no such thing as good or bad. There's no such thing. No matter catastrophic, these universal principles are true. Even like...
Dan Henry: (01:52:13)
There's no such thing as good or bad?
John Whiting: (01:52:15)
Correct. It's all just, just like, there's no such thing as hot or cold. It's all depending on how you wanna look at it, there's equal good in every bad. For example, you, if you want to take like the Holocaust, you'd say that was bad, right?
Dan Henry: (01:52:27)
Yeah. Generally. Yes.
John Whiting: (01:52:28)
Right. But how about, how about all of the millions of people that have had inspiring stories, have learned lessons that have then caused their second and third generations to now live differently and never have something potentially like that ever happen again for the rest of humanity?
Dan Henry: (01:52:45)
Yeah. I mean, I would say that is like a salvage job of a, like, like there's, that's finding good in an incredibly bad situation.
John Whiting: (01:52:55)
Right. But is it untrue?
Dan Henry: (01:52:56)
Well, no, it's not untrue.
John Whiting: (01:52:57)
Exactly. So my point is, yeah, we've salvaged it. And what everybody watching this is trying to salvage their lives and truth is there's equal good in every bad. There's equal positive in every negative, there's equal hot in every cold. And to the degree that you resist, that concept is the degree that you're trapped with lies. Cuz remember we, we talked about the truth is what sets you free. The lies are what you off and caused you to go wait a minute. Like that's what causes fucked up shit. So to the degree that you acknowledge universal truths is the degree that you're free to operate free, to choose a perspective. That's how you can have empathy in sales and understand the other person's perspective and see their point of view without lashing out, needing to punch 'em in the mouth about it. Right? So to the degree that I can, you can agree to disagree or I can just ah, see your side without needing to cause a complete scene.
Dan Henry: (01:53:50)
Well, and, and I think it's important that, you know discussions be had and logic and, and facts and all these things that are pretty finite be able to be discussed without emotions wrecking the very foundation of reality. Because you know, we, we can have conversations. We can like one thing, I'll, since you mentioned the Holocaust, which is always like the worst thing to mention. But I remember one time I was reading a book that was talking about you know, it was called The 16 Word Sales Letter and was talking about basically copywriting. And there was a section in the book, I didn't write the book, you know, but there was a section in the book that, that taught a very specific type of, of speech sort of tactic. And it said that throughout history, a lot of different leaders and, and dictators and all kinds of different people would use this tactic.
Dan Henry: (01:54:50)
And one example that it gave was Hitler in the Holocaust and it showed how he used that, that speech tactic. And then it said like, you know, basically what it said was if it a guy who was like four foot seven, get up there and use this speech tactic and inspire an entire country of otherwise rational people to do this incredibly terrible thing imagine how powerful it could be if you used it for something good or this or that. And I just thought it was interesting. So I, I take a picture of it that sentence and I post it on my, on my Instagram and I was just like, you know, kind, kind of an abrasive point, but you know, what do you guys think? You know? And I mean the vast majority of people agreed, but, but there were so many people who got so upset at the very mention of Hitler or the very mention of the Holocaust that they didn't even actually read it. Yep. They didn't even actually try to comprehend it. They just immediately got triggered. Oh. And would not even take their brain and put it in gear to actually even have a discussion. They just went, oh, I'm offended. You know? And to me, I remember when that happened, I remember I thought of you. And I was like, these people literally just opened up Instagram, took a look at that post immediately took a shot, took another one and then started babbling.
John Whiting: (01:56:16)
Yeah. They chugged a bottle of Popov right there.
Dan Henry: (01:56:19)
Right. Just at the sheer mention of it. And the thing is, is this the thing, this is why I don't agree with this whole being offended and, by just the mention of certain subjects is cuz they're touchy is because yeah, I get it. They're touchy. But imagine for a moment that you wanted to prevent a terrible atrocity from happening again. You wanted to be able to spot, spot, recognize and understand a person or an event that could happen that has already happened in history. What would you have to do in order to effectively understand that? You would have to study it. Right? You'd have, you'd have to study it. You'd have to like actually look at what's happened in the past as terrible as it may be. And you'd have to study.
John Whiting: (01:57:04)
Objectively.
Dan Henry: (01:57:05)
Objectively. But if immediately you just think that things bad and I hate it so much. So I'm just not going to even look at it. Well now guess what you've done? Now, that thing can happen again cuz you weren't paying attention and it does happen. History repeats itself. And I, I understand that it's terribly uncomfortable to look at things in history and things that have happened that are, that are uncomfortable, that are terrible. It doesn't make us feel good. But, if you really hate that thing, that much to me, the most logical way to look at it is, well, I might hate it, but I need to get past my emotions and at least understand, put, put my brain in gear to understand it so that I can recognize it so that maybe I can do my small part to prevent it from happening it again. Or at least I can see it happening and get the hell out of there. You know, and people don't think like that. They just see it, they get emotional. And that type of thinking again, what works for you is what works for you. But I haven't seen it work for very many people when it comes to achieving things in their lives.
John Whiting: (01:58:11)
But for you and I both know that the only way to get somebody to see the light, IE, close somebody on a deal or get somebody convinced of a new idea is to make it their own idea. And the way you do that, isn't by enforcing it. It's by inviting it and Hey, if they see it, they see it. If it's not, if they don't, they don't. And you, we can't care whether they do or not. Which is why I'm just like, I'm not trying to convince anybody of a thing. I'm just here to share what's worked for me. And if you like it, great. If you wanna shit on it. Great. I honestly don't really care.
Dan Henry: (01:58:41)
Yeah. Absolutely. Well, I mean, that's what I've done my whole career. I've said look here, here's what helped me. Here it is. If, if you want to do it, I, I view it this way. You're either gonna love it. You're gonna put it in a practice and it's probably gonna work for you. Or you're gonna hate it, you're gonna talk trash and you're just gonna bring it more attention to what I'm sharing so that people who don't disagree with it can see it more. So either way, thank you. Thank you for your, for your cooperation. You know, but I do agree that you cannot save people. You can only lead them. And some people, I think everyone's worth saving, but not, but you gotta save yourself.
John Whiting: (01:59:20)
The only way to influence anybody is to be the example.
Dan Henry: (01:59:25)
Yeah, absolutely.
John Whiting: (01:59:26)
It's the only way to lead anybody. It's the only way you can recruit anybody. It's the only way that you can sell anybody on anything is you have to be the example. And what most people are doing is they're being hypocrites. They're not, they're do as I say, not as I do. And what my, I have this analogy of my, this leadership analogy of imagine like this huge, like cruise ship tie up rope thing. It's like this big around weighs like a thousand pounds, like a thousand feet long. And it's got this big knot at the end of it. You slap it over your shoulder. This will be the last thing I promise. You slap it over your shoulder.
Dan Henry: (02:00:00)
I'm having so much fun talking to you. It's it's we're this is like the longest show we've done.
John Whiting: (02:00:04)
Oh, I know as fact I did a podcast the other day and it was the same thing. We're gonna go 45 minutes. We did an hour 45 and they're like, I didn't know we went that long. But so anyway, here's my leadership philosophy and has, has worked for me and everybody I teach it to. You have to decide on where that specific destination is. And then you don't fall outta your chair. And you throw this rope over your shoulder and you just start pulling towards that destination. It's gonna be really heavy. It's gonna be really tough. Don't worry about it. You just keep pulling, you just keep pulling. There's gonna be some people they come along and say, Hey man, you're an idiot for pulling that rope. This guy over here is he's pulling a rope. Why don't you just jump on his? He'll pull you, you can be a lazy bastard.
John Whiting: (02:00:44)
Okay. That's fine. I'm just gonna pull my rope, pull my rope, pull my rope. There's gonna be some people that come along and actively pull against you. Don't matter. You just pull your rope, pull your rope, pull your rope. There's gonna be some people that come along and be like, Hey, where you going? You tell 'em where you're going. You know what can I help you pull? Yeah, that'd be great. Keep pulling, keep pulling, keep pulling you. Can't you can't worry if they go away and stop pulling, you just keep pulling. There's gonna be some people that hop on and be free loaders and get a free ride. Don't worry. You just keep pulling. You just keep pulling. You just keep pulling. And ultimately that's why you have to have a specific destination and why you're going there, cuz there's gonna be, there's gonna be people that last and keep pulling with you. There're gonna be people that pull against you.
John Whiting: (02:01:26)
I don't care about any of them. I'm just keep pulling and Hey, if the people wanna pull with me, I'm gonna do my best to make the journey as enjoyable as possible. My job is just to keep pulling. And if I look at it that way just consistently day in and day out, I'm ultimately gonna be going in the direction of my own causation, playing the game of my design and doing the best that I can to help the people that wanna be, that wanna pull with me and be pulled. And hopefully I inspire some to create their own rope and the pull they, their own rope. You see? So ultimately, perfect example of this is Forrest Gump. Guy just starts running for no reason whatsoever. People, you've seen Forrest Gump. People, the hundreds of people just start running across the country with him back and forth for no reason.
John Whiting: (02:02:14)
They're like, totally makes sense, dude. Like that's leadership, you just be the example. And if you be the example for long enough, people will just start like going along with you. And so you have to be congruent. And that's why that's honestly why Forrest Gump was honestly a great leader. Even though he didn't really know it. He just consistently just kept going in the direction that he decided to go in. And he, you know, in that movies specifically just created a lot of change and inspiration. So ultimately you're not gonna convince, a mind convinced against its will is of the same opinion still. So if you try to convince people of shit is a waste of your time. Just go be the living example of what you're trying to embody the message that you're trying to spread. Just be, like you said to be, you're not human havings.
John Whiting: (02:02:58)
You're human beings. Just go be it and just keep being it. And don't second don't second guess yourself. And if you just continue to consistently keep being the best version of yourself, to the best of your ability, you will gain momentum and people will want to follow that and be a part of what it is that you're doing. And you can't be afraid of going years and years with nobody else will on to pull the rope with you. You just keep pulling. And that's ultimately what creates momentum. But yeah, trying to convince people, you can't convince people of anything, but you can, if you have results and you're going in a direction and people are like, that actually works. Maybe I should do it. Not because of something you said to them, because of what they see.
Dan Henry: (02:03:41)
It's good stuff. It's good stuff, John. I appreciate you coming on the show, man. This was fun. This was super fun.
John Whiting: (02:03:46)
It's always fun.
Dan Henry: (02:03:47)
So I'll leave some links in the show notes for, you know, checking you out and all that. What's your favorite social media that you're active on?
Dan Henry: (02:03:55)
Instagram. So Bulletproof.John.
Dan Henry: (02:03:58)
And also for those of those people listening that want to hear more out of you, we do have a masterclass from you on the, How To Think app. You actually, you have one of the most popular master classes on our app. And it is how to Bulletproof your mind. So if, if anyone out there is listening is a How To Think user, you can go on, you can find John's course on there and you can snag it up and listen to it. And of course, if you're not a How To Think member go to HowToThink.Com and sign up to get daily mindset and success mentoring as well as we do have our weekly business mentoring option as well. And you can find John's program on there as well as you know, the programs, the, the higher end coaching that you sell and all that, we'll leave links to all that in the description. But definitely, definitely at the very minimum, listen the audio course that you have on the, How To Think app. It is amazing. So thank you again for coming on, John.
John Whiting: (02:05:01)
Thanks brother. Appreciate you.