104. The Dead Bedroom Fix: A Conversation with “Dad Starting Over”

DSO is the pen name for Ralph, the founder of dadstartingover.com, host of the Dad Starting Over Podcast, and author of three books including his popular title, “The Dead Bedroom Fix”. The Dad Starting Over website is a resource for men that are “starting over” in life after divorce, after enduring a wife’s affair… or for those men who are still married and want to hit the reset button on their relationship, find their place in life, and finally do things the “right” way.

In 2020, Ralph started the DSO Fraternity, which is the members-only portion of dadstartingover.com. Members get access to Fraternity articles, podcasts, all of the DSO books, members-only discussion forums and live member meetings that take place three to four times per week. All of the member meetings are archived and available to listen via your podcast app. DSO Fraternity members also get big discounts on one-on-one coaching with any of the five DSO coaches.

Listeners of the Suzanne Venker show can go to dadstartingover.com/venker and you will get your first month of DSO Fraternity membership for $1. Try it out to see if it is right for you. Cancel at any time. Sorry ladies, the group is for men only.

Ralph has three children from his first marriage and a new one on the way soon with his second wife, Nathalie.

IN THIS EPISODE:

7:00  Men needs are simpler than women's

9:00  Women are great at validation at the beginning of their relationships

10:00  Many woman stop having sex with their husbands, especially once children come along

11:15  Women also complain of lack of sex. Men's porn habits and loss of testosterone contribute to this

12:00  Women need to continue to work on their appearance, be more agreeable, and nag less

17:00  Men need a helping hand when it comes to figuring out how to get their relationships back on track

17:35  DSO tells his story of his first marriage and his ex-wife's extra-marital affair

22:00  Suzanne reads from DSO’s book: "The Dead Bedroom Fix": Why your wife isn’t attracted to you

23:00  Why is the fault of the “dead bedroom” on the man?

24:25  Someone has to the lead in the romance department

28:50  What DOESN'T work when it comes to fixing a dead bedroom

30:00  Men and women both need to revert to what they did when they were dating

33:00  Why being “ nice” doesn’t get a man sex

34:40  Men have to both be a lover and provider

35:00  Many marriages have been flat-out ruined by kids

35:45  What makes a man HOT to a woman?

37:50  Don’t shame a woman for not “feeling it” in the moment

39:40  What men can do to fix a dead bedroom

• Be her lover
• Go to the gym & care about your appearance
• Go away - you need to get the hell away from each other!
• Be unique: What's your mission outside of being a dad or husband?
• You MUST lead and set the tone in the relationship as far as romance and sexuality
• Get your wife away from the kids