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In this episode I share about my journey of learning about self-compassion. Beginning to practice self-compassion has changed my life more than all the other self-help books, seminars, conferences, and workshops I've attended (and there have been a lot!).
I share two main ideas:
Compassion: literally means “to suffer together.” From researchers, it’s defined as “the feeling arising when you’re confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.” – Greater Good, UC Berkeley
When you listen to your friend who’s upset and disappointed about not getting the job, you see they’re suffering and you feel motivated to relieve that suffering so you say things like: I’m so sorry you didn’t get the job. You worked so hard for it and I think you deserved it! Another opportunity will come along. You’ll get a chance again!”
But what do you say to yourself when you're suffering? Often we say negative things to ourself. We beat ourselves up in ways we'd never do to a friend or loved one.
While it’s socially acceptable to have compassion for others… what about for ourselves?
Dr. Kristin Neff helped me discover compassion is extremely powerful when directed inward, and I’ve never been the same since.
Self-compassion is turning the understanding of suffering toward oneself. Ironically, this isn’t selfish. It’s just as compassionate as turning my understanding of suffering to my friend.
It opens the door for me to recognize when I’m suffering, when I’m going through a difficult time, when I need support.
And, I’ve found that the more I have compassion for myself, the more I have compassion for others! Truly.
Resources:
www.makelifelessdifficult.com
Make Life Less Difficult
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Support:
buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra