DA398 | When Your 4-Year-Old Breaks Your Heart Open: The Plumb Line for Dads (Dr. Jake Smith)

Sep 4, 2025

Dr. Jake Smith, founder of Plumb Line, shares a touching moment with his 4-year-old daughter that inspired him to explore "spiritual anatomy" in fatherhood. He explains four key systems—heart, soul, mind, and strength—that shape a dad's presence. Most fathers tend to favor one, leading to imbalance. Jake emphasizes that our emotional health directly affects our children and discusses how Jesus exemplified holistic integration. His insights inspire dads to embrace all aspects of themselves for better parenting and deeper connections.

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ANECDOTE

Daughter's Bedtime Truth Bomb

Jake Smith's 4-year-old whispered, "If I could line up all the dads in the world...I'd still pick you," which stopped him cold.
That moment prompted deep self-examination about his emotional life and fathering.

INSIGHT

Spiritual Anatomy As A Plumb Line

Jake defines a "spiritual anatomy" of heart, soul, mind, and strength derived from the Shema.
He argues true alignment means those four systems are attached, nourished, and integrated.

INSIGHT

Most Dads Have A Dominant Mode

Most people operate from one dominant system with a "sidekick," creating 12 fathering types.
Jake identifies himself as a soul-dominant visionary who pairs with strength: the "visionary warrior."

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💔 "If I could pick a nice dad or you, I'd still pick you."

That's what Dr. Jake Smith's 4-year-old daughter whispered to him at bedtime. Talk about a truth bomb from the mouth of a child!

Jake unpacks how that moment launched his discovery of our "spiritual anatomy"—the four systems that make us complete fathers:

✅ The Loving Companion (Heart)

✅ The Visionary Guide (Soul)

✅ The Strategic Overseer (Mind)

✅ The Driven Warrior (Strength)

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DadAwesome Accelerator 6-Week Cohort:

SUMMARY:

What happens when your 4-year-old daughter whispers, "If I could line up all the dads in the world and pick a nice one or you, I'd still pick you"? In this episode, Dr. Jake Smith shares how that truth bomb from his daughter launched him on a journey to discover what he calls our "spiritual anatomy"—the four integrated systems (heart, soul, mind, strength) that Jesus perfectly demonstrated. You'll learn why most dads operate from just one dominant system, how to identify your type, and practical steps to become the whole-hearted, integrated father your kids desperately need.

Key Takeaways:

Most dads live dominantly from one of four systems (heart, soul, mind, strength) with a "sidekick" system, creating 12 possible father types
Whatever you do to yourself emotionally, you'll do to your kids—if you dismiss your own feelings, you'll dismiss theirs
Jesus demonstrated perfect integration of all four systems, responding appropriately to each situation rather than predictable patterns
The goal isn't to stay in your comfort zone but to develop all four aspects of your spiritual anatomy for complete fatherhood
Creating space to understand your own emotions is the upstream work that transforms how you respond to your children's big feelings

Guest Bio:

Dr. Jake Smith is the founder of Plumb Line, a ministry dedicated to helping men and women live with their whole hearts through healing, wholeness, and purpose. A former pastor of 21 years, Jake now focuses on helping people integrate what he calls their "spiritual anatomy"—the four systems of heart, soul, mind, and strength that Jesus perfectly demonstrated. He and his wife have three children: two sons (19 and 17) and a 14-year-old daughter. Jake is passionate about helping fathers move beyond survival mode to become integrated, whole-hearted leaders in their homes.

Links Mentioned:

Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort
Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618
Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book
Plumb Line Ministry (HEART)
Plumb Line Ministry (SOUL)
Dr. Jake Smith's upcoming book and assessment (releasing early 2026)
Episode 311 | Managing Triggers, Providing a Secure Beginning, and The North Stars of Parenting (Dr. Dan Allender)