Communicating in the Stars | Date Your Wife | Ep 009

It's never a dull moment with the White’s in this week's edgy and spicy Date Your Wife conversation on the topic of Communication, as they delve into the world of Astrology and Natal Charts, revealing startlingly accurate and sometimes surprising traits about each other. At times their entertaining and flirtatious banter delivers jabs akin to a highly competitive sparring match.

Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:

Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication

 

In This Week's Podcast....COMMUNICATION Point #1: Understanding Trumps Assumption

• During their recent vacation, Danielle found herself completely submerged in the world of Astrology, studying personality and compatibility traits of both she and Garrett. What has taken Garrett fifteen years to discover about himself, Danielle has been able to figure out in ten minutes while lying on the gorgeous beaches of Maui sipping a Margareta.
• Danielle: I'm just trying to figure out how we operate, why we do the things we do, and what makes us tick. With communication specifically, that’s what triggers people. You can say something that will trigger a person if you don’t have an understanding of who they are, where they’re coming from, or what their intentions are.

 

QUESTION: How does having an understanding of your spouse's modus operandi influence the way you communicate with them?

Point #2: Is Your Relationship Account Overdrawn?

• Garrett has been working late every night and Danielle wants to spend more time with him, which she recently communicated to him. He has been wanting her to communicate her feelings more often to him, but once she did, Garrett flipped it into an argument. A text and audio battle ensued.
• Garrett: Part of the problem is you don’t make any deposits in my account and tell me I’m doing a great job, which is very important for me. I feel like you are starving me. Danielle: I've come to realize that communication is very important to you and that you always need tons of validation, tons of communication, and tons of praise.

 

QUESTION: When was the last time you made a deposit in your relationship account?

Point #3: Can You Outsource Your Love Language?

• When our gas tanks are low, we have zero desire to fill up each other's gas tanks. We start to drift and become strangers in the night,  and the next thing you know we’re talking divorce. This was always our pattern. I was giving her what I wanted to receive instead of what she wanted and needed to receive, and vice versa.
• Garrett realized when he sends a love note to Danielle, it's because he wants to receive love notes. Danielle: Can I have someone else write love notes to you? Garrett: You want to outsource your love? Ok, you go outsource it and send me a daily gdamn love letter. And I'll outsource a guy to show up and sit on the couch and just sit there while you put your legs on him.

 

QUESTION: How has understanding each other's Love Languages improved the way you communicate?

Point #4: Respect is Like Peanut Butter

• Danielle: I think we have a lot of respect for each other and recognize how hard we have worked to get where we are. Even though we might not think the same, we have the same intentions and goals. I’ve realized I am never going to get you to see the world the way I see it.  And I need to just accept that.
• Garrett: I think we have the same energy and drive. But we definitely don’t agree on everything and that’s okay. Part of being able to course correct comes down to respect. It's the ability to not have to agree on everything, and the respect is what takes you through, not love.

 

QUESTION: Do you feel like you must agree on everything in order to have a healthy, thriving marriage? Why or why not?

Point #5: Collision is Inevitable

• Danielle: My advice for women when you want to share something with your man is to approach him in a way where you can actually have a safe conversation and express your feelings without things going south. Frame the conversation so that it is coming from the heart and not the head, and frame it in a way that you can actually get past your shit.
• Garrett: Here's my suggestion for the guys: The better you know yourself, the better you can communicate with your wife what you want and what you don’t want.

 

QUESTION: How do you handle collision?

 

Communication Challenge:

Be open to the possibility of doing some research about yourselves in some new places, and then have some fun talking about what you discover. Here are some suggestions for you: astrowow.com, kolbe.com, colorcode.com

 

Date Night Topic:

On your Date Night this week, have a conversation about what it is you actually want.

 

Quote of the Week:

"I've been studying something called the Natal Chart which is a tool I use within my Soul Purpose Blueprint. What I know about Gemini’s is that we run the Universe and we are are the sexual gods of the Universe."

--Garrett J White

"Now that we have come to understand and respect one another, even though we’re a lot different - and yes, we’re still going to get into arguments and disagree on things - I think we are at that place of respect where we can come together. His strengths help me, and my strengths help him. I think our businesses getting to the level they are at is the result of us working together and playing off each other’s strengths and weaknesses."

--Danielle K White