The Partnership Podcast Separating Love from Criticism | Roles, Repair & Repatterning After the Wound
In this deeply honest episode of The Partnership Podcast, Lauren and Trey revisit the rupture they first discussed after their NYC trip — but now, they’re speaking from the other side of a powerful coaching session with their person, Dr. Joli Hamilton.
They explore how separating roles in their partnership has transformed the way they handle feedback, support, and stress. Lauren introduces the term “Vision Carrier,” a phrase that finally captures the role Trey has long played in her life. At 10:42, Lauren shares the moment she felt real validation — when their coach and Trey both affirmed that her critique of Trey’s self-awareness wasn’t too much, it was spot-on.
They discuss how denial of her feelings touched on old wounds of gaslighting from her first marriage, and how they are both working to repattern their safety-seeking behaviors in real time.
And even though the work is hard (Lauren shares she felt physically sick before the session), they’re recommitting to a partnership where love is prioritized over comfort.
Timestamps:
00:00 NYC rupture recap & coaching session reflection
04:51 “Vision Carrier” and role separation
10:42 The moment Lauren felt less “crazy”
14:45 The difference between critique and cruelty
20:30 Trey's repatterning work
26:00 Love vs. comfort in partnership
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About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.
Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)
Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment.
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Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.
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