Gary Lewandowski, PhD, a professor of psychology at Monmouth University and author of "Stronger Than You Think," discusses the science behind romantic relationships. He explores self-expansion theory, shedding light on how growth needs can lead to infidelity. The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on relationships reveals unexpected resilience among couples. Additionally, Lewandowski examines evolving perceptions of partners as best friends and how breakups can lead to personal growth, emphasizing the importance of awareness in navigating relationship dynamics.
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Quick takeaways
The COVID-19 pandemic led many to believe that their relationships would strengthen, emphasizing the importance of quality time and deeper connections.
Successful relationships rely on effective communication and mutual support, with partners acting as best friends to enhance personal fulfillment and reduce stress.
Deep dives
Pandemic Insights on Relationships
Research during the COVID-19 pandemic reveals that many relationships have thrived under the challenges imposed by lockdowns. Contrary to fears of escalating divorce rates, a poll indicated that 51% of respondents believed their relationships would strengthen due to the pandemic, with only 1% fearing deterioration. This highlights a shift in perspective, emphasizing the importance of quality time with partners, who often serve as best friends, fostering deeper connections. Such optimistic views and the resilience exhibited during stressful times illustrate how relationships can endure and grow amidst unprecedented situations.
Key Ingredients for Relationship Success
Successful relationships often hinge on the quality of communication and responsiveness between partners. Research has shown that when one partner is attentive and empathetic, it significantly alleviates stress, especially during challenging periods like the pandemic. Additionally, having a romantic partner viewed as a best friend is increasingly common, with 83% of people acknowledging this bond, reflecting higher expectations for personal fulfillment in partnerships compared to previous generations. This evolution underscores the importance of mutual support, shared experiences, and a deeper connection as essential components for relationship health.
The Role of Self-Expansion in Relationships
Self-expansion theory posits that individuals seek partners who facilitate personal growth and new experiences. Such relationships allow individuals to broaden their horizons by adopting their partner's characteristics and exploring new interests. However, when a primary relationship fails to provide this sense of growth, individuals may become more susceptible to infidelity as they seek fulfillment elsewhere. This theory highlights the importance of ensuring relationships continuously foster change and development to sustain satisfaction and connection between partners.
For psychologists, romance, attraction and love are not just the stuff of poetry – they’re also a subject for research. What are the qualities of a successful relationship? Why do some relationships endure while others fail? What do we gain from our relationships? How do we know which ones are worth holding onto or when it’s time to quit? Gary Lewandowski, PhD, a professor of psychology at Monmouth University, delves into these questions and discusses how understanding the science of relationships can help us strengthen our own.