LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS

What If Your Relationship Needs Change?

Apr 18, 2023
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ANECDOTE

Personal Experience of Unmet Needs

  • Jessica De Silva shares her personal experience moving from Los Angeles to a small town in Colorado with her fiancé, facing unmet emotional needs and isolation.
  • She describes the stress of renovating a unique home and dealing with her partner's frequent work travel, which impacted their relationship.
ADVICE

Identify Needs with the Five A's

  • Use the five A's—attention, acceptance, affection, appreciation, and allowance—to identify and understand your relationship needs.
  • Recognize that prioritization of these needs varies by attachment style and understanding this helps avoid taking things personally.
ANECDOTE

Early Relationship Focus on Freedom

  • Jessica describes her early relationship phase wanting independence and freedom after a controlling past, prioritizing allowance over other needs.
  • Her fiancé's frequent travel matched her need for autonomy, leading to compatibility in their relationship's start.
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