Positive Parenting Solutions with Amy McCready

Positive parenting is more pleasant - and more effective than control-oriented parenting styles, says Amy McCready.

Amy is a recovering yeller, mom of two grown sons, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, and the author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World and If I Have to Tell You One More Time...:The Revolutionary Program that Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling.

"Nobody wants to yell at their kids," Amy says, "but we kind of fall into this trap where we ask nicely, then repeat ourselves, then remind gently, and that goes on -- repeat, remind, repeat, remind -- until we blow and they finally spring to action."

So we think yelling works, but in reality, we're training our kids to become "parent deaf," because they they know they can safely ignore most of what we say. A vicious cycle ensues.

Amy was two kids into parenting before began looking for another way. She learned that meeting kids' two basic emotional needs -- belonging and significance-- can go a long way. "All humans have a need for autonomy, agency, and independence," Amy says. And sometimes, well-meaning parents do things for their children that the kids could do (and would like to do) independently, with a bit of training. Doing so robs kids of opportunities to be independent. In contrast, "when kids have a sense of age-appropriate independence, agency, and control, they are less likely to fight you for power," Amy says.

In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Amy discuss: Why parents yell -- & why it's not effective How "being in the moment" can help you effectively manage your child's behavior (and your frustration!) Kids' 2 basic emotional needs Age-appropriate control How to empower (vs. enable) your children Chores vs. "contributions" The problem with rewards and stickers -- and why you should use "when/then" routines instead Collaborative problem-solving How your responses (and mental health) affect your child's behavior

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