205: When the Parents Who Were the “Good” Kids Have Strong-Willed Children

I have a little treat for you this week. I am including a coaching clip where I was coaching some parents who have a very strong willed seven-year-old son, and these people are like beautiful people. They adopted this child from another country, and he didn't come to them until he was three years old, and they've just kind of been at a loss. He's dysregulated a lot of the time and they are incredibly patient, loving people. 

When I started digging into their story early on, I figured out that they were lacking pack leadership. And this is a kid that needs a lot of structure and certainty in his life. So, we must tighten up the family structures in terms of bedtime, in terms of expectations. We've really been walking them through what that looks like in real life and. How you're able to show up and what I call pack leadership, firm and loving communicating with empathy, but also like very intentional in terms of what the family rules are and that violence is not an option. 

And just giving this child more structure, more certainty. To help him feel calmer in his body, to help him feel more grounded and regulated. And so, both parents said, “I don't really have a lot of memories of ever breaking rules. Like I was just kind of a good kid.” So, here's these two people that grew up and they were good kids and then they found each other and it's a family with, they love each other, and they had so much love to give, they had one child of their own and then they adopted a child that needed a loving family.

Now they have this little boy who they're trying to support and they're trying to figure this out. They realized they needed to learn some new tools. So, I think you'll enjoy this coaching clip. Many of you will identify with and just realize that there's really no good kids and there's no bad kids, and all little kids live in their emotional brain, so if you were the “good kid,” I'm going to challenge you a little bit to dig into your story more, so enjoy this coaching clip.

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
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Resources and Links

• Parents…Do you have the kid that won’t listen, won’t follow simple requests, or just won’t allow anything to be easy? If that’s you, then join us for our next Coach Week: 3 Days of FREE Live Coaching: https://mastermindparenting.com/octobercoachweek/
• Book your live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/
• Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting