Wonderful Person, Horrible Disease: What It's Like Being Married To Someone With Addiction

A physician-mom sits across from us and tells the truth: she loved a good, kind man whose alcoholism, fueled by unhealed PTSD, dismantled their family one crisis at a time. From quiet home drinking to ER runs, withdrawal hallucinations, and an ICU ventilator, her story captures the clinical realities of alcohol use disorder and the human cost families carry in silence. She walks through safety plans for her kids, a neighbor’s garage that became a refuge, and a courthouse morning where getting a restraining order had to look “normal” so the children wouldn’t panic.

We dig into the mechanics of stigma—how judgment from colleagues, self-stigma as a physician, and the fear of losing a job keep people quiet. We talk person-first language, trauma-informed care, and the practical wisdom of respond, don’t react. She shares the hard boundary every caregiver eventually faces: sobriety can’t matter more to you than to the person using. Along the way, community shows up in surprising forms: a packed church, meals left at the door, volunteers finishing a half-built treehouse, hikes that reopen space to breathe, and faith that survives anger and doubt.

You’ll hear concrete takeaways for supporting loved ones with alcohol addiction: naming the disease without shaming the person, building child-first safety plans, seeking counseling that treats PTSD and substance use together, and finding support that fits your life when formal groups aren’t possible. Above all, you’ll hear hope—gritty, ordinary, persistent. If you’re carrying a similar weight, you are not alone. Listen, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more families find real support. Subscribe for more conversations that put compassion, science, and action at the center of addiction care.