The Power of Porn: Why Men Can’t Stop Going Back

What happens when we stop centering shame in conversations about sex?
In this deeply vulnerable and transformational episode, we sit down with Olawunmi Esan—one of Nigeria’s leading certified sex therapists and educators—to unpack the emotional, cultural, and psychological layers of sexuality that society rarely names.

From her personal story of surviving sexual trauma to helping thousands heal their relationship with pleasure, Olawunmi brings science, soul, and softness to the conversation. We discuss porn addiction, performance anxiety in men, desire discrepancies in marriages, and what it truly means to create safety in intimacy—for yourself and with others.

Whether you're single, dating, married, or healing, this episode will shift how you think about sex, connection, and emotional honesty.

🔗 Explore More from Olawunmi Esan:

Sexcapades: Erotic Intimacy Exercises
https://learning.olawunmiesan.com/sexcapades

Book a One-on-One Session with Olawunmi
www.olawunmiesan.com/myservices

Take a Course on Pleasure & Healing
https://learning.olawunmiesan.com/products/

Chapters:

00:00 - Redefining Sex Beyond Intercourse
01:43 - Why Ola Became a Sex Therapist
03:46 - The Link Between Shame, Pleasure & Pain
05:31 - When to Start Teaching Children About Sex
10:53 - The Problem with Porn Education
18:32 - Faith, Masturbation & Porn: Complex Conversations
24:36 - Sexual History, Marriage & Performance Anxiety
34:48 - Not All Men Cheat: Reframing Intimacy Norms
42:29 - Lagos and the Epidemic of Desire Discrepancy
46:14 - Olawunmi’s Personal Story of Rape & Healing
53:07 - How Parents Can Create Safe Spaces for Kids
57:02 - Reclaiming Your Body After Sexual Trauma
1:00:00 - Advice for Partners of Trauma Survivors
1:03:24 - Sexual Discipline & the Diddy Allegory
1:08:23 - Why Erectile Issues Are Often About Anxiety
1:12:23 - Men, Intimacy & Emotional Healing
1:14:06 - Rapid Fire: What Men Should Stop Doing in Bed
1:15:22 - Why Planned Sex Isn’t Boring
1:17:17 - The True Definition of Sex
1:20:09 - Final Question: Who Should Sit in This Seat Next?
1:20:23 - Breaking Hypersexual Habits Before Marriage

The Afropolitan Podcast is your passport to conversations at the intersection of legacy, liberation, and global Black excellence.
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