216 | Session Savvy: Eliminating "Fluff" Words in Child-Centered Play Therapy

In this Session Savvy episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss a common deviation in child-centered play therapy (CCPT)—using phrases like "you feel," "you must be," or "you seem" when reflecting a child’s feelings. These phrases, often used as buffers, can unintentionally shift the focus from the child's actual feeling to the qualifier, disrupting the reflective process. I explain why it's more effective to use direct reflections like "You are mad" or "You are sad," which support the development of emotional vocabulary and keep the child grounded in their emotional experience.

I also share reasons why therapists might hesitate to make direct reflections, such as fear of being wrong or discomfort with bold statements. I reassure therapists that it’s okay if a child disagrees with the reflection; it actually offers an opportunity for the child to clarify their feelings. The key is to be confident, eliminate the “fluff words,” and ensure the focus remains on helping children connect their feelings with their experiences.

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Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.