MOFO Mission #10: Don’t Be A Dick! (Breather Episode with Brad)

Oct 16, 2020

Ask episode

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

(Breather) Last but certainly not least, MOFO Mission assignment #10 is perhaps the most compelling of them all: quit being a dick to your partner! Romantic relationships have quite a big effect on hormone levels, and the stress your body experiences because of dysfunctions in your relationship will suppress testosterone, and this can truly make or break your MOFO manhood.

The goal is to display emotional self-stability, vulnerability, and kindness, while refraining from behavior like whining, complaining, or indulging in angry outbursts. Remember to remain calm, cool, collected, and clear-thinking as you encounter the daily stresses of life.

Assignments:

Don’t speak if you have a negative emotional charge, advises John Gray. Learn how to manage your emotions, so you are able to embody what John refers to as the “calm, cool, collected Kung Fu master.” Getting bitchy and whining a lot is actually a sign of low testosterone/testosterone-deficiency.
Make time for cave time! When you focus on problem-solving, engaging activities, this helps rebuild testosterone. You can work out, play any kind of game (even a video game!), or try your hand at a home improvement project - anything that gets you away from the situation and any potential arguments that will just make you feel worse and worse over time. Males are not inclined to talk things out incessantly, and instead, are better served when they go off by themselves and engage in testosterone boosting activities.
Never argue, defend, or judge. Thank you The Imperative Habit author Dave Rossi for this one! This will just set your relationship down a downward spiral.
Indulge your partner in “Venus Talks.” John Gray highlights the importance of letting your partner vent (sometimes for great lengths!) while you listen intently, without offering advice, solutions, or constructive criticism. Of course this can be tough, as males are naturally inclined to jump into problem-solving mode when hearing of any issues, but this is not what females need. They instead need to be listened to and validated, without interruption, regardless of how helpful you think you can be in the moment! Truthfully, the most helpful thing is just to listen. Remember, John Gray once said: “The most masculine thing a man can do is listen.”
When you do experience a negative emotional charge, Swallow, Smile, and Suck It Up. Of course this doesn’t mean that you should just smile through everything in life and become a total doormat, but you will feel a lot better when you’re not being super emotionally reactive.

TIMESTAMPS:

The effect of your romantic relationship has on your testosterone level is profound. [01:30]

If you have a negative emotional charge, don’t speak. Take some cave time. [03:51]

Never argue, defend, or judge. [04:54]

Indulge your partner. Listen intently without offering advice. [05:28]

Men and women experience stress, love, and success in different ways through different filters. [07:26]

Males have a short memory for conflict and resentment. [12:35]

The females want you to solve problems, protect her, and keep her safe. Don’t talk. [15:28]

Don’t argue, defend, or judge. [18:04]

Indulge your partner in Venus talks. It’s going to take a shift in mindset. [20:25]

So the female assignments are to never nitpick because even tiny complaints can add up to be a big problem for the male. [22:58]

When the female expresses anger at you, she is touching your weakest spot. She is trying to see if she is safe. [26:31]

Brad reviews all ten MOFO assignments. [27:46]

LINKS:

QUOTES:

“One person shifting can cause their relationship to shift.”
“Innate hormonal differences between testosterone-dominant males and estrogen-dominant females set us up for pain and suffering when we try to evolve behind our primitive genetic wiring and the dated archetypes of the male breadwinner and the female caretaker.”
“Males have a short memory for conflict and resentment, and by simply going away, getting some cave time, and doing testosterone boosting activities, they return to the relationship refreshed and testosterone boosted.”
“In modern life, the female’s main threat, that she needs protection from, is your own anger.”

Follow me on social media for more great content!

Instagram: @bradkearns1

Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh

Twitter: @bradleykearns

Sponsors

Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, Brad won’t sell out to anyone if he doesn’t love the product. Ask anyone.

Almost Heaven Sauna: Affordable at-home sauna kits for the ultimate relaxation and hormonal boost on demand
Brad’s Macadamia Masterpiece: Mind-blowing, life-changing nut butter blend
CAR.O.L bike: Cardiovascular optimized logic stationary bike for a highly effective eight-minute workout
Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO): Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement
Perfect Keto: The cleanest, purest, most potent ketone supplements and snacks
LetsGetChecked: At-home medical testing with great prices, quick results, and no hassles
Vuori Activewear: The most comfortable, functional, and fashionable gear, evoking the chill SoCal coastal lifestyle

Donations!

This free podcast offering is a team effort from Brad, Daniel, Siena, Gail, TJ, Vuk, RedCircle, our awesome guests, and our incredibly cool advertising partners. We are now poised and proud to double dip by both soliciting a donation and having you listen to ads! If you wanna cough up a few bucks to salute the show, we really appreciate it and will use the funds wisely for continued excellence. Go big (whatever that means to you…) and we’ll send you a free jar of Brad’s Macadamia Masterpiece as a thank you! Email to alert us! Choose to donate now, later, or never. Either way, we thank you for choosing from the first two options! :]

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.