271: Ronda Rousey’s Loss, Sibling Abuse, and Our Personal Spambots, with Kaseem Bentley

Did you do terrible things to a sibling or have one do terrible things done to you? Comedian Matt Lieb recounts the saga of his Machiavellian brother, who ridiculed his genitals, made him steal, and ruined his sketch comedy show. As an only child, I drink the pathos and schadenfreude of him and the many listeners who submitted their stories. Other topics include The Night Before (quickly diverted into a diatribe about Anthony Mackie), the Ronda Rousey fight, and our personal spam bots, which Bret has created using our Twitter archives. Spooky. Comedian Kaseem Bentley joins, back by popular demand, to go on lengthy diatribes against Terrence Howard and Hawaiian barbecue, among other things. Enjoy.

2:20 – We relive last weeks’s greatest hit, “Corporate Birthday.”
7:40 – I ask Matt and Kaseem about ‘The Night Before,’ which leads Kaseem into a long jag about Anthony Mackie being “the number one black douchebag.”
10:10 – I distract Kaseem with a question about Terrence Howard, which brings us to the story about Terrence Howard’s father killing a guy and Terrence Howard’s controversial theories about crystals and universal math.
17:05 – Kaseem outlines his theory that Terrence Howard is actually an alien who was sent through “a Negro Stargate.”
20:39 – We talk about the Rousey fight. No, Ronda Rousey did not get “exposed,” you dolts.
26:15 – Kaseem goes in hard on Hawaiian BBQ. I ask about the Nation Of Islam’s dietary restrictions.
30:52 – The Rousey fight reminded Matt of Million Dollar Baby.
39:00 – Introducing the topic of Sibling Abuse, starting with listener emails.
44:00 – Probably the most diabolical sibling torture email we received, about a brother almost drowning his younger brother, using him as bait for a pedophile, and covering him in dog poop.
48:22 – The lengthy saga of Matt Lieb’s Machiavellian brother begins.
1:03:00 – Personal Spam Bots: Following up on last week’s discussion of predictive text and Markov chains, Bret has used our Twitter archives to build us personal spam bots.
1:15:00 – Matt Lieb tells an epic story about sketch comedy and his evil brother, culminating in “Spedackle.”
1:22:55 – Matt’s story about the last time his brother punched him (while he was watching Taken), and once again diabolically neutralized his counter attack.
1:33:00 Finishing off with a few of your emails