Vanessa’s a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander’s a regular dude who’s been married to a sex therapist for over a decade

Their hot take on desire.

Their top three causes of low libido that they see

1) Painful sex

2) Unpleasurable sex

3) Relationship issues

“Our libido gets affected by everything in our lives” – Vanessa Marin

“Is my life actually supporting my libido?” – Vanessa Marin

Let’s talk about initiation – tips, couples get stuck in old scripts that stop working as relationships change

“You get rejected once and you think you are unlovable” – Dr. Casperson

“initiation should feel like an invitation” – Vanessa

“Initiation takes a large amount of vulnerability” – Vanessa

“There are a lot of unhealthy gender dynamics that come up with initiation” – Xander Marin

According to their online poll, only 2% of breast owners like the “boob honk” as a way to initiate sex.

Spouses who avoid talking about sex – they are writing a book!

What to do when a partner stonewalls the conversation – don’t start with the problems.

Connected to feel like sex or sex to feel connected – often one of each in a partnership

At what point should couples consider bringing in a therapist?

How to find out how much sex is “right” for someone’s relationship

Woman says – he doesn’t care about my pleasure – what to do?

Vibrator envy – help for the woman when the partner doesn’t understand and being able to advocate for your pleasure.

Consent and the problem of “I just do it for him”

Avoiding sex because of erectile dysfunction. They help us trouble shoot.

2023 new book! Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life Hardcover – February 7, 2023

https://www.instagram.com/vanessamarintherapy/

https://vmtherapy.com

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pillow-talks/id1569466131?i=1000577319619

Sex Talks Book: Pre-Order - https://amzn.to/3CR8OT9

Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK

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Chandra Observatory in a beachside cafe