Conversations with Tyler Mary Gaitskill on Subjects That Are Vexing Everybody
Mary Gaitskill, an acclaimed novelist and essayist known for her candid portrayals of human complexities, joins the conversation to discuss a variety of thought-provoking topics. She reveals why some people choose unhappiness and explores the fragility of personality through the lens of human and feline behaviors. Gaitskill reflects on her experiences working as a stripper and at The Strand bookstore, critiques creative writing programs, and shares insights on navigating online writing. Her frank approach to topics like cloning pets and supporting troubled teenagers is both enlightening and heart-wrenching.
45:32
Roots of Unhappiness
- Chronically unhappy people have usually been deeply hurt early in life, repeatedly encountering adversity.
- This leads to a defensive posture, making joy difficult, not necessarily a desire to be unhappy.
Cat Introductions
- Gaitskill uses the example of introducing a new cat to a multi-cat household to illustrate different responses to perceived threats.
- One cat's defensiveness amplified aggression, while another cat's calm demeanor defused it.
Empathy over Explanation
- Gaitskill aims to evoke empathy for characters who struggle to fit in, rather than providing literal explanations for their unhappiness.
- She wants readers to feel the characters' experiences and connect with their humanity.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
Get the app 1 chevron_right 2 chevron_right 3 chevron_right 4 chevron_right 5 chevron_right 6 chevron_right 7 chevron_right
Intro
00:00 • 3min
Understanding Threat Responses: Cats and Human Emotions
03:07 • 10min
Exploring Approaches to Support Troubled Teenagers
12:41 • 2min
Navigating Loss and Connection: Pets, Cloning, and Online Communities
14:24 • 2min
Navigating Online Writing and Feedback
16:31 • 15min
Reflections on New York City and the Impact of Creative Writing Programs
31:35 • 3min
Navigating Identity and Experience
34:32 • 11min
#842
• Mentioned in 24 episodes
Lolita
Vladimir Nabokov
The novel, presented as the posthumously published memoirs of Humbert Humbert, explores themes of obsession, pedophilia, and the manipulation of reality.
Humbert, a European intellectual and pedophile, becomes infatuated with Dolores Haze, whom he kidnaps and sexually abuses after marrying her mother.
The narrative delves into the complex and disturbing relationship between Humbert and Lolita, highlighting issues of morality, solipsism, and the erasure of Lolita's independent identity.
The book is known for its eloquent but deceptive narrator and its exploration of delusion, coercion, and cruelty.
#1534
• Mentioned in 15 episodes
His Dark Materials
Philip Pullman
Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" is a fantasy trilogy following Lyra Belacqua as she journeys through a parallel universe where humans are accompanied by daemon companions.
The series explores themes of free will, religious dogma, and the nature of truth.
Lyra's adventures involve encounters with witches, armored bears, and other fantastical creatures.
The trilogy's complex plot and philosophical depth have earned it critical acclaim and a devoted following.
#7863
• Mentioned in 4 episodes
House of Mirth
Edith Wharton
Edith Wharton's "House of Mirth" is a classic novel of American literature that explores themes of social class, ambition, and the constraints placed upon women in the Gilded Age. The story follows Lily Bart, a beautiful and charming young woman who struggles to navigate the complexities of New York high society.
Wharton's writing is characterized by its sharp wit and social commentary, creating a compelling and thought-provoking narrative.
The novel's exploration of themes of wealth, power, and the hypocrisy of social conventions is both timely and relevant.
The characters are richly drawn and unforgettable, their flaws and vulnerabilities making them all the more human and relatable.
The novel's tragic ending is both heartbreaking and unforgettable, leaving a lasting impression long after the final page is turned.
#6809
• Mentioned in 4 episodes
The fight
L. Divine
The Fight is the first book in the Drama High series by L. Divine.
It follows Jayd Jackson, a teenager from Compton who attends a predominantly white high school in a wealthy part of Los Angeles.
Jayd faces various challenges, including racial tensions, conflicts with her former best friend and ex-boyfriend, and a new romantic interest.
The story revolves around Jayd's first day back to school, where she encounters her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend, Trecee, who wants to fight her.
With the help of her friends and her grandmother's mystical support, Jayd navigates the complexities of high school drama.
#17729
• Mentioned in 2 episodes
The Turn of the Screw
Henry James
The Turn of the Screw is a novella by Henry James that combines elements of Gothic horror and psychological ambiguity.
It follows a young governess who is tasked with caring for two children at a remote country house, where she becomes convinced that the children are being haunted by the ghosts of a former valet and governess.
The story explores themes of isolation, fear, and the blurring of reality and imagination.
#1221
• Mentioned in 18 episodes
Bleak House
Charles Dickens
Bleak House, published in 1852-1853, is a novel by Charles Dickens that revolves around the Jarndyce family and their entanglement in the interminable lawsuit of Jarndyce and Jarndyce.
The story highlights the inefficiencies and injustices of the English Court of Chancery, as well as themes of family secrets, blackmail, murder, and social critique.
The novel follows Esther Summerson, who becomes the guardian of two other wards, Richard Carstone and Ada Clare, and their lives as they navigate the complexities of the lawsuit and personal secrets, particularly those surrounding Lady Dedlock and her past.
The novel is known for its vivid portrayal of Victorian England and its critique of various social and legal institutions of the time.
#10690
• Mentioned in 3 episodes
The Executioner's Song
Norman Mailer
The Executioner's Song is a Pulitzer Prize-winning true crime novel by Norman Mailer.
The book meticulously reconstructs the events leading up to Gary Gilmore's crimes, his trial, and his ultimate execution by firing squad in Utah in 1977.
It delves into themes of crime, punishment, and the American justice system through a blend of journalism and literary narrative.
The novel details Gilmore's troubled life, his relationships, particularly with Nicole Baker, and the legal battles surrounding his case.
Mailer's work raises questions about rehabilitation, retribution, and the ethics of capital punishment, and it examines the impact of media on high-profile criminal cases.
#6843
• Mentioned in 4 episodes
Lost cat
Caroline Paul
Caroline Paul's 'Lost Cat' is a heartfelt and humorous memoir about her cat Tibia's disappearance and subsequent return.
The book follows Caroline and her partner Wendy MacNaughton as they use various methods to uncover Tibia's secret life.
It explores themes of love, obsession, and the bond between humans and pets.
#17560
• Mentioned in 2 episodes
The Naked and the Dead
Norman Mailer
The Naked and the Dead, published in 1948, is Norman Mailer's debut novel.
It is set on the fictional island of Anopopei in the South Pacific during World War II and follows the experiences of a fourteen-man infantry platoon as they engage in a campaign to drive out the Japanese.
The novel is divided into four parts: 'Wave,' 'Argil and Mold,' 'Plant and Phantom,' and 'Wake,' and includes chorus sections of dialogue and 'Time Machine' sections that provide background and flashbacks.
The story explores themes of power, victimization, and the naturalistic view of human experience, highlighting the brutal and often futile nature of war.
Key characters include General Cummings, Lieutenant Hearn, and Sergeant Croft, whose actions and interactions drive the plot and explore the psychological and social dynamics of the soldiers.
#6238
• Mentioned in 4 episodes
The American Dream
James Truslow Adams
#3896
• Mentioned in 7 episodes
My Struggle
Karl Ove Knausgaard
Don Bartlett
The 'My Struggle' series by Karl Ove Knausgård is a deeply personal and detailed account of the author's life.
The books cover his childhood, his complex relationship with his father, his struggles with writing, and his experiences with love, family, and friendship.
The series is known for its raw energy, candor, and the author's unique style of breaking down his life into its most mundane and elemental aspects.
The books have received widespread critical acclaim and have been translated into numerous languages.
#12172
• Mentioned in 2 episodes
In the Penal Colony
Franz Kafka
The story takes place on a tropical island where a penal colony operates under a strict and inhumane system of justice.
An officer, deeply devoted to the old Commandant who invented the execution apparatus, explains its workings to a traveler.
The apparatus writes the sentence of the condemned onto their body over several hours, leading to a slow and agonizing death.
The officer's enthusiasm for the machine contrasts with the traveler's growing discomfort and moral outrage.
When the traveler refuses to support the officer's plea to continue using the apparatus, the officer frees the condemned prisoner and subjects himself to the machine, which malfunctions and kills him brutally.
The story explores themes of power, control, and the critique of authoritarian systems.
#6255
• Mentioned in 4 episodes
Harlot's Ghost
Norman Mailer
Harlot's Ghost is a sprawling novel that explores the early years of the CIA through the experiences of Harry Hubbard, a CIA operative involved in significant Cold War events like the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis.
The book delves into themes of espionage, loyalty, and morality, featuring a mix of real and fictional characters.
Despite its ambitious scope, the novel's narrative is often criticized for its complexity and lack of focus on key characters.
#28067
Mare
Mary Gaitskill
The Mare explores the complex relationships between a Dominican girl, Velvet, and her hosts, Ginger and Paul, in upstate New York.
Velvet finds solace in horse riding and forms a deep bond with a troubled mare, while navigating her own difficult home life and the cultural differences between her urban and rural environments.
The novel delves into themes of love, family, race, and class.
#47414
Flannery O'Connor
Flannery O'Connor
#39289
No book titled 'Hilton Als by Hilton Als' found.
Hilton Als
Hilton Als is a renowned author known for his works like 'The Women' and 'White Girls', which explore themes of identity, race, and gender.
#45967
Armies of the Night
Norman Mailer
In 'The Armies of the Night', Norman Mailer recounts his participation in the October 1967 March on the Pentagon, weaving a narrative that combines elements of journalism and fiction.
The book explores themes of protest, identity, and the clash between different social groups during the Vietnam War era.
It is celebrated for its innovative style, which blends personal experience with historical context.
#136
• Mentioned in 89 episodes
Anna Karenina
Leo Tolstoy
Published in 1878, 'Anna Karenina' is a novel by Leo Tolstoy that delves into the complexities of Russian society in the late 19th century.
The story centers around the extramarital affair between Anna Karenina, a married socialite, and Count Alexei Kirillovich Vronsky, which scandalizes the social circles of Saint Petersburg.
The novel also follows the parallel story of Konstantin Levin, a wealthy landowner, and his struggles with marriage, faith, and managing his estate.
Tolstoy explores a wide range of themes including love, loyalty, betrayal, hypocrisy, and the differences between rural and urban life.
The novel is known for its detailed character development and its profound commentary on the human condition.
#46645
Veronica
Mary Gaitskill
#7484
• Mentioned in 4 episodes
Tolstoy
Leo Tolstoy
Mary Gaitskill’s knack for writing about the social and physical world with unapologetic clarity has led to her style being described both as "cold and brutal” and “tender and compassionate.” Tyler considers her works The Mare, Veronica, and Lost Cat to be some of the best and most insightful American fiction in recent times. And lately she’s taken to writing essays on Substack, where she frankly analyzes “subjects that are vexing everybody,” including incels, Depp v. Heard, and political fiction.
She joined Tyler to discuss the reasons some people seem to choose to be unhappy, why she writes about oddballs, the fragility of personality, how she’s developed her natural knack for describing the physical world, why we’re better off just accepting that people are horrible, her advice for troubled teenagers, why she wouldn’t clone a lost cat, the benefits and drawbacks of writing online, what she’s learned from writing a Substack, what gets lost in Kubrick’s adaptation of Lolita, the not-so-subtle eroticism of Victorian novels, the ground rules for writing about other people, how creative writing programs are harming (some) writers, what she learned about men when working as a stripper, how her views of sexual permissiveness have changed since the ‘90s, how college students have changed over time, what she learned working at The Strand bookstore, and more.
Read a full transcript enhanced with helpful links.
Recorded September 26th, 2022 Other ways to connect
- Follow us on Twitter and Instagram
- Follow Tyler on Twitter
- Email us: cowenconvos@mercatus.gmu.edu
- Subscribe at our newsletter page to have the latest Conversations with Tyler news sent straight to your inbox.