Woof, what a week it was. Pony up to your favourite beverage of choice, and let's recap what caught our eyes here at Tech.eu

❗ Tech.eu is expanding! We're looking for some new crackerjack news tellers to join our editorial team. If you've got the chops, or know someone that does, hit us up at work@tech.eu.

🎮 London-based Improbable did NOT, in fact, close a $100 million round this week, as confirmed by Tech.eu, but rather, they're in the process of closing the round. Robin reports on how very strange this news is.

❗ The Tech.eu Summit is 24 May 2023. In Brussels.

🛒 Spotify snaps up Kinzen / Reddit acqui-hired (Robin hates that term with a passion) Sweden's Oterlu.

🤖 Dublin-based Tines extended its Series B round by $55 million, and we find out just how Lee Fixel quit Tiger Global. Hint: Reuters.

🪑 An Austrian pr0n company proposes to buy Home24 for $250 million. In Robin's words, "F*ck you Home24". (XXXLutz is actually a furniture retailer that was founded in 1945).

🦷 Maki.vc sunk €5.3 million into Düsseldorf-based at-home orthodontics device maker K Line. Of interest as the IoT investment space has cooled dramatically.

📉 Tech.eu Insider members have exclusive access to our quarterly report where we outline the shape of the European landscape.

🥄 Dan recaps the Big Deal article that went out earlier this week, diving a bit deeper into Bending Spoons' recent $340 million funding round. We got revenue numbers direct from the horses mouth, uncovered that H14 is the family office of the Berlusconi family (Bunga bunga!), and how and why the company's name is tied to The Matrix.

📱 One more thing: The European Parliament voted overwhelmingly in favour of enforcing USB-C as a common charging port across a wide range of consumer electronic devices. Hallelujah. F*ck you dongles.

🍻 That's it, now get out there and have a fantastic weekend.

❓ Leave it, I don't care.