228: Jen Hatmaker: When Everything Breaks: Grief, Growth, and Human Flourishing

Sep 22, 2025

Jen Hatmaker, a four-time New York Times bestselling author, shares her transformative journey after discovering her husband's infidelity. She discusses the challenges of grief and the importance of self-awareness, revealing how she navigated through pain to reclaim her sense of self. The conversation highlights the impact of codependency, the necessity of befriending oneself, and the power of body awareness in healing. Hatmaker's candid reflections on vulnerability and growth resonate deeply as she explores what it means to live authentically when everything falls apart.

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ANECDOTE

Night That Ended A Marriage

Jen Hatmaker woke at 2 a.m. to hear her husband voice-texting his girlfriend and called an attorney immediately.
That single moment collapsed her 26-year marriage and began a long reinvention and recovery.

INSIGHT

Body As A Lost Source Of Authority

Hatmaker explains her upbringing taught her to distrust her body and instincts as particularly dangerous for girls.
Relearning to trust bodily intuition became central to her recovery and self-authority.

ADVICE

Use Body Work To Heal Trauma

Try body-focused practices like acupuncture and guided meditation to move out of a ruminating mind and into felt experience.
Use embodied tools to calm trauma-driven loops and access a more gentle inner guidance.

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Jen Hatmaker's world unraveled at 2.00 a.m. one night when she awoke to hear her husband of 26 years lying beside her in bed, voice-texting his girlfriend.

That's the brutal story with which Jen begins her new memoir, Awake: A Memoir of Reinvention and Recovery. It was the start of a long, painful journey—through grief, honesty with her self, and ultimately, toward authentic human flourishing.

Jen shares what it meant to lose not only her marriage, but also the public persona she had spent decades building. Best known as a bestselling author and beloved Christian speaker, Hatmaker found herself stripped of the institutional supports that once held her world together. And yet, in that undoing, she began the slow work of reinvention.

Lee and Jen explore the process of grief, self-awareness, and personal growth—why many of us fear the truth, how religious systems can discourage vulnerability, and what it looks like to move from codependency toward self-compassion. And, Hatmaker speaks candidly about the body’s wisdom, the challenge of letting go, and the act of befriending yourself.

Jen Hatmaker is the author of fourteen books, including four New York Times bestsellers, and host of the podcast For the Love. Her latest book, Awake, offers a vulnerable account of healing after loss—exploring what it means to live with purpose, even when everything falls apart.

⁠Show Notes, Resources, and Transcript⁠ for abridged episode with Jen Hatmaker

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