One of the worst things you can say to a victim of covert narcissistic abuse is “every family has their issues. No one is perfect.”

Just saying this statement now makes my skin crawl. As a victim of covert narcissistic abuse, when a friend would tell me, well every family has their issues, it completely invalidated everything that I was going through. It was like I now had no room to say anything else about what was going on.

I mean what was I going to say, “No they don’t. Everyone else is perfect.”

Or - “Oh really? Tell me what issues you have.” And then try to make light of their situation.

When these words would come out of someone else's mouth, I felt completely unheard. And that no matter what I said from here, I was going to sound desperate and petty, like a constant complainer, never happy.

The message that was communicated to me was that no one was perfect. I wanted to scream, I don't want perfect! That's not what I was after. I did not know the words at the time, but I know them now. I just wanted normal.

Doctor Ramani video referenced in this episode

https://youtu.be/Bj5hVoaiKFw?feature=shared

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
Are you searching for people who get it?
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

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When You Can't See the Road Before You...Trust | Fr. Patrick Schultz