How to Stop Beating Yourself Up

Feb 2, 2023

Learn how to stop beating yourself up and improve your self-esteem with tips on self-compassion. The negative effects of self-criticism are explored, along with the importance of self-forgiveness in parenting challenges. Find support options and a discount offer for online therapy.

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INSIGHT

Beating Yourself Up Backfires

Beating yourself up feels like motivation but actually causes stress and decreases confidence.
It leads to chronic stress that harms your nervous system and can cause depression.

INSIGHT

The Self-Exemption Bias

People often treat themselves harsher than others due to a self-exemption bias.
This bias makes people believe they alone deserve harsh treatment instead of kindness.

ADVICE

Use the Friend Advice Technique

Write a compassionate letter to yourself as if comforting a friend in a tough situation.
Express care, understanding, and acknowledge everyone's flaws including your own.

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Want help to stop beating yourself up? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Today we’re going to talk about beating yourself up. Whether you made a stupid mistake, you lost your cool with someone you care about or you’re just a perfectionist with imposter syndrome - It’s easy to get sucked into the toilet hole of beating yourself up. And then you do this ridiculous thing which I’m going to call the “The Self-Exemption-Bias” which keeps you trapped in the cycle. Being too hard on yourself decreases your confidence and your sense of self-esteem and self-worth. But the good news is that you can learn to stop beating yourself up, improve your self-esteem and learn to feel self-compassion and love.

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.co...

Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanut...

Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/bes...

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.