116: Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss | Collaborative Beats Cutthroat

Jan 15, 2024

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Chris Voss is a former Lead FBI Negotiator who debunks the biggest myths of negotiation. Chris has lectured on negotiation at business schools across the country and has been seen on ABC, CBS, CNN, and Fox News. Chris has also been featured in Forbes, Time, Fast Company, and Inc. Chris’s Keynotes are based on his book Never Split The Difference which has sold more than 3 million copies in 33 languages.

In this episode we discuss the following:

For most negotiations use either a playful, upbeat tone or the “Late night FM DJ voice.” And smile.
Oprah may be the greatest negotiator of all time. And people still like her. Collaboration beats cutthroat.
Women pick up “tactical empathy” better than men. But also they are punished more than men for bad negotiating.
Extreme anchors have the tendency of driving deals away from the table.
If you routinely win “too big” in negotiations, people may stop dealing with you.
Prepare people for bad news with phrases like, “You’re probably not going to like this…” This phrase is way better than, “Not to be rude…”
Accusation Audit: Imagine the negative thoughts your counterparty has about you and proactively address them.
Mirror Technique: Repeat that last 3-5 words of what somebody just said. This is often received much better than, “What do you mean?”
Labeling Technique: After your counterparty speaks, label what they said by using phrases such as, “It seems like…” or “It sounds like…”
Use no-oriented questions: “Have you got a few minutes to talk” can be changed to “Is now a bad time to talk?” “Can I have the day off?” can be changed to “Is it ridiculous to ask for tomorrow off?”
When negotiating salary, first negotiate success: “How can I be guaranteed to be engaged in projects that are critical to our strategic future.”
And Chris’s final message: You’re going to be more prosperous being collaborative than cutthroat.

Follow Chris:

Website: https://www.blackswanltd.com/

X: https://twitter.com/fbinegotiator

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christophervoss/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefbinegotiator/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk7jHqdlFFDBhC1QIFqi54w

Book: https://amzn.to/41zEcQj

Follow Me:

X: https://twitter.com/nate_meikle

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natemeikle/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nate_meikle/