Would you say you have fire in your belly? What does it burn for?
I love exploring this question with highly sensitive people, many of whom have a deep, smouldering fire within. This fire is often linked to our values, beliefs, and personally compelling principles. I love helping people explore and (re)connect with this inner fire, supporting them to figure out how to harness it in unapologetic ways.
In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we will consider what this fire looks, feels, and sounds like. We’ll also explore how it can sometimes get extinguished, hidden, or even escalate beyond control.
We think about how to fuel, harness, and express our inner fire in ways that resonate with us as individuals. What does it mean to have a fire in your belly, and how can we express it without conforming to others’ expectations?
As Dorcas Cheng-Tozun said about social justice for the sensitive soul, we don’t have to fit into anyone else’s boxes when it comes to expressing ourselves. The fire in everyone’s belly burns differently, and how we process and turn it outwards is equally unique
What is The Fire in Your Belly?
It’s usually a compliment when we say someone has fire in their belly. It speaks to a visible energy, enthusiasm, and sense of purpose that radiates from within. But this phrase doesn’t always account for those whose fire burns deeply and quietly and isn’t as immediately apparent as the big, bright flames we might associate with explicit passion. For highly sensitive people, that inner fire is often potent.
Fire In The Belly of Sensitivity
If you search for definitions of “fire in the belly,” you’ll often find it described as a strong determination to succeed, emotional stamina, and an intense drive to achieve or accomplish something. These definitions highlight a particular kind of fire, focused on personal goals, winning, or attaining power and glory. They don’t tell the whole story, especially for those driven by values and principles (how and why) more than outcomes (what)
For many sensitive people, the fire in their belly is not about achieving for the sake of achieving. It’s not the pursuit of bigger, better, faster, or stronger in a conventional sense. Personal achievements matter, but they are often most compelling when they resonate with a broader purpose or have a meaningful impact on the world around them.
Dampening The Belly Fire
The fire in our belly can go missing when we seek safe, predictable, and comfortable ways to navigate life. For example, the desire to avoid conflict can cause that fire to dim or even disappear over time.
Feeling Too Much
For highly sensitive individuals, the inconvenience their passions might cause others can feel too jarring, especially when there’s a perceived incompatibility with others’ views, values, or beliefs. The fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection can be a powerful motivator to keep that fire hidden. Standing up for something we care deeply about can feel risky when it threatens to create friction with those around us. This fear can lead to the suppression of our inner fire, keeping it tucked away where it feels safer but also less alive.
The Role of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is another factor that can dampen the fire in our belly. When we express our passions, we open ourselves up to the uncertainty and unpredictability of creativity. There’s a vulnerability in allowing our fire to rise, in letting it breathe and take form, because we can never be sure what might come from it. The desire for perfection can keep us from taking those risks, leading us to stifle our fire rather than face the unknown.
The Impact of Cold Buckets of Water
And when others throw cold buckets of water—through criticism or dismissive comments—it can make us hesitant to let our fire show again. Caroline McGraw’s shared how an offhand remark snuffed out her passion as a child. It’s a reminder that the wrong words at a vulnerable moment can lead us to shrink back and hide ourselves.
Why HSPs Should Embrace Their Inner Fire
Expressing the fire in our belly can indeed feel risky, especially for highly sensitive people. Yet, keeping that fire locked behind glass can pose an even greater risk. By allowing our inner fire to smoulder unexpressed, we risk dampening the vitality that makes life meaningful and rich. The challenge, then, is to acknowledge the fire within and find ways to let it burn in a way that feels good.
Finding the Right Environment to Fuel Your Fire
To keep this fire alive, HSPs can surround themselves with people and places that spark, support, and fuel their passions. Just as a fire needs oxygen to thrive, our inner fire needs the right environment—spaces where our ideas are encouraged, and we feel safe to explore and express ourselves without fear of judgment. We can’t expect this everywhere, but we can find it somewhere. These environments and connections act as the breath of life to our inner flame, helping it grow stronger and more defined. Whether it’s a supportive community, a trusted friend, or a creative space, these sources of oxygen fan the flames of who we are.
Giving Form to the Fire
However, for it to be sustainable, the fire must be appropriately contained and maintained. This doesn’t mean stifling or suppressing it but giving it the structure it needs to thrive without causing harm. Like the flame on a stove or a campfire, our inner fire needs boundaries to serve its purpose without burning out of control. This requires us to be mindful of how we channel our passions, ensuring they are expressed in empowering and manageable ways so that our fire continues to fuel our lives without overwhelming us.
Coming To Our Senses
At the end of the episode, I shared a clip from Coming To Our Senses, issue two (Inspiration). I revisited our conversation about sad songs and rainy days in relation to Bittersweet Melancholy. Listen to the latest edition of the zine.