Fake It' Til You Make It

“Fake it til you make it, “ Mark advised soon after rescuing me from the Wash DC human trafficking swamp. “Predators, abusers, and puppet-tears know exactly what signs of heightened suggestibility to look for. CIA and FBI are trained to look for those specific traits. Hell, even cult leaders are savvy to signs of heightened suggestibility resultant from abuse these ‘daze’ so be aware of the signs they are looking for and fake it til you make it.”

I do not know how I could have survived those first months and even years of healing from MK Ultra mind control had I not heeded Mark’s wise advice. Today I see numerous survivors ignorantly displaying neon signs of abuse and ultimately being triggered back into abuse bases and under mind control.

It is easy for survivors to recognize other survivors, telepathically, energetically and through physical signs. Those of us who have healed from within our selves to reclaim self control and inner peace need to alert other survivors to their signs of vulnerability so they, too, can ‘fake it til they make it’.

Depersonalization results from extreme dissociation to the point victims do not consciously see themselves in a mirror. This results in displays of extreme appearance in a subconscious effort to assert pleas for help that victims struggling to become survivors cannot think to voice. 

Depersonalization can become so extreme from unspeakable trauma that victims lose their ability to feel or register pain anymore. Often this is displayed in excessive piercings and tattoos in sensitive areas. 

Subconscious displays of abuse can also double as asserted effort to offend or repel others when in fact it also invites more abuse from predators looking for those signs. 

My experience under MK Ultra mind control on a White House/Pentagon level included control of my appearance. How I walked, when I talked, and how I was dressed were all controlled through programming. 

I deprogrammed the program first, writing out detailed instruction of my programmers. I even heard their voices in my head saying, “walk this way” until I wrote it out. By activating the logic part of my brain through moving a pen, neuron pathways in my brain re-opened, freeing compartmentalized memory and allowing for my own natural physical expression of walking. My gait changed once and for all, never reverting back to programmed mannerisms. 

Mannerisms that are recognizable even in children include a fixed gaze on genital areas. This is often a defense mechanism of ‘sizing up’ abuse that also reflects heightened sexuality obsession. In a silent plea for help, the fixed gaze may also be a pleading look at passerbys, into cars, or staring at the ground avoiding eye contact. Be mindful of your gaze, while understanding extended gaze without blinking indicates dissociation and ultimately vulnerability.

Stun guns were commonly used for mind control back when I endured MK Ultra programming. Resultant stun gun electric prod ‘burns’ were strategically left as indicators on strategic parts of my body as a signifier to those in the know what I was programmed to do. These stun gun burns turned into ‘beauty mark’ moles signifying message delivery, oral sex, and more. I had those moles removed since they were a trigger to me and signifier to abusers. 

I did not have visible rose or monarch tattoos as many other MK Ultra victims did since my decorative signifiers were usually displayed in jewelry, which ultimately was easy to remove!

Read the full article on Cathy's website here!