Holiday Depression and Grief: How to Set Boundaries, Manage Expectations, and Find Peace

The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration—but for many living with depression or grief, this season can feel unbearably heavy.

In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, host Terry McGuire and psychologist Dr. Anita Sanz speak with grief expert Krista St-Germain about how to navigate the emotional complexities of the holiday season when you’re struggling with loss, sadness, or mental exhaustion.

Krista explains the difference between grief and depression, why both can coexist, and how social expectations and “holiday perfectionism” can make it harder for us to honor what we’re truly feeling. She shares compassionate, practical strategies for setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and letting go of the guilt that often comes with saying “no.”

You’ll also learn Krista’s “N-O-W Method”—a simple three-step process for sitting with emotions instead of resisting them:

• Name what you’re feeling
• Open to it
• Witness the physical sensations until they pass

The conversation closes with a powerful reminder: If someone’s going to be disappointed this holiday season, make sure it’s not you.

Primary Topics Covered:

• How grief and depression overlap but differ in focus
• Why holidays amplify emotional pain and loneliness
• How social “shoulds” worsen depression during celebrations
• The importance of rewriting family rituals after loss
• How to communicate your needs to others
• Setting healthy boundaries without guilt
• How to stop “pre-feeling” bad emotions before events
• Using the N-O-W method to process feelings mindfully
• What to do when loved ones can’t understand your grief
• How to honor your emotions instead of performing for others

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction and welcome
01:45 – Grief vs. depression: how they overlap and differ
04:25 – Understanding grief as a response to all kinds of loss
07:00 – How accomplishments can unexpectedly trigger grief
08:10 – The pressure of “holiday happiness” and unrealistic expectations
09:28 – Giving yourself permission to change traditions
10:21 – Communicating your needs to family and friends
11:13 – Handling pushback and advocating for yourself
12:17 – Respecting different ways of grieving within families
13:06 – Avoiding “should” thinking during the holidays
13:28 – How anticipating bad feelings makes things worse
14:34 – Learning to feel your feelings with the N-O-W method
17:48 – When loved ones expect you to act happy
18:04 – Boundaries: “Someone’s going to be disappointed—don’t let it be you”
19:37 – Why feeling guilty often means you’re doing the right thing
20:12 – Grieving lost dreams and unmet expectations
21:08 – The value of mindfulness and emotional witnessing
22:49 – Giving others permission to be disappointed
23:25 – Reframing conflict and emotional honesty
25:32 – Challenging the expectation to “perform” happiness
26:10 – The lack of grief education in our culture
26:40 – Depression and grief: two misunderstood emotional experiences
27:01 – Using EFT (tapping) to manage difficult feelings
27:18 – Closing reflections and hope for the holidays

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