Living with Depression: Finding Hope After Suicidal Thoughts During the Pandemic

When the pandemic forced him into isolation, John found himself at his darkest point—facing suicidal thoughts more serious than ever before. But instead of giving up, he reached for help. That decision began a powerful journey of living with depression, finding hope, and finally realizing he was not alone.

In this episode, John shares how stigma and shame kept him from naming depression for years, why personal stories spoke to him more than clinical definitions, and how admitting “I live with depression” became the key to recovery. He also reflects on the courage it took to open up to his family and friends, and how even the smallest connections made him feel lighter and less alone.

Hosts Terry and Bridget highlight the importance of stories like John’s—proof that depression’s lies can be challenged, healing is possible, and that speaking up has the power to save lives.

Primary Topics Covered:

• How John’s depression worsened during the COVID-19 pandemic
• The connection between suicidal thoughts and feelings of isolation
• Why intellectual knowledge of depression isn’t enough without emotional understanding
• The role of stigma in keeping men silent about depression
• How personal stories (vs. clinical definitions) helped John accept his illness
• The healing power of hearing “you are not alone”
• The importance of naming depression as an illness, not a character flaw
• How opening up to friends and family reduced shame and built connection
• Why sharing lived experiences helps others survive their darkest moments
• Daily routines, self-care, and medication as anchors for recovery
• Practical ways to “shift your state” when stuck in negative thought loops

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro and John’s connection to the podcast community  
03:02 – How the pandemic triggered John’s deepest depression  
05:01 – Facing suicidal thoughts while quarantined  
05:35 – Calling his doctor, restarting medication, and starting therapy  
06:00 – Searching for answers: why do these dark episodes keep happening?  
06:31 – Realizing he had been living with depression all his life  
07:28 – Depression’s lies: “You’re not good enough”  
08:05 – The healing power of personal stories vs. clinical definitions  
09:39 – What John wishes he could tell his past self about depression  
10:24 – Depression is not weakness, shame, or a secret to hide  
11:04 – Why reaching out for help feels impossible—but why it matters  
11:55 – Sharing his depression with a friend (and finding out he wasn’t alone)  
12:24 – Opening up to his mother: a Herculean step toward connection  
13:10 – The secret so many people keep: silent struggles with depression  
14:31 – Planning ahead: why reaching out works best before the crisis hits  
16:22 – What life looks like for John now: medication, therapy, and daily routines  
18:31 – Learning to say: “I’m worth taking care of myself.”  
19:47 – Tools to interrupt negative thought loops (self-compassion, shifting state)  
21:39 – Call to listeners: share your own strategies to stop depression’s cycles  
22:25 – Closing reflections on John’s powerful contribution  

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