Sons of Patriarchy The Reformed Church and Abuse
Apr 10, 2025
The guest, a pastor's daughter and abuse survivor from a Reformed community, shares her harrowing personal story of sexual abuse and the challenges of recovery. She critiques the damaging responses of churches and emphasizes the importance of trauma-informed care. Discussing the pervasive culture of silence within her community, she calls for churches to prioritize victim support over institutional reputation. Highlighting the need for trained professionals and proper reporting, she champions a movement towards creating safer spaces for healing and accountability.
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Early Community Split Over Wilson Influence
- The guest first encountered Doug Wilson influence when her grandmother's PCA church split over Federal Vision theology and later found the same influence near her own URC church.
- A prominent deacon promoting Wilson's ideas left after confrontation, fracturing friendships and community ties for the guest's family.
Teenage Assault And Silence
- At 15 the guest was sexually violated by three upperclassmen at her Christian school and felt terrified and ashamed without language to report it.
- She did not tell anyone because she feared police reports, public scandal, and social backlash in the tight Dutch-Reformed community.
Suppressed Memories And Daily Survival
- The guest suppressed memories and coped by pretending nothing happened, which masked trauma for years.
- She experienced anxiety and isolation during high school, often hiding during lunch and praying simply for enough faith to survive each moment.
