Frances used to bite her fingernails. She tried everything to stop that habit! First, she put stickers on her nails, but she always removed them without even noticing. Then, she painted her nails with a bitter substance, but even the bad taste couldn’t stop her.

Naturally, Frances felt extreme frustration with herself. Why couldn’t she stop, even though she wanted to? She looked at her bitten-down fingernails and wondered, “Who’s actually in charge here?” Now, unless you’re a professional hand model, biting your fingernails doesn’t really negatively impact your life. But maybe you can relate to how Frances felt. Maybe you have a bad habit, or even an addiction, you just can’t seem to shake.

Over the course of our lives, we all acquire behaviors and habits that we wish we could change. While it may seem impossible, we do have the power to change our brains. In order to do so, however, you might need to make some internal adjustments.

Bad Habits and IFS: Change Your Perspective, Change Your Self