Robot Unicorn

"Why Are You Always So Defensive?"

Jul 29, 2024

Scott and Jess share their journey from high school sweethearts to parents, highlighting how their communication evolved. They discuss the challenge of being defensive and the importance of listening to each other. Anticipating needs and finding the right timing for tough conversations are key themes. The duo emphasizes validation but adds the necessity of curiosity to build trust. Through personal anecdotes, they provide relatable strategies for navigating the complexities of communication in both parenting and romance.

54:36

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Quick takeaways

Effective communication evolves through personal growth and shared experiences, requiring partners to cultivate these skills over time.

Acknowledging defensiveness in discussions allows for vulnerability and understanding, creating a supportive environment for clear communication.

The shift from superficial validation to genuine curiosity fosters deeper emotional intimacy and transforms conflict resolution in relationships.

Deep dives

The Evolution of Communication

Effective communication between partners evolves over time, and it’s often shaped by personal growth and experiences. The individuals in the relationship highlight that they were not always adept at expressing their feelings and resolving conflicts; rather, it was a skill cultivated through their journey together. Specifically, their growth was influenced by their upbringing, as one partner recognized that their family had poor communication habits, which required learning new ways to express thoughts and feelings. This journey underscores the importance of mutual respect and adaptation in fostering a healthier communication style.

Intro

2min

The Evolution of Communication in Relationships

6min

Evolving Communication and Parenthood Challenges

2min

Navigating Feedback and Communication in Relationships

19min

Navigating Communication and Attachment in Relationships

3min

Navigating Communication in Relationships

12min

Navigating Communication in Relationships

10min

One of the most common questions Scott and Jess get about Robot Unicorn is: “Was your communication always this good? How did you learn to be less defensive and stop fighting in your relationship?”

In this episode, Scott and Jess dive into their journey from high school sweethearts to happily married parents. They share valuable insights on:

- How to move past defensiveness and truly listen to your partner

- The importance of anticipating each other's needs

- Why validating feelings isn't enough - you need to get curious

- How to have difficult conversations without accusations or blame

- Building a foundation of safety and trust in your relationship

Listeners will gain practical tips for improving communication with their partner, even during challenging seasons of life. Scott and Jess's honest, unscripted conversation offers a relatable look at the work required to build a strong relationship. Whether you're newlyweds or long-time partners, this episode has the wisdom to help take your communication to the next level.

Get 10% OFF parenting courses and kids' printable activities at Nurtured First using the code ROBOTUNICORN.

Learn more about the Solving Bedtime Battles course here.

Credits:

Editing by The Pod Cabin

Artwork by Wallflower Studio

Production by Nurtured First

Learn more about the Solving Bedtime Battles course here.