535: Should Siblings Unite to Confront Abusive Parents? | Feedback Friday

Jul 16, 2021

Reflecting on the complexities of childhood trauma, the hosts discuss whether siblings can unite to confront abusive parents for closure. They delve into the psychological nuances of malignant narcissism and the emotional struggles that come with reconciling past abuse. Listeners also learn how to honor lost loved ones during significant life events, like weddings, emphasizing storytelling and gratitude amidst grief. Practical advice flows throughout, offering insights on navigating family dynamics and personal healing in the wake of trauma.

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INSIGHT

Acknowledging Parental Harm

Difficulty acknowledging parental harm stems from childhood dependence and idealization.
Therapy helps process and reconcile this conflict.

ADVICE

Connecting with Siblings

Connect with your siblings to share experiences and process childhood trauma together.
This can provide support and alternative closure avenues.

ADVICE

Finding Closure with Abusive Parents

Process your feelings of anger and grief towards your parents.
Seek closure by acknowledging their actions and validating your experience.

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You and your five siblings aren't close, but you all have one thing in common: you endured a childhood marred by abusive parents who played you against each other. Now that you're all adults, you'd like to unite your siblings to confront your parents as a group for some closure -- but you're not sure they're all on board with the idea. Is there a good way to convince them, or might it be possible to get the closure you're looking for without their help or even a confrontation at all? We'll get into this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/535

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

Is it worth trying to unite your siblings for a confrontation with your abusive parents to gain a sense of closure? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!]
You've postponed your wedding twice due to the pandemic, but two very close people in your life have passed away in the interim -- and it's hard to imagine having this wedding without them. Is there a way to somehow include and honor them in the ceremony?
As a middle manager, you rely on your second-in-command to lead the department so you can focus on admin. Unfortunately, he fails at every step and creates more work for you than he saves. He can't be fired, transferred, or demoted, and he refuses to improve. What can you do?
You're a teenager living in a household with your father and a verbally abusive stepmom who doesn't like teens. You'd prefer to live with your biological mother, but the custody agreement as it stands wouldn't allow it. How can you convince your dad and stepmother that changing the agreement would be the right move for everyone?
You consider your current sales job as a placeholder until you can get your master's degree in mental health counseling. The hitch is that your program requires your completion of a nine-month internship that would fall during your busy season in two years. What's the least awkward way of bringing this up to your boss -- who doesn't yet know about your aspirations in a completely different field?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at

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