The Mindset Shift Every Real Estate Investor Needs for Raising Private Money

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@respectmyblueprintpodcast  

“The Blueprint to Attracting Private Money for Real Estate | Jay Conner Interview (2025)"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8odG9ocVgs 

One of the biggest challenges for real estate investors—new and seasoned alike—is securing funding for their deals. Many hopeful investors are turned away by banks, discouraged by strict credit requirements, or simply overwhelmed by the idea that hefty amounts of capital are needed to get started. But what if you could bypass the hoops, skip the hard money lenders, and line up the funds you need from regular people in your own community?

That’s exactly what Jay Conner, known as the “Private Money Authority,” has been doing since 2009. In his conversation with Wesley Paul on the Respect My Blueprint podcast, Jay laid out a practical and proven roadmap for leveraging private money—and why mindset is the key to unlocking this powerful strategy.

Flip the Script on Funding

Jay’s journey began in a small town in North Carolina, with a target market of only about 40,000 people. Despite this “small pond,” Jay has managed to dominate his market, buying and flipping over 500 houses and building an average profit per deal of $86,000.

He attributes much of his success to a simple but profound shift: instead of chasing after loans or groveling at the feet of the banks, he decided he would “offer a mortgage rather than ask for one.” In other words, Jay stopped asking for money and started offering people the opportunity to invest in his deals. By repositioning himself as a teacher, not a beggar, the dynamic shifted—and so did his results.

Teaching, Not Pitching

One of Jay’s golden rules is never to ask for money or pitch a deal directly. Instead, he leads with education. He explains to people in his network—church members, acquaintances, friends—what private lending is, how it works, and what protections and returns they can expect.

The trust inherent in these relationships is vital. “There’s a five-letter word that’s crucial in this business—trust,” Jay says. People are much more willing to move forward if they understand what they’re getting into and if they trust you to guide them.

Setting the Terms

Rather than letting lenders set the conditions, Jay established his own terms:

• Interest rate: He’s consistently offered 8% since 2009, a rate that outpaces what most people can get in a savings account or CD.
• Loan-to-value: Jay only borrows up to 75% of the after-repair value (ARV) of a property, mitigating risk for the lender.
• Security: Each lender receives a promissory note secured by a deed of trust (or mortgage), and they’re named as the mortgagee on the insurance policy.
• No desperation: Jay separates conversations about his program from discussions about individual deals. By educating first and only bringing deals to lenders after they’re comfortable and interested, he avoids the “desperation” that turns so many people off.

This approach works: Jay now has 47 private lenders—and more capital available than deals to put it into.

Who Can Be a Private Money Lender?

Jay’s experience has proven that just about anyone can be a private lender. From retired teachers and law enforcement officers to minor children who inherited money, private lending isn’t limited to the wealthy elite. If someone has either liquid capital or unused retirement funds, they can become a lender.

The Takeaway: Get the Money First

One of the most important lessons from Jay’s interview is this: line up your funding before chasing deals. Too often, investors scramble for money after they find a property, which can create stress and lead to poo