The Joys and Pains of Comparing Yourself to Others: Finding Balance in a World of Comparison

Let me ask you a question, “Do you like laugh tracks?” Didn’t think so.

If laugh tracks are so universally disliked, why do Hollywood executives continue to include them? These executives understand something that we may not; however irksome canned laughter may be, it provides valuable social cues to viewers. Research has repeatedly shown that laugh tracks cause viewers to laugh longer and harder and to rate the viewing experience as more enjoyable. In fact, laugh tracks have been shown to be most effective at improving the appraisals of jokes that are especially bad! We are programmed to do what others are doing, even when those others only exist on tape.
Social mimicry is ubiquitous. Panhandlers often salt their tip jars with money from the day before to show that giving is proper behavior and that other people have deemed them worthy of a handout. A beggar with no money in his cup is perhaps more deserving of a dollar, but also far less likely to get that dollar than the beggar who already has three.
One of the most cost effective ways to extinguish a fear in children is to have them observe other children performing the anxiety-inducing behavior. In one study, 67% of children with a fear of dogs were “cured” of this phobia within a week, simply by watching other children pet Fido. Even something as serious as suicide is subject to the effects of social mimicry. Dr. David Phillips of the University of California at San Diego found that “within two months after every front-page suicide story, an average of fifty-eight more people than usual killed themselves.” In laughing and crying, living and dying, it would seem that the behavior of those around is far more contagious than we may have ever supposed.
Mirror neurons and other mechanisms of the brain facilitate the precious gift of empathy, an invaluable resource when building relationships and community. Though we may not have experienced exactly the same joys and sorrows, we can vicariously experience each other’s emotions in a way that allows for comfort, support and even shared elation.
But, in what is becoming an ever-stronger theme here, the very mechanisms by which we form community and share each others’ burdens make us poor investors and more concerned with keeping up with others than providing for our own needs. As Jason Zweig says, “…investing isn’t about beating others at their game. It’s about controlling yourself at your own game.”