Forgiving Ourselves For The Past And Compassionately Accepting All The Versions We've Been | I’m The Problem It’s Me

Apr 10, 2024

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Welcome back to my new series “I’m the problem, it’s me,” where I call bullshit on myself for the self-sabotage and mistakes I keep on making, because that’s the stuff that teaches us the most.

Today is a vulnerable one. Remember that recent “show me you at 21” trend that circulated on social media? Well that deep-dive through old photo albums and Facebook timelines sent me into a certifiable spiral. Reflecting on who I was in my teens and early 20s, I was confronted with a tidal wave of self hate over how I looked and dressed, how much I drank, how obnoxiously and overly-sexualized I present myself, and how disconnected I seemed to be from who I really am.

The judgment and shame towards my past self was overwhelming, until I realized that my current self is in fact the problem. It’s easy to be critical in hindsight, but when we were young, we were almost always doing the best we could with what we knew.

I’ve spent a good chunk of adulthood resenting the versions of myself that came before this one. So it’s me, Gill, I’m the problem, it's me. And in today’s episode I’m rewriting my relationship with my past, and choosing compassion.

Join me as I dive into:

Why looking into my past brought up so much shame
How accepting our past selves can lead to more confidence and compassion
Aiming for neutrality and acceptance VS unconditional self-love
The power of inner child work
The tools I’m using to build self-compassion and change my self-talk
Why you should write letters to your past self
Learning from the versions of ourselves that we’ve outgrown
Why growth and change can go hand-in-hand with grief

I hope we can all learn to love the past eras that brought us to this one, and in the meantime, know that I love you.

Our show is produced by:

Gillian Berner, Host, Producer & Editor
Olivia Nashmi, Audio Engineer
Kyla Killackey, Digital Editor
Carolyn Schissler, Designer & Web Producer

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