Vanessa Zoltan discusses the importance of knowing when to quit, challenging the misconception of grit as an absolute virtue. She explores decision-making based on personal values in various contexts like co-parenting communication, driving, and suburban living, emphasizing the significance of aligning actions with core values.
Deciding to quit should be based on personal values, not fear of failure.
Align decisions to quit with personal values, not just suffering and grit.
Deep dives
Quitting Should Be Based on Values, Not Just Grit or Suffering
Vanessa Zoltan emphasizes that decisions to quit should be guided by personal values rather than solely by the misconception that quitting equates to failure. She highlights how the society often confuses tools like grit with values and explains that grit shouldn't be the primary factor in determining whether to quit something. Zoltan shares a personal example of reflecting on her core values of hospitality, fun, and grace to make decisions about quitting, encouraging listeners to base their choices on their values rather than fear of quitting.
Choosing to Quit Should Align with Personal Values and Priorities
Zoltan discusses the importance of aligning decisions to quit with personal values and priorities. She acknowledges that certain things might seem difficult to quit, like driving, but stresses the significance of evaluating competing values to make the best choice. Zoltan advocates for assessing the impact on personal values when deciding whether to quit something, emphasizing that suffering and grit, while sometimes necessary, should not dictate decisions to continue or quit.
Vanessa Zoltan is the host of The Real Question. She has a BA in English Literature and Creative Writing from Washington University in St. Louis, an MS in Nonprofit Management from the University of Pennsylvania, and a MDiv from Harvard Divinity School. She is the CEO and Founder of Not Sorry Productions, which produces the podcasts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, Twilight in Quarantine, and Hot & Bothered. She also runs pilgrimages and walking tours exploring sacred reading and writing.
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