367. Dr. Jason Selk: Unlock Your Mental Toughness with Relentless Solution Focus

Jeff Pelizzaro: [00:00:00] The 18STRONG Podcast episode number 367 with Dr. Jason Selk, sports psychologist and performance coach.

What’s up guys. Welcome back to the 18STRONG Podcast where we’re here to help you build a stronger game because we believe every golfer deserves to play better longer. This week we have a special guest, Dr. Jason Selk in studio to talk about his book, Relentless Solution Focus. And really just to talk about the RSF mentality, which is getting out of the cycle of thinking of our problems all the time, which tends to get us in trouble on and off the golf course and learning how to truly focus on the solutions that are going to resolve those problems or at least pieces of those [00:01:00] problems.

So it’s learning how to shift your focus from the problem over to the solution. This is the number one characteristic of mental toughness, which Jason’s going to explain in this episode. He also teaches us not just how to understand this. The knowledge of it, but also how to take action and truly train our brains to do that.

Just like you would train your muscles. So you really enjoy this episode with Jason. Our partners over at Link Soul have been providing us with the best apparel for both on the course and off the course from polos to t shirts like the one I have on right now. Everything that they have is meant to be worn from the golf course to wherever you’re going next, whether that be casual, whether that be to the beach.

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Dr. Silk, welcome to the 18STRONG Podcast. Jeff,

Dr. Jason Selk: thanks for having me. As I said, you gotta please call me Jason. Absolutely,

Jeff Pelizzaro: absolutely. First and foremost, this book, your book, Relentless Solution Focus, has been recommended several times on our last couple of podcasts. And it just happens that you’re a St.

Louis guy, you live not too far down the road, and you were nice enough to come into the studio. So I can’t wait to dig into this, literally just finished it this morning, and but I want to talk to you first of all and foremost about mental toughness. Define mental toughness for us to just kick off the show.

Dr. Jason Selk: We’re going to get right to it, huh? Yeah, for sure. I have had, hundreds of definitions of mental toughness over the last 25 years, but I think the one for me that sticks the most is the mind’s ability, To stay focused on solutions, especially in the face of adversity. Nobody needs mental toughness when the scoreboard is in your favor.[00:03:00]

It’s when you’re losing by two or three runs, you’re down to your last out. It’s when your bank account is dwindling and you’re not sure how your pipeline is going to fill back up. It’s when you’re in a relationship and it’s not as easy as it used to be. I think those are the times where People really need mental toughness.

Jeff Pelizzaro: And one of the most crucial pieces of the book is the fact that most of the time we tend to focus on the things that are going wrong the problems that we have. Can you speak a little bit to really the, that’s the big piece and some of the pieces that we can dive into to help.

Dr. Jason Selk: Yeah, I think it’s important to normalize for people that, unfortunately, the way our brains are built, it is completely normal, biologically speaking, to focus on the problem.

It’s called PCT, [00:04:00] problem centric thinking. Hundreds of years ago, it was necessary for the advancement of the species. That, if we weren’t always worried about the threat that was lurking in the bushes, then we were more than likely going to end up in the lion’s den. And so hundreds of years ago, it was critical for survival, for literally, for our species to advance.

Fast forward hundreds of years, and we live in a very safe time now, comparatively speaking, and so that same PCT tendency Even though it, hundreds of years ago, was so good for us, it’s now so bad for us. We just went through this worldwide pandemic, and the truth of the matter is, PCT will take more lives by far than any pandemic, hopefully, that we ever face.

Certainly anything we’ve ever faced. Because we actually, when we allow our minds to do what’s totally [00:05:00] normal, which is Focus on the problem. The brain releases a neurotransmitter called cortisol. Cortisol, it’s the punctuation of fight or flight. And that is where, the advancement or the survival of the species was affected in such a positive way, was us living a lot of our lives in that fight or flight mode.

However, when that cortisol goes in the bloodstream, it’s a toxin for us. It causes all feelings of stress. anxiety, fear, anger, depression, guilt, but it literally is like a poison. Now, the good thing is that when the cortisol goes in, it’s such a low dose, but shoot, if you inject yourself with low doses of poison, even if it’s just small amounts and low doses over time, that’s going to get you.

And here’s what I tell you, people with. RSF and RSF is, it’s the title of the book, relentless Solution Focus. I think you could [00:06:00] interchange RSF for mental toughness. I really think they’re almost synonymous. So a person with RSF or a person with mental toughness, biologically speaking, is going to live on average 14 years longer.

Wow. It’s crazy. You think about 14 years, think, what were you doing 14 years ago? That’s a long time. And. The kicker is not only will you live significantly longer, but scientifically proven again that you’re going to have measurable increases in health, happiness, and success, is if you can really learn to keep the mind away from that biologically normal PCT, which we know, with some training, doesn’t take major amounts, some, we can actually train PCT to go away And be replaced with RSF.

So I could say PCT is mental weakness and I could [00:07:00] say RSF is mental toughness. With training, we can all become mentally tough, just as. When I’m born, my bicep is completely weak, but with training, I can make that guy pretty strong. With training. Yeah, and that’s

Jeff Pelizzaro: the big piece that I took out of it is, mental toughness to me, that’s a noun, right?

But RSF is you have to take action too. You can read all the books. And one of the big pieces of your book is that it’s not just about the knowledge. You’re actually giving a way for us to train. And I remember the story in there about when you were out on your deck and came up with the idea of Hey, we train our bodies.

We have to train our mind. And so speak to how important the action piece is. We can hear it all though. We hear it all the time, but it

Dr. Jason Selk: really hits home. Yeah, I think it’s why I’ve had so much success in my career. I know it’s what got me the job at the St. Louis Cardinals back in 2006.

That, I think you get a lot of people in the mental health field. [00:08:00] And, maybe you say in the sports psychology world where it’s very much, let me teach you certain things. And I learned a long time ago, knowing something does nothing, doing something does. And again, if you look at, The biology of the brain.

That’s the part I think people must understand that all day long I can pep talk you to be strong. Jeff, you know a lot about making the body strong That’s really your bread and butter. You could teach me so many things about having strong biceps or strong legs But until I get my butt up off this chair and go out there and start doing some of the exercises nothing changes and I know You know with my approach, a mental workout, it is a, when I was working with the Cardinals, it was three minutes and 40 seconds.

People in the business world, it’s a minute and 40 seconds. And there are biological reasons, I need to, with an athlete, do enough visualization where it actually starts to create muscle memory. And we know [00:09:00] you can do that. In the business world, we don’t need muscle memory. We just really need that mental memory.

So we don’t need to have it as long. But, again, it’s not a pep talk. Mental toughness is no more a pep talk than physical toughness is. However, you got most people like me. are going to tell you a pep talk will do it. And I would just challenge you. And I think this is why in my career, the people I’ve worked with have had a lot of success that we don’t talk about it.

We do it, we train it. And once you train it, you really can’t. Not have it there when you want it.

Jeff Pelizzaro: Can you break down a little bit of what RSF stands for? How do you go from that PCT thinking to more of the solution focused thinking?

Dr. Jason Selk: Yeah, so just definition, RSF is Relentless Solution Focus. And the definition I use is within 60 seconds replacing all negative or problem focused thought with Solution focused thinking, the reason we want to do it [00:10:00] quickly, the 60 seconds and I don’t know that people need to get their stopwatches out or protractors out, but the whole idea is to move your thoughts from problem to solution and do it quickly because the longer I stay focused on the problem, the more that cortisol is being pushed into the bloodstream.

Now, I told you, cortisol makes you feel like garbage, but it also makes you stupid. If you think about fight or flight, your brain, the essence of fight or flight is your brain is just losing its ability for detailed thinking. Translation to me is, you become dumb. And I know this, if I’m trying to solve a problem, I need to be as smart as possible.

So I want to, as quickly as possible, start working on the solution. But again, it’s completely abnormal. It’s biologically ingrained for me to think about the problem. And then most people believe, and I call this the great myth, that most people believe if you start thinking about a problem, it will naturally [00:11:00] lead you to a solution.

And there’s just no empirical evidence anywhere to support that. When I first started I was doing a lot of marriage counseling. I was taking any, anyone who needed my services. I specialized in sport, but I had to pay the bills and I was doing marriage counseling. I was doing drug and alcohol counseling.

I did anything any mental health person could or would do, I was doing. And so I had this couple and they were two physicians. They’d been married 30 years. Living in separate bedrooms for the last 10 years. . But I thought, okay, no problem. I, they train you something in, in in graduate school for marriage counseling.

It’s called the ABCs of Communication. They’re still teaching this today. By the way, the A is you learn to say to your spouse, I feel B is when you see is in this situation. So these two come into the office and I’m really optimistic. [00:12:00] And I know they’re not doing very well, but I’ve got the ABCs, I’m gonna have them back in the rack in no time, no problem, right?

So they sit down and I lay the ABCs on them, and World War III broke out. And I couldn’t control it, and they left the office, and I was very concerned. I thought I’m trying to build a practice here, and if people come in and they have 10 problems, and they leave and they’ve got 14 problems, They’re going to stop coming in pretty quickly and above and beyond that, I just, I want to help people.

And so I started thinking, what did I just do? And thankfully I had this training with PCT and understood that PCT was this thing. And the ABCs are forcing people into that PCT mode. And I saw it in real life. You talk about the problems, you’re going to keep talking about the problems. And if you look at the brain, how the biology works, it’s called the caudate.

It’s a little piece of your brain, and it’s built to loop, and that’s really that safety of the species [00:13:00] that I know there’s a lion over there, and I’m trying to build a shelter over here, but my brain keeps looping back to the lion, so that I don’t forget about it, because people are easily distracted, but we have a built in loop that will keep driving us back to our problems, so it’s pretty cool.

What we have to do to be able to leave the PCT thought is we have to actually train the brain. Now the good news is there are certain elements of training mentally speaking that you can actually stop that loop from happening. You can cause it to have atrophy, if you will, and then you strengthen another neural pattern.

And really it is, there’s a couple of things. One would be the mental workout, which is, I talked about a little bit before. It’s probably a little bit too heavy to get into, but it’s only a minute and 40 seconds daily. And I try to do it at least three times a week. And then you’ve got what are called success logs.

And this is 30 seconds, and if you do those three times a week, biologically speaking, if you look at the science, you can’t stop the brain from [00:14:00] moving forward with its ability to be more RSF than PCT. So for me, because I’ve been doing this stuff for so long, When I’m around PCT, it’s just like a, it’s like somebody, I, it’s, I’m so aware of it now.

It’s all over the place. So I try not to let it bother me, but I’m very aware of it. And even in my own world, when it shows up, it feels now foreign to me. I will not put much time or energy thinking, talking, behaving in that PCT mode. Here are the three questions. One. What did I do well today? Write down on a daily basis, do it three times a week, three things you did well.

I’m just curious. When’s the last time you actually recognized what you did well? It’s pretty abnormal. Okay? Second question. What’s one thing you want to improve? Third question. What’s one action step you can take to make the improvement? And if you ask those questions three times a week, you create neural pathways.

Your brain starts to lean into those neural pathways. That’s RSF thinking. What’s going [00:15:00] well? What do I want to improve? How am I going to make the improvement? The normal brain thinks, overlook all the good stuff, and zero in on your imperfections. You want to screw yourself up? You want to ruin your performance?

Let yourself do that. I guarantee you, give me two athletes. One that doesn’t have any training, and one that will just start doing success logs and mental workouts. If they have the same skill set, there will be no comparison in two to three months. No way. And the more pressure you put on it The better my guy’s gonna perform.

Sure. No doubt about it. It’s just changing the biology of the brain. It’s like you, take two athletes with the same skill set, make one of them physically stronger. Who’s gonna do better? Yeah. It’s not even a fair fight. And again, I’ve been really lucky in my career. I was with the Cardinals for six years.

We win two World Series. I started with Auburn baseball a couple years ago. Predicted to be last in the SEC. We took fifth in the country. Started working with SMU’s football team last year. I’m not trying to get [00:16:00] back in the sports world, so people watching this, please, that’s not my goal. But it was a personal thing to get me back in with Auburn and SMU.

But SMU hadn’t won an AAC championship in 40 years. 4 0. And we won it this year. Oh my gosh. Congratulations. Thank you. I’m not saying it to pat myself on the back. I’m just saying, it’s biology. If you change biology for the better, You’re going to have a much better chance of winning in head to head competition.

Perfect.

Jeff Pelizzaro: When we get focused on problems, and I’m speaking for myself too, it’s really easy to perseverate on it, like you said, the whole loop, but I feel like it’s also really easy to let that kind of snowball, and you tell a couple stories of how it snowballs from one little thing, and then all of a sudden My life is in a terrible place and I’m, and then the whole neurological and psychological physiology starts to happen too.

So when, one thing that was refreshing to me, that You point out in the book is you don’t have to solve all your problems [00:17:00] either is pick one thing and you don’t have to solve that problem. You have to just take that one little piece and move forward. No

Dr. Jason Selk: doubt. And if you think about whether it be competition or a relationship interaction, you’re right.

It starts with one little mistake and then you’re done. Gets a little bit worse. Your performance gets a little bit worse. Performance gets a little bit worse. And every time performance gets a little bit worse, obviously the problem gains more and more momentum. So all you have to realize is And this is the hardest part is, you got to be able to recognize when it’s happening.

That’s the hardest part because biologically you’re trying to recognize something that you’re built to do. It’s very difficult. It’s so normal to just get pulled into that caudate loop and let that one little problem or mistake start to snowball. So what we really want to do is, as quickly as we can, [00:18:00] interrupt that loop.

And it’s simple. The interruption, but again, you first have to recognize, Okay, I’m focused on a problem and there is absolutely nothing positive that’s going to come from this. And I want to be very clear when I say this. Because some people believe. That by focusing on the problem, that’s where the value is.

You do your own homework. Find some empirical evidence anywhere. If you find it, please email me because I need to see it. I’ve been searching for 20 years now and I’m just going to tell people there is no empirical evidence that focusing on the problem is going to lead to the solution or improve the performance.

In fact, it’s the absolute contrary. It’s gonna totally start to devastate you. The first step is you gotta recognize, okay, my mind’s focused on the problem. And as easy as it sounds, it’s actually quite difficult. That’s where the training comes in. That’s if you have a little bit of that mental toughness, that neural patterning of the other stuff, this problem [00:19:00] centric pattern starts to seem a little bit foreign.

And then you just simply, with one simple question, you What’s one thing I can do, right now, that could make this better. And I’m a big believer, I tell the Nando Parado story about one inch. Just look for an inch of improvement. Because if there’s a problem, and you can break the problem loop, And start to create momentum forward, then we start to have momentum moving in the right direction instead of momentum moving around in circles, or in this case, the wrong direction.

What is one thing? Start looking for two or three things, we’re screwed. Start looking for the mile of improvement, we’re done. Find one thing, one inch, and you become relentless about one thing, one inch. You’ll love the results. Love the results. You were talking

Jeff Pelizzaro: about the physiological changes, the cortisol, and I would imagine, and this kind of, since reading this, [00:20:00] what I’ve tried to pay attention to is, when I do start to get a little bit of that feeling starting to wor that’s almost you can use that as your trigger, right?

Oh, I’m heading in the wrong path. At least for me, that was like, okay. I gotta, I got my 60 seconds. I gotta now pull out my sheet and figure out what’s the one thing.

Dr. Jason Selk: Yeah, so if you just think right now, in the last 24 hours, how often have you experienced stress? You don’t have to answer.

It’s a little bit rhetorical, but I want the listeners to think too. Were there three or four times that jump out? Was it one time that lasted for a couple hours? Was it 20 times, and anytime you experience that stress, you know your brain’s focused on the problem. We’re not even biologically able to experience stress, anxiety, fear, anger, depression, guilt.

Those are what I call the nasty six. You can’t experience those without the cortisol. And the cortisol doesn’t go in without the [00:21:00] mind first focusing on a problem. So the alarm system, really the built in biological alarm that we all have is, The experience of any negative emotion and you think anytime you experience stress is an opportunity For you to start working on a solution.

You just you know, you got to start looking out for stress and don’t give yourself permission stress gets a really bad name stress is actually if you think about it on a one to ten scale one two, three and four levels of stress Without them, we’re dead. I drove over here and I’m not the, I was on the phone playing on the radio on the way over here and without two or three, on that level of stress.

I’m going all over, smashing into things. So 1, 2, 3, 4, I would say are healthy levels of stress. You’re not going to feel any negative emotion. It just keeps you on the correct decision making path. 5, 6, 7, [00:22:00] 8, 9, 10, all that. I want people to start viewing as unacceptable. It’s unhealthy. When you start to feel that 10, that’s when you’re self injecting cortisol.

It’s like putting a poison or a toxin in you. That’s when you got to say, okay, wait, stop. I know I’m focused on a problem, I don’t even need to know exactly what the problem is, just here’s the question. What’s one thing I can do right now that could make this one inch better? And start putting your energy into that.

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So let’s shift it now to, to the golf world. I know you’ve worked with tons of athletes, I’m sure you’ve worked with quite a few golfers. So how does this show up in, in our lives? On the golf course, in our training sessions, in our practice sessions and, what’s, what are the things that first get us stuck, and then how do we start moving with the

Dr. Jason Selk: RSF?

Alright, so two, and I’ll just generalize here, but have you ever broken a club, Jeff? No. Have you ever thrown a club?

Jeff Pelizzaro: I don’t think so. Okay. But come, but maybe a little,

Dr. Jason Selk: You understand the ground. Yeah, absolutely. That’d be [00:24:00] one thing. Anytime you’re showing anger, where do you think your brain is?

You’re not PCT for sure. There’s no doubt. It’s got a hold of you and you’ve let that, if we’re looking at anger on the one to 10, you’re at 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. When you’re throwing clubs, you’re screaming cuss words, you’re grouchy. , any of that stuff, you’re on PCT here. Here’s the other one.

The don’t thinking, don’t. Hit it in the water. Don’t go left. Don’t slice. Don’t screw this up. Here’s another one. Now, it’s not quite as evident, but when you’re starting to calculate the final score. You’re on 16 and you’re saying to yourself if this, then This is where I’m going to be when I get in the clubhouse.

Anytime you’re doing that sort of stuff, any of those three, I would tell you, you got your brain focused on the wrong stuff. And so you, okay what am I supposed to focus on? Because I could say to you all day long, Don’t think about a pink elephant with blue running shoes. And I know people listening, [00:25:00] I just said, don’t think about the pink elephant with blue running shoes, and that’s probably exactly what crossed your mind.

So you gotta, instead of thinking about the pink elephant, you have to have something to think about. So I’ll do it again. This time I’m going to tell you, don’t think about a pink elephant. This time I want you to think, what’s your favorite color? What is your favorite color? Green. Alright, I want you to think about a big, beautiful, green, hot air balloon.

Yeah. Alright, so don’t think about a pink elephant with blue running shoes. Yeah. You got the hot air balloon? Yeah, got it. Don’t let a pink elephant with blue running shoes get into your mind. Yeah. Okay, so RSF is the green hot air balloon. But you obviously, there is value in just not thinking about your problems, but I don’t want to be that professional.

I want to know what’s the most valuable thought control. Part of thought control is stop thinking about the negative and I think when you have like gratitude journals, That’s really good stuff. [00:26:00] Anything other than your problems is a good thing. Because you’re not pushing the cortisol in the bloodstream.

But if I can get the most appropriate solution focused thought, or thought control. So I would, for an athlete, for a golfer, we would come up with what’s called a performance statement. So let me think about a guy I work with who’s actually on the tour. Okay head down, tempo 7. Supinate. Okay, so he just, he wants to look at one dimple on the ball, even when the ball’s gone, his tempo of the backswing for him, he likes it at a seven, and then supinate is just follow through.

So instead of thinking about all the don’ts or all the things that went wrong or all the things that could happen, I want him focused on that one thought. That most causes success for him, and that, in the sports world, would be what I call the performance statement. Every athlete I work with, [00:27:00] we’re going to come up with a performance statement, and then we review that performance statement.

You heard me talk earlier about the mental workout. So we’re just reminding ourselves on a regular basis, we’re training ourselves. To be focused on that one thing throughout competition.

Jeff Pelizzaro: And are there times when you have different performance statements for different, say, different parts of the game?

Putting versus being on the tee

Dr. Jason Selk: box. For sure. So I would want, I would just want a full swing and then putting. So typically with a golfer, I want to have two performance statements. One for each of those.

Jeff Pelizzaro: You mention in the book that we tend to bond with each other over our problems, right? And I’m thinking of golfers, and I’m thinking of being on the golf course, and the way that we talk to each other, the way that we talk to ourselves, and many times it’s jokingly.

But is that impacting how we play?

Dr. Jason Selk: Absolutely, no doubt about it. And it’s no different. You guys are on the 18th hole, but think about, at the workplace. People are hanging around the, the coffee [00:28:00] break room. What do you think they’re talking about? How great life is?

Or are they complaining about problems? Here’s another thing. What about the news? Yeah. I had to, literally, I had to quit watching the news 20 years ago. And it’s a real problem in my house. My wife wants to turn on the today show and it’s just like fingernails on a chalkboard for me because.

All the people want to talk about are the problems. And I’m not saying we don’t have problems. I don’t put my head in the sand. I just know this, that when a problem enters my life, I’m not going to think or talk about it. I’m going to kick its ass. And that’s not what happens on the Today Show. And that’s not what happens when people are on the 18th hole, ruminating about all the things that went wrong out there and laughing about how bad we are as golfers.

I would just tell you. Don’t participate in any of that stuff. That’s not making you better. It’s making you worse. And what you’ll find is your life’s going to be a whole lot better when you stop. Hangin around all these people who all they want to talk about is problems. Which is, [00:29:00] for the most part, just about everybody out there.

So you gotta be a little bit careful with that last piece of advice.

Jeff Pelizzaro: Alright, last little thing I want to touch on before we jump into our final segment of questions is goals. You break down, specifically, long term goals, short term goals. And how long term goals, it’s important to think big, it’s important to, really shoot for the moon, shoot for the stars, but short term goals have to be a little bit more realistic.

And this is the first time that I’ve really seen somebody break it down and talk about why. Your short term goals need to be a little bit more realistic, and you can’t, make some crazy thought of what you’re going to achieve in a short

Dr. Jason Selk: period of time. Yeah, and I really, it’s, everything I do is all just science.

And not textbook science. Textbook is the first place, but then it’s got to be proven in real life. Empirical evidence. I was just watching Stephen Covey. His work I didn’t love the book Seven Habits, but he has a speech, hour long speech on each of the seven habits and it’s the most mind opening.

John Wooden. And Steve and Covey have opened my mind more than any other two [00:30:00] people, but I just watched Covey’s first habit. It was proactive. Be proactive. And I didn’t fully understand it when I first started studying him years ago. And really, what Covey says with the pro, be proactive, is if you don’t have a game plan when you wake up, you’re gonna be just blown around by the wind.

And I think, we’ve talked about PCT and there’s all kinds of reasons that if you don’t have a direction to start the day with, It’s quite likely you’re going to end up in the wrong spot. And so Covey, his concept of be proactive. And he says, it’s the most important of all seven of the habits, which I actually agree.

It’s what I call, you must have a winning game plan. Now he doesn’t really talk about the specifics of what you need to do to be proactive. He’s just saying that if you’re not, you’re going to have real problems. So what I’ve tried to do is again, take science and performance science and really figure out, okay, what.

What really does it mean to be proactive? And [00:31:00] there’s three levels of goals you talked about. I got vision, product, and process. Vision are result oriented goals three years or longer. And I know you have this concept, people have this concept of with goal setting, set it high and hope to get close. You got to also be really careful of this.

There’s no empirical evidence to support that’s a good thing unless it’s in three year or longer periods. In less than three year periods, it’s like the New Year’s resolution. You set a high goal, you have no chance of reaching it, and then you end up just quitting on it. And that’s a really bad thing, because without goals, we are not proactive, we’re reactive.

So you have to have goals. Most people don’t. They don’t know, they’ve never been taught how to effectively set goals. So they’re just, by default, not using goals, which means they’re really going to be starting each day reactive. It’s a really bad thing for the human condition. Anyway, vision would be a product goal, three years or longer.

[00:32:00] Result, when I say product, I mean result. And then your second level of goal would be a product goal, twelve years or closer. And then your third would be Twelve months. Excuse me, I’m sorry, did I say twelve years? Twelve months or closer. And then your third level would be process goals. Process goals are the daily activities that are most important that will cause product and vision results to occur.

Alright, so you might say, if I give you an example, I might say, okay, I’m in sales, and let’s use a golf example. I might say, okay, three years from now, I want to have won three majors. All right, so my product goal this year is I want to win one major. My process goals, and this is where you either win or lose is process.

And most people as they get so focused on the product and they forget the process. Coach Wooden, he popularized this [00:33:00] 30 years ago and science has since confirmed this is your number one way to control for results. Focus on the process. And I would just say, you never want to have more than two or three process goals, but they want to be the most important activity.

So it might be, I’m going to commit to mental workouts and success logs five days a week. I’m going to do strength and conditioning five days a week. And I’m going to follow my coach’s training plan six days a week. And we want to be, in the athletic world. With process goals, you really gotta be close to 100%, especially if you’re trying to compete at the pro level.

In the business world I just tell you, it’s a lot easier if you can get two or three really good process goals in the business world, you go 90%, you’re going to win a major, you’re going to win multiple majors every year. But back in the sports world, the main thing I’d tell people is, when you set goals, vision, product, process, make sure you put the most energy, emphasis, focus, by far, [00:34:00] no comparison on those process goals.

Jeff Pelizzaro: I love it. All right, a couple of closing questions we ask everybody that comes on the show. Just have a little fun. Caddyshack or

Dr. Jason Selk: Happy Gilmore. I’m a huge Chevy Chase fan. I love Bill Murray, so absolutely no doubt about it Caddyshack. But, Adam Sandler held his own in

Jeff Pelizzaro: Happy Gilmore. If you could pick a walk up song to the first T Box, do you play a lot of golf?

Do you play

Dr. Jason Selk: much? It’s interesting. You’re not going to like my answer. The last time I played golf was three days before I opened my private practice, so it’s been, 25, 30 years. Okay, wow. I just, I have spent so much time working, and I also felt, you know what? I’m going to have a lot of clients that are on the tour, they’re trying to get on the tour, and they’re going to want to go play golf if they know I play golf, and I’m going to look like a real fool.

Just I’m not going to go out on the baseball field with any of my players, or the football field, I’m going to keep it on the sidelines no I don’t play. If I had a walk up song, oh I don’t know what’s that Eminem song? I, over the years I’ve had some walk up [00:35:00] songs for speeches what’s the Eminem song?

Lose Yourself? Yeah, Lose Yourself. I really like that one. There was an ACDC song my good friend Cole Hillen put me on to, Thunderstruck, that was a good one. I’d probably go with one of those too. Okay. Maybe Hell’s Bells even, ACDC there, get people rocking a little bit.

Jeff Pelizzaro: Is there a book, aside from the books that you’ve written, that has really meant a whole lot to you, that you tend to recommend to people, or that has just been special for you personally?

Yeah, I

Dr. Jason Selk: think from social standpoint, really from a professional or personal standpoint. Number one book I’ve ever read is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. It’s written in 1926. The title, I think, Is a little off putting for some people. It’s not about manipulation, right? It really is about influence and the different, manipulation is I get what I want, but you don’t influences.

We both get what we want. That book is so good at teaching social skills of how to get anyone involved. [00:36:00] to get what they want. Everybody wins, the more people that understand those concepts. I literally just bought that

Jeff Pelizzaro: book for my 15 year old son. It’s about as

Dr. Jason Selk: in my opinion, it’s the best that there is.

Best book ever written, in my opinion. Awesome.

Jeff Pelizzaro: If you could pick a dream foursome that you could go play golf with past historical figures, celebrities, whoever it might be, who would you put in your

Dr. Jason Selk: foursome? I’d definitely put Coach Wooden in there. I was able to spend a little time with him before he passed away.

It was enough to make me want so much more. I’d love spend a little time with Lombardi. I think that’d be interesting. I’ve studied him pretty deeply. And if I could get a round of golf with my dad. He passed away three years ago. I’d take it any day of the week. I’d go out and as long as it could take, I’d be out there swinging those clubs.

I love it.

Jeff Pelizzaro: Alright, if we had the 18STRONG jet fueled up and you could take those guys to any course in the world, where are you going to go?

Dr. Jason Selk: I love going to Vegas. They got some good courses [00:37:00] out there and once we get off the course, I can show everybody a good time. I don’t know I wouldn’t mind spending a little time in Ireland.

I heard they have some pretty good courses over in Ireland and Scotland, but Ireland, Scotland, or Vegas. I’ll let those three pick. Perfect.

Jeff Pelizzaro: Is there a social media account that you follow in any realm that you think would be good for the 18STRONG crew to check out? I’d

Dr. Jason Selk: love to say yes, but honestly, I haven’t been on social media for even one second for the last 12 months.

Personally, and I’m not telling people not to be on social media. Personally, my life’s better because I’m not on it. I know I have an account myself, and I know it’s pretty active, but I You know, people manage it for me. I literally couldn’t even get on if I wanted to because I don’t even have passwords to get on.

I don’t follow anyone, not to say that people shouldn’t, but me personally, I’ve found my life’s a little bit better without

Jeff Pelizzaro: social media. No, I think that says a lot. That’s awesome. Alright, last one, and I know that you haven’t played golf in over 25 years. Yeah. But what’s the best piece of golf advice you’ve ever been

Dr. Jason Selk: given?

I [00:38:00] think I’d put it The best advice I’ve ever given that I’ve heard people say as a pattern, and it’s a centering breath. Remember, when you’re on the practice range, you really have very little pressure on you. And so it’s easy to hit the ball long and straight. You walk over to the first tee, and all of a sudden, the club’s not quite the same.

And a lot of that has to do with your heart rate. See, when you put yourself in a pressure situation, your biology is built. to elevate your heart rate. When the heart rate elevates, it changes all kinds of things, including the timing of your swing. So what we want to do is keep your heart rate under control.

And I would tell you before, every actual swing, maybe not every practice swing, but every time you’re going to actually swing the club, make contact with the ball, try taking a centering breath. Breathe in for six seconds. Hold for two. Breathe out for seven and chances [00:39:00] are it’s just going to make it so much easier because you’ve trained to swing the club Successfully at let’s say 80 beats a minute and when you put pressure in there that 80 turns into 88, 92 pretty quickly Centering breath will put you back at the 70 so it’ll make it a little bit easier for your training to cause success under pressure.

Six, hold, count. Not as fast as you can, but do the old one Mississippi, two Mississippi, in for six, hold for two, out for seven.

Jeff Pelizzaro: Dr. Sock, thank you so much for coming on. This has been amazing. Everybody go check out Relentless Solution Focus. You can find it pretty much everywhere, I would assume.

Thank you for coming on. Thanks for listening to the 18STRONG Podcast. And if you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to share it with your friends. And of course, go follow us over on Instagram, at 18STRONG. Thanks again. We’ll catch up with you next week. Train hard, practice smart, and play better golf.[00:40:00]