Hairgate — How to Argue with Love (When He Doesn't Feel Heard & She Feels Insecure)

In this vulnerable and emotionally-rich episode of The Partnership Podcast, Lauren and Trey unpack a recent argument that started with Trey’s new hairstyle—but quickly spiraled into deeper feelings of not being heard, not feeling prioritized, and long-standing insecurities.

Trey bravely shares how hurt he felt when Lauren made a seemingly small but painful comment, and how it led to a moment where he didn’t feel safe taking his hat off in public. Lauren opens up about her fear of “angering the dragon,” and the shame that creeps in when she feels like she’s going to be “found out” as not good enough—especially in moments she’s trying to help, like with his hair.

Together, they explore the anatomy of an argument: the initial misstep of not knowing who the gift was for, the breakdown in communication around expectations, and the importance of renegotiating in real time. They talk through how they navigated Sunday morning’s repair conversation—not by obsessing over the accuracy of memory, but by focusing on the tools and connection they wanted to rebuild.

Trey reflects on how easily this could’ve turned into a deeper rupture, and what it would’ve meant for the relationship if Lauren had doubled down instead of getting curious. They touch on gaslighting, the emotional weight of small comments, and how to reframe conflict as an invitation to move closer rather than farther apart.

With humor (hello, dragon jokes) and heart, this episode is a raw, real-time example of how to argue with love—especially when one partner doesn’t feel heard and the other feels insecure.

✨ If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who’s learning to fight fair—and don’t forget to rate and review the podcast so more folks can find us. 💛

Want to strengthen your relationship? Click here: www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult

About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.

Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)

Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment.

• Learn more about Sex Ed for You at ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠

• Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren today: ⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠

• Learn more about partnered communication best practices on Sex Ed For You’s Instagram Page: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠

• Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more videos about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast⁠

Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.

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