Uncomfortable Conversations with Josh Szeps

“Gay Sex on Stage” with Tony nominee Samuel Barnett & Marcelo Dos Santos

Feb 10, 2025

Samuel Barnett, a two-time Tony Award nominee, and Marcelo Dos Santos, an award-winning playwright, delve into the complexities of modern gay relationships. They explore the freedom and shame in hookup culture and confront societal expectations around fidelity. The conversation also touches on grief and creativity, influenced by losses during the pandemic, and highlights cultural differences between Australia and Britain. Their insights challenge norms and reveal the universal emotional truths of intimacy, self-worth, and the trials of adult life.

01:11:56

Creator website

Episode guests

Marcelo Dos Santos

Samuel Barnett

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Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

The podcast explores the paradox of seeking connection through casual hookups in the gay community, often leading to emotional emptiness.

Discussion around relationship dynamics reveals tensions between monogamy and promiscuity, highlighting personal insecurities and the quest for deeper intimacy.

The conversation addresses the cultural shame surrounding casual sex, emphasizing the coexistence of pleasure and regret in modern relationships.

Deep dives

Exploring Modern Sexuality

The discussion centers around the fast-paced and often superficial nature of modern dating, particularly within the gay community. It highlights the normalization of casual encounters facilitated by dating apps, where meaningful connections are often replaced by fleeting moments of physical intimacy. This trend raises questions about emotional fulfillment, as individuals navigate the paradox of seeking connection while engaging in sex that may ultimately feel empty or unsatisfying. The conversation hints at the struggle to reconcile desire for freedom in sexual expression with the pursuit of deeper emotional ties.

Intro

3min

Navigating Relationships in the LGBTQ+ Community

19min

Theatrical Reflection: Grief and Creativity

22min

Cultural Clashes: Australia vs. Britain

7min

Exploring Depth in Relationships and Familial Nostalgia

2min

The Complexity of Identity in Sports and Relationships

13min

The Illusion of Adulthood and 'Adulting'

3min

The Fragility of Democracy in Uncertain Times

3min

What's it like being a promiscuous young gay guy in the 2020s? How much freedom is there in random sex from hookup apps, versus how much shame? Do social conservatives have a point when they say fidelity and monogamy are the best model for life?

The producer of "Fleabag" and "Baby Reindeer" -- both humongous British TV shows which started as one-person stage shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival -- has a new one-person stage show about a gay Brit looking for love. "Feeling Afraid As If Something Terrible Is Going To Happen" was a smash hit in Edinburgh and just opened at the Sydney Opera House.

The show's writer, Marcelo Dos Santos, and its star, Samuel Barnett, swung by the Uncomfortable Conversations studio on the day of their opening night. Marcelo won Britain's Critics Circle Theatre Award last year. Samuel has been nominated for an Olivier Award and two Tony Awards, for "The History Boys" and "Twelfth Night" on Broadway.

You can also watch this entire conversation in-person here.

Samuel, Marcelo and Josh wrestle with promiscuity, grief, self-worth, mental health, cultural malaise, sex on stage, and why Aussies and Brits are so allergic to American self-help.

To get more content like this and to join the Uncomfy Convos multiverse, hit the Substack page at https://uncomfortableconversations.substack.com/subscribe

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Uncomfortable Conversations with Josh Szeps

“Gay Sex on Stage” with Tony nominee Samuel Barnett & Marcelo Dos Santos

Episode guests