I study so hard. My grandfather makes me. It is not fun. My life is studying. I am home-schooled. I don't have much freedom. Grandfather says it is important that I learn Chinese in both its modern and classical forms. I like to think I am smart, but I am not a genius. I have to work really hard to keep up with Grandfather's desires, while also doing well on the state-mandated exams. And I do pretty well.

I write in English now because it's mine. It's what I learned for the state exams and not for him. Grandfather is dismissive of English even though he's really good at it, better than me, but he buys me novels and things so I do well. It would upset his pride if I did poorly. And though I love Chinese and I respect my Grandfather, Chinese isn't mine. It is his. Those parts of my mind that love it are his, I guess I feel. And I respect him. And I, I can't even write it. I don't think kind things about him sometimes. I feel a sort of rage.

He doesn't let me use the internet. We only have [...]

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First published:
November 17th, 2025

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/ySoNM6ParKrLRxCAZ/lobsang-s-children-1

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

February 9 Daily Devotion: Chutzpah at Its Finest