Rebecca Onion, Slate senior editor, and Danielle Kurtzleben, NPR political reporter, discuss the fears and challenges of pending motherhood, including the concept of 'cool moms' and the merits of 'lean in feminism.' They also reflect on navigating career and covering abortion while pregnant.
The speaker reflects on the importance of having an equal partner and strong support systems to navigate the challenges of parenting while maintaining individuality.
The speaker acknowledges the need to resist the imposed burden of parenting primarily falling on women and the importance of having a partner who shares responsibilities equally.
Deep dives
Concerns about the impact of motherhood on career
The speaker discusses her worries about how becoming a mother will affect her career. Drawing from personal experiences and societal observations, she expresses concern about the gender wage gap and how motherhood can hold women back professionally. She acknowledges the importance of having an equal partner and the necessity of support systems to navigate the challenges of parenting while maintaining individuality. The speaker reflects on the book 'Lean In' by Sheryl Sandberg, recognizing its flaws but also the value it holds in promoting assertiveness and negotiation in the workplace.
Balancing individuality and parenting
The speaker explores her anxieties about losing her sense of self and the activities she enjoys due to motherhood. She expresses concerns about not being able to engage in activities like rock climbing, yoga, and long-distance running. She also reflects on the negativity surrounding parenting that she has observed and wonders how she will navigate and maintain her individuality in the face of societal expectations. The speaker acknowledges that watching her child grow and thrive may be fascinating and bring her joy, but she also admits to having internalized misogyny and fears about losing her identity in the process.
Internalized misogyny and societal expectations
The speaker delves into her background growing up in a male-centric environment and how it shaped her perception of gender roles. She discusses the pressure placed on women to prioritize caregiving and the lack of support from society. The speaker reflects on her worries about becoming a mom and whether she will conform to societal expectations or retain her individuality. She acknowledges the need to resist the imposed burden of parenting primarily falling on women and the importance of having a partner who shares responsibilities equally.
Embracing the unknown and personal growth
The speaker acknowledges that parenting is a transformative experience with unknown outcomes. She compares it to other life choices where uncertainty looms large. The speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing the journey and allowing personal growth to happen. She highlights that while some worries may seem overwhelming, there are also moments of joy, pride, and fascination that come with watching a child grow and learn. The speaker expresses her hope that parenting will ultimately be a source of joy and fulfillment in her life.
On this week’s episode of The Waves, Slate senior editor Rebecca Onion is joined by NPR political reporter Danielle Kurtzleben to unpack all the fears that come with pending motherhood. They unpack Danielle’s brilliant Substack piece, “A Professional Lady Correspondent Stares Down Motherhood,” their fears of “cool moms” and…the possible merits of ”lean in feminism.” Heavy emphasis on the possible.
In Slate Plus, how Danielle navigated covering abortion post-Roe while pregnant.
Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Tori Dominguez with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery.
Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com.