Mental Illness Happy Hour #667 Regulating Intense Emotions - Elyse Cizek
Elyse Cizek is a writer and a musician who opens up about her journey of self-reflection and change, what it’s been like living with BPD, and how she manages relationships in her life given her diagnosis. She also shares a number of incredible self-soothing tactics that have helped her along the way.
More About Elyse:
https://zora.medium.com/dear-white-friends-335d6088077
https://elysecizek.medium.com/cancel-culture-isnt-real-4d2b62b47a9d
Elyse’s Tips To Self-Soothe
1. Recognize that I am dysregulated. Stepping outside and observing how I’m feeling helps me to separate the feelings/fear from reality and allow myself to feel them, but without the urgency to act.
2. Talk to myself. Out loud. “Hey, I’m here. You’re ok. You’re safe.” Saying things like this, wrapping my arms around myself, kissing my shoulders, rubbing my cheeks…I can be angry, sad, overwhelmed, but I get to do it in the safe embrace of myself.
3. Ask myself what I need. Again. Out loud. Do I need a glass of water? To go outside? Something to eat? The process of cooking or preparing food, filling a glass of water, etc, is excellent in these times. I cry while I do it. I scream. I lay on the floor if I need to, then get back up.
4. Do something with my hands. Wash a dish, write something down, sweep my floors, take my dog outside, again-preparing food. All of it helps keep my brain preoccupied.
5. Call someone. Anyone. Talk to a human being. About anything.
If I’m not at home:
All of these work but if I’m in public (like a gym or a movie theater) and a panic attack comes on, I go outside. The self-soothing of embracing myself and talking to myself is still a major first step. Who cares who’s watching?!
Besides that, I will run around the block or call a friend.
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