In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, an education platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss actionable protocols for raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids and effective alternatives to typical forms of reward and punishment that instead teach children valuable skills and strengthen the parent-child bond. These protocols also apply to other types of relationships: professional, romantic, friendships, siblings, etc.

We explain how to respond to emotional outbursts, rudeness, and entitlement, repair fractured relationships, build self-confidence, and improve interpersonal connections with empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries.

We also discuss how to effectively communicate with children and adults with ADHD, anxiety, learning challenges, or with “deeply feeling” individuals.

The conversation is broadly applicable to all types of social interactions and bonds. By the end of the episode, you will have learned simple yet powerful tools to build healthy relationships with kids, teens, adults, and oneself.

For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.

Thank you to our sponsors

AG1: https://athleticgreens.com/huberman

LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/hubermanlab

Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman

Timestamps

(00:00:00) Dr. Becky Kennedy

(00:02:44) Sponsors: Mateína, Joovv & AeroPress

(00:07:35) Healthy Relationships: Sturdiness, Boundaries & Empathy

(00:14:34) Tool: Establishing Boundaries

(00:18:24) Rules, Boundaries & Connection

(00:22:19) Rewards & Punishments; Skill Building

(00:29:48) Sponsor: AG1

(00:31:16) Kids & Inherent Good

(00:34:06) Family Jobs, Validation & Confidence, Giving Hope

(00:41:54) Rewards, Pride

(00:44:48) Tool: “I Believe You”, Confidence & Safety; Other Relationships

(00:52:15) Trauma, Aloneness & Repair

(00:57:07) Tool: Repair & Apologies, Rejecting Apology

(01:01:04) Tool: Good Apologies

(01:03:35) Sponsor: InsideTracker

(01:04:37) Tool: Rudeness & Disrespect, Most Generous Interpretation

(01:12:32) Walking on Eggshells, Pilot Analogy & Emotional Outbursts, Sturdy Leadership

(01:20:49) Deeply Feeling Kids; Fears, Sensory Overload

(01:30:10) Co-Parenting Differences & Punishment

(01:37:11) Tool: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Meditation

(01:41:20) Tool: Tolerating Frustration, Screen Time, Learning

(01:51:57) Grace & Parenthood, Parenting Job Description; Relationship to Self

(01:55:24) Tool: “I’m Noticing”, Asking Questions; Emotional Regulation

(02:01:15) Adolescence & Critical Needs, Explorers vs. Nomads

(02:09:58) Saying “I Love You”, Teenagers; Family Meetings

(02:15:07) Self-Care, Rage & Boundaries; Sturdy Leaders; Parent Relationship & Conflict

(02:22:08) Tool: Wayward Teens, Marijuana & Substance Use, Getting Additional Help

(02:30:03) Mentors

(02:34:26) Tool: Entitlement, Fear & Frustration

(02:41:57) Tool: Experiencing Frustration; Chores & Allowance

(02:46:31) Good Inside Platform

(02:51:27) Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

Disclaimer

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The Cry of the Captives, Ep. 8