This week, the boys kick things off with some serious déjà vu as Fyre Fest’s favorite grifter promises he’s totally throwing another festival — because nothing says “I’ve changed” like doubling down on the same scam. Meanwhile, the IRS decided to become ICE’s BFF by casually sharing migrant tax data, and their commissioner moonwalks out right after. Also: Microsoft’s long game of “let OpenAI set the money on fire while we build empires” is going exactly as planned.

In the news, it’s Elon all day: Starlink might be doing the same government freebie hustle Microsoft perfected, DOGE is monitoring your comms for anti-Musk snark, and apparently has enough data on your family to build Black Mirror Season 8. Tesla’s financials are circling the drain so hard they won’t even take their own Cybertrucks back as trade-ins, but don’t worry — Elon’s ready to bail out Twitter/xAI with monopoly money. Over in the UK, the cops are one coffee away from full Minority Report, and MIT confirms what we already knew: AI doesn’t have morals, just vibes. Speaking of AI, someone sent an avatar to court. Yes, really.

In Media Candy, it’s a smorgasbord: The White Lotus is back, Murderbot looks like a win, and the Tron: Ares trailer wants you to care again. There’s also a full Ask A Ninja drop for your 2006 nostalgia, and “Donald Trump Rides a Cock Horse” makes us long for the innocent absurdity of Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse. Over in Apps & Doodads, we’ve got AI dumbbells (because of course), Instagram still pretending the iPad doesn’t exist, and the Scotty Peeler — the tool you didn’t know you needed. Finally, Dave’s back in The Darkside, riffing on malware, The Owl House, and how ChatGPT sometimes gives your image prompts a side of Lovecraftian horror. RIP to some true legends: Dave Allen, Al Barile, and Clem Burke — your music lives louder than ever.

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