The Hard Shoulder How to do Stuff: Making New Friends
Jul 30, 2025
Guest Simon Tierney, a master of tips for life’s conundrums, shares insights into the art of making new friends. He highlights the challenges adults face in sustaining relationships amid busy lives. The conversation delves into the impact of social media on friendships and the difference between organic and manufactured connections. Tierney also discusses the 'acceptance prophecy,' encouraging listeners to meet new people and foster diverse perspectives. Finally, he explores gender dynamics in adult friendships, emphasizing their importance during tough times.
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Friend Categories and Limits
- There are different categories of friends including acquaintances, friends, and close friends defined by shared hours spent together.
- The mind can typically handle about five close friendships simultaneously, much less than the hundreds of social media "friends".
Make Friends by Joining Groups
- To make new friends as an adult, actively seek out and join clubs or groups where friendships can form.
- These settings create fertile grounds for friendships even if they feel initially manufactured or artificial.
Acceptance Prophecy in New Groups
- The acceptance prophecy explains social awkwardness entering new groups: expecting rejection makes us standoffish.
- Expecting acceptance increases chances of fitting in by reducing defensive behaviors.