Expert Insights Part 1: Love, Relationships, and Parenting (Breather Episode with Brad)

Nov 13, 2020

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Today, I’ll be sharing some amazingly effective and extremely thought-provoking insights about interpersonal relationships from true experts in their field. From parenting to friendship to how to deal with your partner on days when you have zero patience, there are definite Do’s and Don’ts to consider when it comes to how you communicate and treat the people closest to you.

Luckily, I’ve had the pleasure of having relationship expert (and Time magazine’s Co-Person of the year in 2017!) Dr. Wendy Walsh on Get Over Yourself twice (see show #1 here and show #2 here). Wendy is an evolutionary psychologist and a true trailblazer who also hosts her own podcast called Mating Matters. And, like John Gray, Wendy is aware of the contrast between how little we have evolved biologically and how much gender roles have seriously evolved over time.

In this show, you’ll learn the three things a man looks for in a woman (big surprise, #1 is youth and beauty) and the three things women look for in a man, as well as why wearing perfume can actually sabotage your chances of attracting a mate! I’ll also touch on why emotional self-sufficiency is key and the four attributes of winning relationships as defined by Wendy, the first one being physical attraction. Turns out nothing can replace having good ‘ol fashioned chemistry with someone! And while most people tend to assume that that “spark” that you and your partner first experience in the beginning of your relationship is simply not sustainable long-term, then you’re in for a big surprise. This show will teach you why Dr. John Gottman says it is possible to preserve that romantic spark between you and your partner years down the line, and the actions you can take to ensure this.

I’ll also talk about the (inverse) power of praise when it comes to parenting your children, why it is important to step away from the “helicopter” parenting trend and not coddle your kids too much, as well as the specific thing my son said to me that really opened my eyes and perspective on parenting. You’ll learn what causes children to be “metabolically and medically accelerated” into adulthood and start to develop diseases like Type 2 Diabetes, fatty liver, and high cholesterol, and why downtime is incredibly important. While it is good for your kids to have activities they enjoy doing, it is never a good idea for them to be constantly busy, distracted, and stimulated. Believe it or not, daydreaming and play are not a waste of time, but in fact, the opposite.

I wrap up the show by using a golfing metaphor to describe the balance of the parent-child dynamic, and talk about the importance of setting boundaries for your kids, as well as how you can balance letting go of the need to control your children’s lives while also offering unconditional love and support.

Thanks for listening, and stay tuned for more expert advice in part 2 of this episode!

TIMESTAMPS:

This show is about interpersonal relationships starting with Dr. Wendy Walsh who describes what men and women want from one another. [06:11]

The roles have changed so much for men and women in today’s society. [09:11]

Men’s criteria to look for in a woman is youth and beauty, loyalty, and kindness. [10:40]

Women look for resources, intelligence, and kindness. [13:40]

What are the four attributes of a winning relationship? [16:35]

Studies have shown that the natural scent that a person gives off has much to do with the attraction. [18:24]

Learn to express yourself with loving kindness. [19:31]

Empathy is number three on the list for making a good relationship. [21:38]

Impulse control goes hand in hand with emotional regulation. [22:18]

As highly motivated parents, we often push our children to start acting like adults. [22:58]

Even in the most affluent populations, people still suffer from FOMO. [24:24]

The high stress life of trying to give the kids every opportunity, has accelerated the development of diseases in children that were not appearing in children years ago. [27:18]

Take a deep breath, relax, sit back and let your kid discover the world with them in the driver’s seat. [30:31]

LINKS:

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