It's Not Me It's You: Addressing Narcissism at Home, Work, School & the Greater World with Dr. Karyne Messina, EdD
Sep 12, 2023
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Dr. Karyne Messina, a clinical psychologist, discusses the concept of projective identification and blame shifting in relationships. Her book, 'It’s Not Me, It’s You!' guides readers on how to recognize narcissistic manipulation and protect themselves. The podcast explores the dynamics of blame shifting in narcissistic behavior, the prevalence of human trafficking, therapy's role in social dynamics, and strategies to counter narcissistic manipulation.
Recognizing projective identification in relationships is crucial to protect oneself from abuse and manipulation.
Recognizing blame shifting in relationships is important for the recipients to understand that it is not their fault and that they are not responsible for the actions or behaviors projected onto them.
Deep dives
Understanding Projective Identification in Relationships
Projective identification is a defense mechanism used by narcissists and others to shift blame onto others. It involves projecting disliked aspects of oneself onto someone else and then accusing them of the behavior or characteristics. This can cause confusion and harm to the recipient who may start to believe the false accusations. Recognizing projective identification in relationships is crucial to protect oneself from abuse and manipulation.
Recognizing Blame Shifting and Its Effects
Blame shifting is a conscious act of putting the responsibility and fault on others to avoid taking ownership. It can happen gradually or start small, but it ultimately builds up over time. Recognizing blame shifting in relationships is important for the recipients to understand that it is not their fault and that they are not responsible for the actions or behaviors projected onto them. Building self-esteem and self-respect is crucial in asserting oneself and saying no to the blame shifting dynamic.
The Impact of Mean Girls and Bullying
Mean girls or mean women engage in more subtle forms of bullying, such as exclusion, gossiping, and making derogatory comments. They often project their own insecurities and negative feelings onto others. Recognizing these behaviors as projection and understanding that they stem from the mean girl's own issues can help individuals protect themselves emotionally and not internalize the negative remarks.
Understanding Projective Identification in Racism
Projective identification can also manifest in racist attitudes and behaviors. Individuals who harbor racist thoughts or beliefs may unconsciously project their own insecurities and negative feelings onto racial or ethnic groups. Recognizing this projection helps individuals understand that racist attitudes are not a reflection of the targeted group, but rather a projection of one's own unresolved issues and biases.
Dr. Karyne Messina joins us on this episode of the Psychology Talk Podcast. Dr. Messina is a clinical psychologist and Supervising and Training Analyst at the Washington Baltimore Center for Psychoanalysis and is on the medical staff of Johns Hopkins Medicine in Bethesda, Maryland. She maintains a full-time private practice in Chevy Chase, Maryland.
Dr. Messina the author of several books, including Misogyny, Projective Identification, and Mentalization, and, Aftermath: Healing from the Trump Presidency. She discusses how the psychoanalytical concept of projective identification, or what she terms "blame shifting" manifests in our relationships.
Her new book, It’s Not Me, It’s You! How Narcissists Get What They Want and How to Stop Them, discusses just that. This is more of a self-help or guidebook that mentors the reader in ways to identify blame shifting and protect oneself from further abuse and manipulation.
The Psychology Talk Podcast is a unique conversation about psychology around the globe. Your host Dr. Scott Hoye discusses psychology and mental health trends with practitioners and experts to keep you informed about issues and trends in the industry. Dr. Hoye is a clinical psychologist and the director of Chicago Psychology Services, in Chicago, IL., USA.