3-Step Approach to Better Money & Marriage with Rachel McDonough

Sep 20, 2024

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There’s a saying…“When the wolf comes in the door, love creeps out the window.”

Money problems are always listed among the top reasons couples divorce. This is all the more tragic because money problems are fixable. Rachel McDonough joins us today with a three-step approach to better money and marriage.

Rachel McDonough is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®), a Certified Kingdom Advisor (CKA®), and a regular Faith & Finance contributor..

Finding Unity

Managing money in marriage can be a significant source of frustration for couples. With different financial habits, priorities, and values, it’s easy for disagreements to arise. However, finding unity in your finances can bring peace and strengthen your relationship.

Rachel McDonough has advised many couples on navigating their finances, and she shares a powerful three-step approach to help couples align their values, priorities, and financial goals:

1. Understand Each Other’s Personal Values

The foundation of financial unity in marriage is understanding each spouse’s personal values. When two people get married, they bring different perspectives, experiences, and priorities to the relationship. Of course, it would be nice if couples automatically thought the same way, but that’s rarely the case. Instead, couples must intentionally work to understand each other.

Our personal values reflect the unique "fingerprints" of God in our lives. For example, one spouse might highly value generosity, reflecting God’s giving nature, while the other might prioritize creativity, which mirrors God’s role as a creator. These values are part of what draws couples together, but differences also exist.

The key is to honor both similarities and differences, learning how to celebrate each other’s unique values. Couples can engage in exercises like value inventories to help uncover what drives each person’s financial decisions and actions.

2. Identify Financial Priorities

Once values are understood, the next step is to list and prioritize financial goals. These priorities often stem from personal values and can encompass more than just financial goals. For instance, one spouse might prioritize health, recognizing that a stressful job affects their well-being. As a result, this could lead to a financial decision, such as working fewer hours to improve overall health.

Couples should openly discuss their individual priorities and work together to allocate resources equitably. By aligning their financial decisions with shared values, they create a plan that reflects both spouses’ desires and ensures that resources are used to honor both perspectives.

3. Implement an Actionable Plan

The final step is to take the identified values and priorities and create a practical, actionable plan. At this stage, couples must decide how to manage their finances, determining specific amounts for various expenses, goals, and savings.

When both spouses participate in creating the financial plan, it reflects their unity. For example, if one spouse enjoys making checklists and organizing tasks, they can use that skill to implement the plan effectively. By working together, couples can move forward with intention, managing their money in a way that reflects their shared goals.

The Role of Prayer and Patience in Financial Unity

For couples who find themselves struggling to get on the same page, Rachel offers two pieces of advice:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Unity cannot happen without mutual respect and cooperation. Acting independently or without your spouse’s agreement can lead to division rather than unity.
Pray for your spouse. If God is leading you to make a financial decision, trust that He can also speak to your spouse. Instead of pushing or pressuring, pray for God to bring unity and change hearts if necessary.

By understanding each other’s values, prioritizing goals, and creating a practical plan, couples can manage their finances to honor both spouses and bring peace to their relationship. And when challenges arise, prayer and patience can help foster the unity that God desires for every marriage.

For more financial wisdom from Rachel McDonough, visit her firm’s website at WealthSQ.com.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

My mom has a vacant house that's expensive to maintain. I've been advised to use it as an Airbnb or rent it out. I don't know which option is better. The Airbnb route makes me nervous since I don't know much about it. What do you recommend?

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