Feeling Like You're Never Good Enough?

Oct 16, 2024

The podcast dives into the all-too-common feeling of inadequacy, using a humorous couch anecdote as a metaphor for our emotional burdens. It tackles the self-defeating belief of never being good enough and offers practical tips for healthier self-perception. Listeners are encouraged to challenge media influences and embrace their imperfections. The discussion emphasizes growth through mistakes and the importance of genuine relationships, inviting a journey toward self-acceptance and emotional relief.

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ANECDOTE

Couch Anecdote

Emma McAdam tells a story about struggling to move a new couch into her house.
It was only manageable after unpacking it into smaller pieces.

INSIGHT

Comparison Trap

Feeling "never good enough" stems from unclear goals and comparing yourself to others.
Constant comparison leads to a lose-lose situation where you can never truly win.

ADVICE

Limit Media, Define Values

Limit media exposure and be mindful of marketing's impact on your self-esteem.
Define your values and focus on living by them instead of comparing yourself to others.

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I polled my audience and 92% of you said you always or sometimes feel like you are never good enough. This is so crushing. Believing that “you’re never good enough” can contribute to depression and anxiety, so we’re going to break it down in a way that won’t make you feel like a failure for feeling like a failure and explore some ways we can work through this.

But first, let me tell you a story about a couch (I promise it’s relevant).

Feeling “Never good enough” is so big, so heavy, so scary, no one taught us what to do with these thoughts, and we’re afraid to take them out of the box, because maybe we won’t be able to handle them. But the truth is, when we open them up, break them down into small pieces, and work through them with support, we can totally handle them. When we do this in therapy, I hear people say “Why didn’t I do that sooner? it wasn’t as bad as I feared”. So let’s do this with the belief that you’re “Never good enough,” and maybe we can keep you from getting a migraine and sweating profusely.

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.