Author and popularity expert Mitch Prinstein discusses the role of popularity from childhood to adulthood, the influence of physical attractiveness, how popularity affects our hormones and DNA, the dangers of seeking status, and how to escape the popularity trap.
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Quick takeaways
Popularity is deeply rooted in our biology and evolution, shaping our experiences and opportunities.
Likability is a more enduring and positive form of popularity, associated with better relationships and overall happiness.
The influence of social media has reshaped societal perspectives on popularity, emphasizing external validation and often leading to feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction.
Deep dives
The Influence of Popularity on our Brains and Behavior
Popularity is deeply rooted in our biology and evolution, as it ensured our survival in tribal communities. We are wired to care about what others think of us, and this concern starts as early as elementary school. Our physical appearance and social status heavily influence popularity, shaping our experiences, opportunities, and learning. However, popularity is different from likability, as popularity often involves aggression and power dynamics, which can erode our likeability. Understanding the distinction between popularity and likability can help us navigate social relationships and strive for sustainable connections.
The Impact of Popularity on our Health and Well-being
Popularity, or status, has a significant influence on our lives even beyond high school. Research shows that popularity or lack thereof can impact our health, success, and overall well-being. Those with high status often go on to achieve more success as adults, while those with low status may face higher risks of substance abuse, anxiety, and other negative outcomes. However, it is important to note that likability is a more enduring and positive form of popularity, associated with longer lives, better relationships, and overall happiness.
The Role of Social Media and Modern Media in Shaping Popularity
The advent of social media and other modern media platforms has dramatically changed the landscape of popularity. Status-seeking and the pursuit of popularity have become more accessible and obtainable for individuals. The influence of social media, reality TV, and other forms of media has reshaped societal perspectives on popularity. Nowadays, there is a strong emphasis on online presence, number of followers, and likes as measures of popularity. However, this emphasis on status and external validation can often lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and an overall dissatisfaction with social relationships.
The Importance of Understanding the Distinction Between Likability and Status
It is crucial to recognize the difference between likability and status in our social interactions. Likability is based on genuine connections, kindness, and consideration for others, while status often involves aggression, power dynamics, and differentiation from others. Striving for both likability and status can be beneficial, but it is essential to prioritize likeability as it leads to longer-term fulfillment, better relationships, and overall well-being. Recognizing the impact of popularity on our lives, understanding the distinction between likability and status, and actively working towards nurturing authentic connections can help us build healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
The Influence of Popularity and Conformity
Popularity is often equated with quality, leading people to conform their preferences to what is popular. Being part of the mainstream is seen as desirable, while being left out is feared. However, anti-popularity can also be a form of conformity, as individuals actively differentiate themselves from what is popular. Studies have shown that popularity can have powerful effects on behavior, with individuals emulating the actions of popular peers even when they believe they are not being observed. Social media amplifies these effects, as popularity is often equated with likes and online engagement, influencing how the brain processes information.
The Impact of Social Media on Self-esteem and Relationships
Social media, with its permanent, worldwide, and immediate nature, fueled by artificial intelligence, has become a perfect storm for popularity-seeking behavior. Adolescents, in particular, are susceptible to the desire for popularity, which can lead to negative outcomes such as loneliness, depression, and compromised mental health. The pressure to conform to physical standards and compare oneself to others on social media can have detrimental effects on body image and self-esteem. Additionally, social media interactions can hinder the development of social and relationship skills in teens, compromising their ability to navigate healthy relationships as adults. Parents play a crucial role in guiding their children's understanding of popularity, emphasizing the importance of likability and inclusivity over status-seeking behavior.
Can we cultivate the likability that accompanies popularity without yielding to its status-seeking negatives? Popular author Mitch Prinstein weighs in!
What We Discuss with Mitch Prinstein:
How the role of popularity changes from childhood to adulthood.
How much does physical attractiveness influence our popularity (and what can we do to overcome its effects if we're not particularly gifted in the looks department)?
How popularity affects our hormonal and neural responses -- and even our DNA.
